For The Week Of 07/15/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating he dictated, "...And in conclusion, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

SITES OF THE WEEK
This Post -Was First
99 Problems -Tumblr
Baseball Cap -Collection
SHARKNADO -Official Trailer
One-Star -Strip Club Reviews
Sole Gunner -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Facetune Touches Up Portraits with Powerful Tools & Filters

iPhone: You don't need to touch up your selfies in Photoshop before posting them to Facebook; Facetune is a powerful portrait editor that can tackle just about any issues with a portrait right on your phone. The idea is similar previously-mentioned Beauty Box, but Facetune is more powerful and intuitive. The app includes built-in brushes to whiten teeth, smooth wrinkles, enhance details, and more. You can even reshape parts of the photo to improve a smile, or un-furrow an eyebrow. At any time as you work, you can tap and hold a history button to see the original photo overlaid over your current view, giving you a great idea of how far you've come. My favorite aspect of Facetune was its approachable implementation of the clone stamp tool (called "Patch," here) to cover up blemishes and zits. You simply tap the point you want to fix, then tap a source point nearby. Then you can pinch to change the size of the effect, and rotate with two fingers to turn the stamp on its axis to make it look more natural.

Once you've fixed the photo itself, you can apply a number of flattering filters, and share it to various social services, or even other iOS photo editors. As far as photo apps go, it's incredibly well-suited to its purpose.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Lostboy2013

"Hi, I have the need to have my small and afraid to say, Erectile dysfunctional penis verbally and physically humiliated, Do you think this is harmful to my erections? I like it to be by a dominant female, a well endowed male or a Ts, also anyone able to maintain an erection. So more or less by anyone interested in humiliating me. I enjoy cbt and being forced to degrade myself. I guess im a bit of a pervert? Or just a fetishist."

A:

"It shouldn't be any harmful for you at all. It is as you say a fetish. As long as you manage to get erect, and your fetish doesn't harm your health in any way, just enjoy. :-) And if you think you are alone about it, don't. It's lots of other men wanting exactly the same as you. You just need to find the right person or situation for you. :-)"

-JustMe

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Pew-Pew


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MIDDLEBURY, CT -- A Middlebury police have arrested a woman accused of setting a fire on the bedroom while her husband was sleeping. The victim told police that he went to bed after getting into an argument with his wife, Jill L. Defusco, over pizza and woke up to find his side of the bed on fire, police said. He jumped up, put the fire out and called police at 10:24, police said. Police said Jill Defusco, 43, lit a greeting card on fire, which ignited a pair of shorts, but not the bed, police said.

The Waterbury Republican-American reports that Defusco told police she set an anniversary card on fire and said it was "symbolic" of their marriage after her husband threw jelly beans at her.

Officers took her into custody and said there was a protective order against Defusco from a previous domestic case. Defusco was charged with violation of a standing criminal protective order, reckless endangerment in the first degree and disorderly conduct. Defusco was in Superior Court in Waterbury on Thursday.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"She's great, she queefs along to his BPM." -Mack

Runner-up
"Nobody noticed how badly the DJ sucked that night." -Thom



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