For The Week Of 07/12/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 mllion dollars is hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!" The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! "The money is in a brown briefcase,buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!" The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The attorney replies:"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Jerk Your Own Adventure -HUH?
99 Ways To Impress Your GF -Hilarious.
Single Patricia -Come And Get It!
Eroscillator -Vibrator Approved By Dr. Ruth!
Turtle Kiss -First Ever Turtle Painter
Mini Golf -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Hotels!
Many hotels in cities you’d actually want to visit charge a higher rate, or don’t allow you to reserve a room at all, for a single night’s stay on the weekend. Next time you need a one-night outpost for illicit sex, kidnapping victims, or crack deals of 4.5kg or more, reserve the room for both Friday and Saturday nights but then call back right before the deadline and cancel Friday’s reservation. Tell the representative that something came up—‘your dog caught SARS’ is a keeper—and that you have to cancel Friday but will be in on Saturday. Works every time. contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Rey
I want sex at least three times a week but my girlfriend only wants it once a week. She works out, has a great body, and doesn't seem stressed, so what's her hang up?

A:
First of all, don't act pissed off. If you start fighting about sex, she's going to put out even less. It's hard to know the true cause without talking to her about it. One way to get her guard down is to tell her that it bothers you that she doesn't want to make love more often and--while looking her sensitively in the eyes--you want to know if you're doing something wrong. (The old ?it's me, isn't it?,' strategy always softens women up.) Then she'll either come clean about what she wishes were different, or insist that she's the problem, not you--at which point you can probe to find out what's up. But you might have to accept that there is no problem. Maybe that's just how much sex she wants to have, no matter how good the sex is. In which case, you may have to decide if that's good enough for you.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Wild Police Chase!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "mustang.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "mustang.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Palm Beach Post writer, making the point that America's obesity problem is not limited to humans, reported from the Boca Greens Animal Hospital (Boca Raton, Fla.) in June that "Pumpkin," a 12-pound Chihuahua, was up and moving well after her recent liposuction surgery. However, the 12 ounces of fat she lost still left her among South Florida's overweight pets, said to be two-thirds of their population. As Pumpkin's owner was reminded, surgery is not to be a substitute for sensible exercise and a modest number of treats. [Palm Beach Post, 6-22-04]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Sometimes life really is a drag!"-Margot
Runners-up
"OK, I did what you could do, now let's see you suck a dick."-Rodney
"Anything you can do, I can do better"-jj



contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_caption



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