For The Week Of 07/19/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

The only way for The Andersons to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted. 'An ambulance just drove by!' 'Looks like the Jones' have company,' he called out. 'Matt's riding a new bike!' 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!' 'Jason is on his skate board!' After a few moments he announced.... The Coopers are screwing!! Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're screwing?' 'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.'

SITES OF THE WEEK
Girls With Guns In Cinema And -Television!
25 Gourmet Sandwiches for -Guys!
Mel Gibson vs. Christian -Bale!
Grimm Brothers Brewhouse -Beer?
My Life Is -Average!
Helmet Bombers -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Top 9 Sex Tips for Men To Try

Tip #1: When a woman is about to orgasm, flick your tongue really fast along the length of her clitoris. Most men think of the clitoris as just that little bud under the hood, but it actually extends deep inside a woman's body. When you flick your tongue quickly along its shaft, you're not only covering more territory, you're also creating vibrations that help carry your stimulation beyond the tongue's reach.

Tip #2: Create circles around her breasts with your tongue or finger before coming in on a nipple landing. Like the ripples that circle out when you throw a rock into a pond, concentric zones of sensitivity radiate outward from a woman's hot spots. The area surrounding erogenous zones such as the nipples tends to be highly sensitive, too.

Tip #3: When you're having intercourse with your chick, right in mid-thrust, immediately stop what youre doing and slowly move inside her. Pick a thrust and stop, you can be inside or halfway out or just have the head of your penis touching her vaginal lips. Catch her eye, pause for a few seconds, and start again. For maximum effect, resume thrusting in slow motion and build back up to speed gradually. The key to keeping her aroused is to keep her guessing. Predictability really takes away from pleasure... not to mention that, in the beginning, too much of the same sensation makes a woman go numb.

Tip #4: When going down on your woman, hum a little tune and after youre done follow up with a very light finger tap. There's a reason vibrators are so popular: Anything that shakes, rattles, or rolls primes a passel of nerves for peak sensation. Relax your lips (think Mick Jagger) and hum a tune (think "Brown Sugar"). Bring the outermost portion of your kisser in contact with the outside of her clitoris (the hood that covers the little nub) and her vaginal lips. Move your mouth around her clitoris, very slowly. When she can't take any more, tap gently and in a circular motion with your fingertip on the swollen nub of the clitoris

Tip #5: Right after shes undressed, stand in front of her and hold your fingertips right above her skin and move your hands up and down her body. Positive anticipation is a huge part of what turns women on. By levitating your fingers above the skin so they brush those fine body hairs, you're creating a delightful shiver up her spine -- and making her feel as though you appreciate every inch of her body.

Tip #6: Women love when you lick their nipples, clit or any erogenous zone. After licking a small area then blow a little air on the wet patch. Remember blowing on soup to cool it off? The same principle governs the evaporation of liquid on skin: Blow it and it cools. Couple the cooling trick with a warm lick, and you've got a contrast that'll make her head spin. The further apart two sensations are on a spectrum of feeling -- hot/cold or hard/soft -- the more intense they'll feel done in succession

Tip #7: Women love it when guys lightly bite their nipples while touching them down below. There's something about the combination that drives them crazy with pleasure. Although the government hasn't yet ponied up cash for a study of this phenomenon, women and the sex experts who study them know there's often a direct sensory connection between the nipple and the pleasure nub. For many women, lightly biting or tweaking the nipples produces a tingle in their genitals, especially the clitoris

Tip #8: When you're in the missionary position, get up high enough so that your hips are above hers and enter her at a downward angle very, very slowly. Often pausing midthrust, and she'll have the most over-the-top orgasms. During typical thrusting, a woman's clitoris generally gets neglected. But when a man positions his hips above his partner's, he can thrust in such a way that his penile shaft remains in direct contact with her clitoris.

Tip #9: While going down on her also enlist your finger to provide firm pressure deep inside her. The combination will have her moaning loudly. Although it seems logical that the clitoris and the vagina would be hooked up on the same nerve network, they actually activate separate pleasure frequencies. That's why touching inside your partner's vagina with the fingers of one hand and her clitoris with the fingers of the other hand doubles the amount of pleasure she feels
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Melinda

Tina, Im in love with my best friend, theres only one thing getting in the way: Shes a lesbian. What do I do?

A:
Dear Josh, How about stop being a pussy and tell her! Jeeze, I dont get you guys sometimes. Why not be straight forward and be honest. Thats the best way to go. If she no longer wants to be your friend afterwards then she was never your best friend to begin with. Best friends are there through thick and thin. I sense like this is some type of Chasing Amy situation. Just be clear in the beginning of what you want out of therelationship. Good Luck Babe.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Super Mario Bros. Beat Box!
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MALTA, Idaho -- An Idaho man who authorities say had 25 Western rattlesnakes in a five-gallon bucket in his apartment has been issued two misdemeanor citations by the state's Department of Fish and Game. Officials say Terry Brian Teeter had as many as 32 snakes but he gave some away and ate two others. The 38-year-old Teeter says he was unaware a license is needed to hunt rattlesnakes in Idaho. He says he also didn't know that there's a limit of four rattlers a year. Teeter says he was trying to find a buyer for the snakes and had contacted a Utah research center which milks snakes for venom. Teeter received the citations in May that list possession, transport or shipment of wildlife. He has a sentencing scheduled on Friday in district court on a possible plea agreement.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime Tee! Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

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"And the Vagenas are wide open! Seamon is flooding through! GOOOOOOOOOAL!" -Sandy.
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"If I were a coach, I would do this on purpose and never admit it." -Mathyou.



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