For The Week Of 07/23/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

One Friday, a man comes home from his job and says to his wife, "honey, you've got no say in this. I've had a rough week and tomorrow morning you, me and the dog are going fishing. It's the one thing that I need to unwind." The wife, not a particularly big fan of fishing, but still wanting to support her husband begrudgingly agrees. The next morning comes and at 4:30, the man wakes his wife up and asks her to start packing a lunch for the trip. She begins to do so while he packs up the boat and the truck, but quickly realizes this is not how she wants to spend her Saturday morning. She approaches her husband and asks if he'll let her sit this trip out. To this he replies, "well, honey, there's only three ways I can see this working out. Either we go fishing, you suck my dick, or you let me fuck you in the ass." His wife thinks about her options for a moment and reluctantly unbuttons his trowsers. But, once she starts fellating him, she is immediately greeted by a horrible taste in her mouth. She says to him, "BLARGHHH, honey! What the fuck?!?! Why does your dick taste like shit?!?!" To this he replies, "the dog didn't want to go either."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Mr. Wizard's -A Dick!
We Love -Michelle Jenneke!
Guns, Money -Hip-Hop!
Dinosaurs... -Dinosaurs!
Neo Hides -From Lumbergh!
IWBTD -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
RightInBox Notifies You When An Email You Sent Is Read

Firefox/Chrome: RightInbox is an awesome tool for boosting Gmail's capabilities. The extension when it first launched was designed to schedule email for sending later, but RightInbox since then has added even more useful features: email tracking, link click tracking, and email reminders. Once you connect the add-on to your Gmail account, you'll find new buttons in Gmail for scheduling an email to be sent later, tracking an email you compose, and adding reminders to an email. With the tracking, you don't have to rely on read receipts. RightInbox sends you an email telling you when the recipient opened your message and if any links in your email were clicked. It'll even tell you where the person was when your email was opened. The email reminder feature lets you add a handy reminder at a specific time or if you don't get a response to your email. You can also set the email to go to the top of your inbox. With these new features and the send later feature, RightInbox really improves how you can work with Gmail. (Of course, the Sparrow development team working on Gmail will probably enhance Gmail quite a bit too.) Like similar service Boomerang, RightInbox is freemium: The free plan limits you to 10 emails a month for each feature, while the unlimited plan is $4.95 a month or $39 a year.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Titus

Both my girlfriend and I are virgins, and we have been together for the past 3 years. When we're intimate, we usually just do handjobs. She occasionally gives me blowjobs but she doesn't like it. I like going down on her, but she isn't so fond of that idea either. She usually stops me after the first lick, saying she doesn't like the tongue sensation. For the past 1.5 years, we've been trying vaginal sex, but for some reason, I just cannot fully insert with her screaming in pain. She's lubricated enough, and that I've tried to insert my middle finger in her without problems/pain. I really want to get an advice from you, because I think she's too embarrassed to go to the gyno about this. HELP!

A:
Has she ever used a dildo? Has she seen her OB/GYN to take a look down there to see if there are issues with her vagina? Last but not least, you both need to communicate prior to entry.
Take it slow--don't concentrate, just let it happen. It seems that she's thinking too much about the upcoming act and tightening up. Good luck in any case.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Terminator Woman


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, FL -- A shoeless thief who broke into a Florida Pizza Hut was undoubtedly cheesed off when he couldn't open the cash register, so he improvised -- by stealing two cases of mozzarella instead. The mozzarella heist took place June 9 in Altamonte Springs, Fla. when the suspect broke into Pizza Hut around 2 a.m. in hopes of getting cash, The Orlando Sentinel reported. "[He] took a crow bar and smashed out the front window of the Pizza Hut. He immediately took the cash register and tossed it to the ground, and when it didn't open, he went to the back, grabbed two boxes of mozzarella cheese and left," Altamonte Springs Police officer Robert Pelton told WESH-TV.

The thief is described as a white male around 6 feet tall, between 180 and 200 pounds, wearing tan cargo shorts, a light blue shirt and a black baseball cap, but not any shoes, according to CentralFloridaNews.com. Police are unsure how much the missing cheese is worth, but, thankfully, no pepperoni were harmed in the heist.

So far, officials have found no connection between the cheese thief and the Romanian crooks who allegedly stole 9.5 tons of Spanish garlic last month, other than the fact that both items are great on pizza.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

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Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



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Winner
"Portal Dog ends up in an unlikely place." -Nate

Runner-up
"What, no jumping through fire rings? Yawn." -Stephan



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