For The Week Of 07/23/2007
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Chuck Norris -Get your facts straight!
Which side do you use? -Maybe none?!?
Great Marketing?? -I think not!
Bizarre People Exist -Need Proof?
Ever wonder -Convert it yourself!
Super Bros. Oldschool!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
HOW TO GET FREE SERVICES IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
A great way to get free services is to look for new store openings in your area, especially ones that offer services such as hair cuts, waxing, tanning, etc. These types of businesses will often offer their services free or at a substantially reduced cost to try to get word of mouth about their store going and/or use you as a demonstration of their work. If you live in a big city there are usually dozens of new stores opening every week so keep your eyes open. ;-)
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jim
My girlfriend lost her virginity with me and we have been having sex for the past month or so. The problem is that she says she has a feeling that makes her want to pee. She also says that there isnít much pleasure; she feels more pressure inside than anything else. During sex I make sure sheís always well lubricated, and even if I change positions she still gets this "pee feeling." Is this normal for girls who are just starting to have sex? Will this pressure feeling finally turn into pleasure?

A:
During sex, your penis is bumping up against her bladder, and this added pressure may cause her to feel a more urgent need to urinate than is actually necessary. The solution? Itís a good idea if she empties out her bladder before having sex. There may be an alternate reason for her bladder discomfort, however: female ejaculation. Itís not an urban legend; about 10% of women actually ejaculate a clear fluid from the urethra while they are sexually stimulated. This liquid isnít urine; itís actually very close in composition to the fluid produced by the prostate gland in men. If, indeed, it does turn out to be a case of female ejaculation for your girlfriend, tell her to relax and learn to enjoy it. Perhaps she isnít feeling pleasure because she is stressed about having an ďaccidentĒ during sex. If thatís the case, she needs to be reassured that she doesnít need to urinate and that this sensation is simply how she experiences intercourse.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


The Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime

 
 


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Family Searches Feces Of Cash-Eating Dog
MENOMONIE, Wis., Jul. 19, 2007
(AP) Debbie Hulleman's dog Pepper has been known to gnaw on lipstick, munch on shampoo bottles and chew on toothpaste. But Pepper got Hulleman into a real mess after gobbling nearly $750."This is probably the worst," Hulleman said Thursday, recalling how she poked through vomit and dog piles left in the yard to recover the cash.Hulleman had asked her mother in Oakdale, Minn., to take care of Pepper and Zach, the family's other dog last month while she and husband went on vacation. Pepper, an 8-year-old black Labrador-German shorthair, got into a purse belonging to her mother's friend and chewed the cash from an envelope. Hulleman's mother recovered some of the money that Pepper spit out, thinking she had it all. But when Hulleman returned from the trip and went to clean up her dogs' mess outside, she noticed a $50 bill hanging from one pile. The chore of sorting through dog feces netted about $400, the 50-year-old dog lover said. Between that and other bills that Pepper had either vomited or simply chewed on, the family recovered $647. "We have a $100 bill that can't be recovered because you need three-fourths of a bill and it is only half of a bill," Hulleman said. The family swapped the soiled money for fresh currency at a bank. "It wasn't that bad. I soaked it and strained it and rinsed it. I just kept rinsing it and rinsing it. I had rubber gloves on of course," Hulleman said. "Everyone said, 'I can't believe you did that.' Well, for $400, yeah, I would do that," she said.
 
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"This hotel's valet service sucks!"-Arthur
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"Now I'm sure I flooded the carbeurator"-Melle
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