|JOKE OF THE
Mafia Godfather finds out that his
bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This bookkeeper is
deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the
job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper
would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about
in court. When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about
his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who
knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is
the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using
sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 mllion dollars is
hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are
talking about." The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he
doesn't know what you're talking about." That's when the Godfather
pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks
it, and says: "Ask him again!" The attorney signs to the underling:
"He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper
signs back: "OK! You win! "The money is in a brown briefcase,buried
behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!" The
Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The attorney
replies:"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger"
|SITES OF THE
|Jerk Your Own Adventure -HUH? |
To Impress Your GF -Hilarious.
Patricia -Come And Get It!
Approved By Dr. Ruth! |
|Turtle Kiss -First Ever Turtle
|Mini Golf -Game
Of The Week! |
|Tip and Trick of
the Week |
|Many hotels in cities you’d
actually want to visit charge a higher rate, or don’t allow you to
reserve a room at all, for a single night’s stay on the weekend.
Next time you need a one-night outpost for illicit sex, kidnapping
victims, or crack deals of 4.5kg or more, reserve the room for both
Friday and Saturday nights but then call back right before the
deadline and cancel Friday’s reservation. Tell the representative
that something came up—‘your dog caught SARS’ is a keeper—and that
you have to cancel Friday but will be in on Saturday. Works every
time. contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
Q: submited by Rey
want sex at least three times a week but my girlfriend only wants it
once a week. She works out, has a great body, and doesn't seem
stressed, so what's her hang up?
First of all,
don't act pissed off. If you start fighting about sex, she's going
to put out even less. It's hard to know the true cause without
talking to her about it. One way to get her guard down is to tell
her that it bothers you that she doesn't want to make love more
often and--while looking her sensitively in the eyes--you want to
know if you're doing something wrong. (The old ?it's me, isn't it?,'
strategy always softens women up.) Then she'll either come clean
about what she wishes were different, or insist that she's the
problem, not you--at which point you can probe to find out what's
up. But you might have to accept that there is no problem. Maybe
that's just how much sex she wants to have, no matter how good the
sex is. In which case, you may have to decide if that's good enough
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys.
to view clip: right click flash and
choose "save target as" option. save the file "mustang.wmv" to your
desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "mustang.wmv"
icon on your desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:email@example.com?subject=stimes_video.
|A Palm Beach Post writer,
making the point that America's obesity problem is not limited
to humans, reported from the Boca Greens Animal Hospital (Boca
Raton, Fla.) in June that "Pumpkin," a 12-pound Chihuahua, was
up and moving well after her recent liposuction surgery.
However, the 12 ounces of fat she lost still left her among
South Florida's overweight pets, said to be two-thirds of
their population. As Pumpkin's owner was reminded, surgery is
not to be a substitute for sensible exercise and a modest
number of treats. [Palm Beach Post, 6-22-04]
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime
"Sometimes life really is a
"OK, I did what you could do,
now let's see you suck a dick."-Rodney
"Anything you can do, I
can do better"-jj
contributions or suggestions to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org?subject=stimes_caption