For The Week Of 07/04/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Shortly after her wedding, the newlywed wife is complaining to her mother about her husband's insatiable sexual appetite.

"He wants to do it 15 times a day, anytime, anyplace, anywhere -- on the table, on the stairs, on the sofa, in the car, in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I can barely walk anymore!"

The mother advises her daughter to tell him that she has her period, which seems like a good idea.

So that evening, when the husband comes home from work, he proceeds to undress himself and his wife, when she stops him.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but it's that time of the month."

The husband gets up, looks at his wife, and says, "It's all good honey. I understand." He puts on a robe and walks away.

The wife is somewhat surprised at the mature reaction of her husband, until a few minutes later he returns holding two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

So she asks, "What's going on, dear?"

"We're celebrating!" he replies.

"Celebrating? What exactly are we celebrating?" she asks.

"Anal sex week!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Experiation Dates -Good To Know
Horse Hater -Hilarious
Odd World -Weird
Free Fall-Addictive
Office Bow -Make One Yourself
Crossing River -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Registrars
Need to find out how much you have in your account, but have only other banks’ ATMs at your disposal? Avoid the balance inquiry charge by simply attempting to withdraw way more money than you have in your account. The teller machine will inform you that your transaction cannot be completed, as you have only X amount of dollars in available funds.


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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Mike
How can I get my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while we’re goin’ at it?
A:

So you want a little foul–mouthed foreplay.I’m sure your girl would be willing to give it to you, so long as she feels comfortable doing it. The trouble is, there is a fine line between kinky and just plain silly. Dirty talk can easily degenerate from sexy to stupid. And when you’re feeling all Barry White, the last thing you want is a Weird Al gigglefest. Let your girl know that you aren’t going to laugh at her and that nasty language really turns you on. Try it out on her over the phone, where you won’t be able to touch each other and she won’t have to worry about looking silly. You start first, but, don’t just let loose with a stream of sobriquets you picked up in the locker room. Ease her into it. Try out some softcore phrases first—along the lines of, “You’re so hot. You turn me on so much.” Once you open a dirty dialogue, it’ll be easier to shift her into full–on, hardcore, smut talk.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Smoking Chimp
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "mex.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "mex.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Leaving a half-gram of marijuana as a tip at a Starbuck's is a bad idea. Coming back the next day, fighting with the police and dropping your stash is even worse. But police say that's what Delshawn Prejean, 35, of Jacksonville, did. According to a Sheriff's Office report, a customer at the Starbuck's told the server as he was leaving, "I left your tip on the counter." When she looked down, she saw a small amount of unwrapped marijuana. But the man was gone. When Prejean came into the store Tuesday, the server recognized him as the customer who had left the pot. She called a security guard and police. When he got to the door to leave, the security guard identified himself, but Prejean wouldn't stop, police said. Jacksonville Sheriff's Officer F.D. Lockley intervened and a struggle ensued in the parking lot, where others helped subdue Prejean. During the fracas, Prejean dropped a box containing marijuana and rolling papers, officers said. Prejean was arrested and charged with battery, resisting an officer, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was released late Wednesday from the Duval County Jail on his own recognizance. There was no information on whether had had retained a lawyer and there was no telephone listing for Prejean.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"why pray to the god's when you get the milk for free?" -TED Runners-up
"Talk about family jewels"-Rick
"Now that is what I call STACKED" -Brad



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