For The Week Of 07/28/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
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JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man is walking through the mall with his teen-age son. The son is tossing a quarter up in the air and catching it between his teeth. On one such attempt, the boy fails to clamp down with his teeth and ends up getting the quarter lodged in his throat. As the boy begins to choke and wheeze the father panicks and starts yelling for help. Not to far from the action is a man sitting at a coffee shop reading a paper and drinking his coffee, when he hears the fathers distressed cries he patiently puts down his coffee and folds his paper, he then walks slowly over to the boy and grabs him by the balls and squeezes the shit out of them. The boy coughs up the quarter and the man catches it in his hand and proceeds to walk away with it, sitting back down to his coffee. The amazed father runs over and says “Thank You Sir, you saved my son’s life, are you a Doctor?” “No” the man replies, “I work for the IRS.”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Keyboard Porn -WTF.
Gridlocked -Mental Prowess!
Zippo Tricks! -Cool!
Find A Grave -Intresting!
Beer For The Homeless -Tax Deductible!
Maze Maker -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....SuperMarkets!

Tired of getting kicked around by snooty supermarkets that insist you pay full price for your purchases? Here’s a nifty way to save pennies while bulking up your pantry. Go to the self-checkout scanners and weigh all of your produce. When the machine prompts you to indicate which item you are buying, select the cheapest one—usually a type of fruit. One time, I bought 16 pounds of “bananas.” Instead of the grapes being grapes at three bucks a pound, they were bananas at 39 cents a pound! So it’s immoral, even illegal—I think Big Grape can weather the hit.

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ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submited by Racheal
How do I get my new boyfriend to go down on me if he doesn't offer? He loves when I do it to him. I don't want to sound critical, but I need oral sex to climax.

A:
Giving oral sex is an incredibly intimate act. It's possible that your new guy is waiting till he feels more comfortable with you before he heads down south. Or perhaps he's still not sure what you like. Since he can't read your mind, it's up to you to clue him in. As long as you ask for what you want -- and need -- in a non-accusatory way, you're not being critical; you're just taking control of your pleasure. Most guys welcome feedback. Knowing they're getting you off gets them off, too. Next time he's teasing your belly with licks and kisses, tell him, in your most sensuous voice, how amazing it would feel if he did that to you below the belt. If he still isn't down with the deed, he may just have a case of performance anxiety. Give him a tantalizing tutorial by playing a sexy game of show and tell. Say something like, "This is the way I like to be licked. Wanna try?" Another possible problem: While most men love the scent of a woman, some are a little squeamish about putting their mouths on her private parts. Try suggesting a shower for two before hitting the sack and see if that makes him more prone to giving you the kind of loving you crave. Hopefully, one of these will work. But, if you're still unsuccessful in your, and you truly can only climax from oral stimulation, you're going to have to decide if a relationship with this guy is worth sacrificing your sexual satisfaction. Remember, there are lots of men who will not only go down on you without having to ask for it, but who will absolutely relish doing it.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Slam Dunk!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "dunk.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "dunk.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
On the heels of a journal report on increased use since 1999 of posthumous sperm extraction (so the family line can be continued even after the father passes away) came a June report than an Israeli researcher had grown maturing ovarian tissue in the lab after extracting it from aborted fetuses. If Dr. Tal Biron-Shenton's work eventually makes way for fully developed eggs, it would mean that a baby could be born even though her mother never was. [Fertility and Sterility (via South Florida Sun-Sentinel), 6-23-03] [BBC News, 7-1-03
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"you want the hole beard shaved, I want the whole beaver shaved."-Dick
Runners-up
"Berry Berry quite contrary shave the rest it's to damn hairy"-William
"What do you mean I missed a spot?"-Rack



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