For The Week Of 07/25/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King of Beers,’ a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it. The guy from Molson sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Molson’s?” The Molson president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Computer -How One Works!
AIM -Fight
My Fingers -Have Fingers
Breasts Implants-Glowing
Antaquarium -Amazing
Cow Curling -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Hotels
When checking into a room at a fancy hotel, immediately rumple the bedspread, making it look as if it wasn’t made. If you have a few empty beer cans, scatter those around the room, too. Then call reception and complain that your room is a mess. Usually, there is no communication between the front desk and housekeeping, so you should get a free day or an upgrade to a better room.


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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Ted
My girlfriend and I are both committed virgins, but we both enjoy heavy petting and fooling around. I would like some tips on thigh fucking, how to bring it up to her, and the best positions.
A:

Thigh fucking is a great alternative to full-on intercourse. For those who aren’t familiar with it, this is when your partner squeezes her legs together and you insert your penis between her thighs and thrust, brushing parallel past her vulva and vagina rather than towards it. The friction and squeezing can get both partners off. One drawback of thigh fucking, for those who want to avoid penetration, is that it is so tantalizing close to the act of full consummation. Pulling it off without going all the way requires a lot of willpower, but I’ll leave it to you and your girlfriend to handle that. Missionary position (woman on the bottom, man on top) can work for thigh fucking, but it isn’t the most comfortable, as it requires the man to sort of straddle the woman’s closed legs. A side-by-side position might work better, where you each lay on your sides, either facing each other or spooning, so you press into her from behind. If you are about the same height, a standing position may work, with her leaning against a wall or counter. If you’re feeling wild, you might try a variation of doggy style, either with her on hands and knees, or laying face down with a pillow under her tummy to elevate her butt. To get the most out of thigh fucking, have her cross her ankles to get the maximum pressure between her thighs. Using a water-based lube will make things slipperier and enhance the experience for both of you. Just slather some on your cock and/or on the insides of her thighs. While you’re thigh fucking her, use the shaft and head of your penis to brush against her pubic hair, vulva, and clitoris. Let her grind against you. Finally, this might seem unnecessary, but wear a condom while thigh fucking (this means you definitely need to use some lube). Even though you’re not penetrating her, your cock will be getting very, very close to her vagina. Because you’re young and your sperm are plentiful and strong swimmers, if your semen or even your precum gets into the opening of her vagina, there is a chance that one of the little guys will score a home run and knock her up. It’s a long shot, but better safe than sorry. I know that some people might argue that wearing a condom while thigh fucking might make it more tempting for you to take the next step to full insertion. But hey, that temptation is there anyway, so if you’re going to succumb to it, you might as well prevent an unwanted pregnancy. As to how to bring up thigh fucking with your girlfriend…I assume you guys have already gotten pretty far into each other’s pants by now. Tell your girlfriend there’s a way for you to fool around that’s really close to having sex, but safe and doesn’t involve any penetration, and it’s something that you’ll both enjoy. You guys probably dry hump (rubbing against) each other anyway, so say it’s like that but much better. In fact, while you’re dry humping might be a good time to bring it up.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


U DA MAN
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "bicycle" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "bicycle" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
FOOTLOOSE actor Kevin Bacon is paranoid whenever his dog sees him naked - because he thinks it will bite his genitals. The star's wife, Kyra Sedgwick, has told US talk show host Jay Leno about Kevin's fear. The couple recently adopted a new pet - Pauly - and are loving the dog-owning experience. Kyra said: "Pauly loves to catch frisbees and catch balls and he loves rubber chew toys. And Kevin, knowing this, whenever he's walking around naked, always says, 'This is not a rubber chew toy,' for fear that the dog might get confused. "I've always thought, 'Honey, what is it with boys and that?' They think everyone wants it!
 
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"Super Duper Trooper Pooper" -Chris Runners-up
"r2d2's brother, r2dpoo"-Sherri
"Who does number 2 work for?" -Tk



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