For The Week Of 07/26/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you!” The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered. Aitn’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before. The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.

SITES OF THE WEEK
Famous Movie Quotes In Proper -English!
What's Your -Addiction!
Rules for -Gentlemen!
16 Facts about -Huge Hefner!
Douchebag -Wanted!
Draw My Thing -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How to improve your chances of scoring online

Tip #1: I've seen you men shop. You go into a store with a goal in mind, obtain said goal, pay, and are out of there. The same principles absolutely do not apply to online sex. A classic faux pas that kills your chances of having cyber sex with a normal girl (i.e. a girl who isn't in the sex industry or totally out of her freaking mind) is starting with the old cliché: "What are you wearing?" More brazen foibles include lovely openers such as: "What bra-size are you?" and "Do you have a nice ass?" You know what I'm thinking when you ask me questions like that? He doesn't give one lick about me, and I might as well be a blow-up doll. Subtle sexual innuendo is the foreplay of cyber sex. Rash entry into sex talk crosses the fine line between a real sexual connection and just plain self gratification.

Tip #2: There's nothing worse than being badgered to use my web cam. The whole "can I see it?" vibe is very Girls Gone Wild. And guess what? An oversexed blond co-ed at Mardi gras does not fall into any category "normal girls" identify with. Unless she's kinky like that, she won't want to feel like an objectified exhibitionist. So how do you make the giant leap to video? Go first. Put yourself on web cam. She'll follow your lead if she's game.

Tip #3: You don't want this stuff sitting in your chat history and neither does she. Take it off the record. Click here to find out how.

Tip #4: Sure, there is the voyeuristic thrill of getting a glimpse into a total stranger's sex life, but if that were all you were after, you could have just gone with a spot of porno and called it a day. Let's face it, the impulse to have cyber sex actually comes from the part of us that craves human interaction with a real person. But you aren't exactly going to be able to sweep her off her feet with your physicality. Online sex favors the intellectual, thoughtful side of you. Go with a subtle and self-deprecating humor. This will create the sense of intimacy that a good, long kiss would in real life.

Tip #5: First, obviously you don't want to be having cyber sex in the office, but if you do, avoid at all costs the type of girl who will take your dirty laundry and dump it all over your place of work. How do you know she'll be discrete? All you have as any sort of real insurance against your online sexual habits being broadcast is your mutually ensured destruction. What do I mean by this? Take Tiger Woods for example. If Tiger had done it with, say, Hillary Clinton, he wouldn't be in the deep trouble he's in now. Why? Hillary would have had even more to lose and very little to gain from a sex scandal. Scaling it back a bit, let's say you're a mid-level associate at a law firm. Well, if she's, say, a local business owner with some traction in the local Catholic community, she's not going to implicate herself by blabbing about you. There you have it: mutually ensured destruction. Pick a woman who has as much, if not more, to lose by admitting to her online "hobbies" and you're golden.

Tip #6: I've seen enough episodes of To Catch a Predator to know that there are some weird people out there taking advantage of their online anonymity to do some terrible things. Be careful about getting roped in to something weird. We women can be pretty devious creatures. At the first sign of a red flag, disengage.

Tip #7: Whether or not they fit into your fantasy with this girl, assurances like, "You're not alone. I will always listen. I'll be there for you," should not be made if you are not going to follow-up on them. Why? From personal experience, I know that it hurts a surprising amount to realize all that words of support and were just a load of crap (in my case my online playmate had intimated that he would help me through the death of my cat). Remember that real life consequences and feelings are attached to your online communications.

Tip #8: After cyber sex, confessional narratives are the equivalent of post-coital cuddling. The freedom to tell the painful, complete, and unblinking truth is one of the greatest advantages the semi-anonymity of cyber sex affords you, so get some of that heavy stuff off your chest. You'd be surprised how great it feels.

Tip #9: Emoticons are the Herpes of Cyber Sex, Enough said. Sex tips taken from: Mens Health
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Katrin

Tina, Is there a secret to being awesome at oral sex? I'm not sure if I'm doing it well, and I'm not about to discuss my technique with my friends.

A:
Dear K, I love when women come on here and ask me quetions. It means women read the stimes! Awesome. Ok so, you want to be great at giving head? Not a problem. The key to blowing your mans mind is simple. Be Eager To Do It! Dont look so mundane when doing it, dont sigh when he asks you for a blowjob, because Im sure he doesnt sigh and roll his eyes when he eats your pussy. Let him know that you love going down on him and that you love to please him. I honestly don't see why women hate sucking cock so much. I think its great! But thats just me. I get pleasure out of seeing him, shake, moan, tilt his head back and what not. Seeing him enjoy himself gets me off. Also, don't wait till he asks you. Just do it. Out of the blue. When he comes home from work and youre home before him, grab his suitcase out of his hand, put him against the wall and drop to your knees. That will always make him feel wanted and hell love you for it even more! Good Luck Babe.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Amazing Parrot Does 20 Tricks in 2 Minutes!
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A Pasadena, Calif. woman was arrested after she allegedly tried to run over a man with her car and then threw a bag of urine at police officers. Thirty-nine-year-old Monica Avila was jailed Thursday on suspicion of attempted murder, reports the Pasadena Star News. Police say it all started the night before when the brother of Avila's ex-boyfriend saw her trespassing on his property. He tried to talk to her but she reportedly tried to hit him with her car before driving off. When police pulled over Avila a short time later she took out her urostomy bag and threw it at the three arresting officers who were splashed with its contents.
 
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