... It was a rainy afternoon and Billy wanted to go out and play, But his mother said "NO Billy it's pouring out!" An hour later Billy comes back and asks "Mommy it's not raining anymore may I go out now?" His Mom looks out the window and says "I guess so" So little Billy runs into the kitchen and grabs a bag of M+M's of the counter and goes outside, He sits down on the curb, takes an M+M throws it up in the air catches it in his mouth bites his cat Mittens and moves over on the curb. Billy's mom looks out the window and see's this going on and she just ignores it. Ten minutes later Billy takes an M+M throws it up in the air catches it in his mouth bites his cat and moves down the curb more. So hi mom seeing this going on again goes outside and says "Billy what on earth are you doing?" Billy says "just playing Trucker! Popping Pills, Eatin Pussy, and Moving on down the road"

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by kelly
Doc JD, I am a 31-year-old female who's really turned on by the swinging lifestyle; however, my 23-year-old boyfriend is the jealous type who wouldn't be able to handle seeing another man make me happy sexually. I would love to do the swap thing and the thought of an orgy makes me HOT! But how could I approach my boyfriend about this without him thinking he doesn't satisfy me? He does satisfy me. It's kinda like hunger. My boyfriend's steak satisfies my hunger, but there are a lot of foods out there to fill my belly, and that wouldn't mean I don't love his steak (him, LOL). Any suggestions on how to get a jealous man to get into the "swing" of things in the swinging lifestyle? Does this make me a bad girlfriend for even wanting this? He's said we could have 3-some but only with another girl (which I would love to try if I could just find a willing woman, damn my small town). Wanna-be Swinger in small-town Iowa

A:
(JD was gone on monday so billy handled this one.) Men are very different creatures than women, we would love to have mutiple partners but as soon the women wants another schlong we get all upity about it. Every man wants to be the man, and part of being the man is keeping our women happy, and since all men think that keeping a women happy is giving her a huge helping of our mandingo, it would kill us and our self esteem to know that you want seconds from someone else. But dont panic, Billy knows a way around this. This way will work as long as you can sacrifice your hunger to fill his belly first. Pick out the hottest girl that is willing to get it on with your man. Then organize a little double date that ends back at your place. Now have a good amount of alchol ready to loosen the inhibitions. Have a well devised plan in place for your friend to hit on your boyfriend through out the night {stronger as the night goes on}, even a little in front of you, when you see this, encourage it). At your crib, have the alchol flowing and let your girlfriend make a move on your boyfriend. When she does this, your boyfriend will first look at you to see what the hell is going on, and at this moment give him the okay nod. He will never resist, while this is going on you have all the right to get it on with your friend's date. When the sex session is over, tell him how much you were turned on by him being with another chick. Also let him know that you enjoyed your session with another man, but in a purely physical way and it could never compare to the love making between you too. You still have to sooth his ego. Either way, it will be a great night. Let Billy know the outcome, and if you ever get hungry in south fla. Billy steakhouse delivers.

-Billy