For The Week Of 07/29/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man is stopped in heavy traffic in Los Angeles and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. We’re not even moving." Noticing a police officer walking down the highway between the cars, the man rolls down his window and says, "Excuse me, officer…what’s the holdup?" "It’s O.J. Simpson," says the cop. "He’s all depressed. He’s lying down in the middle of the highway and threatening to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire, because he doesn’t have $8.5 million dollars for the Goldmans. I’m walking around taking up a collection for him." The man says, "A collection, huh? How much have you got so far?" "So far…ten gallons."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Pick Up Lines -Get You Some Babes.
Anti-Masturbation Equipment -What The Fuck!
Gaping Maw -Learn To Get Drugs In Sign Language!
Lego Workers -Taught To Build A Computer!
BattleShip -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat.... College TextBook Industry!
Think college bookstores charge outrageous amounts for textbooks? Find out what texts are required for each class (preferably a month or so in advance), then call the publisher and tell them you’re a professor and would like to review their book for possible use in class. This works best if you can have the books sent to a campus address. When it works, you get not only free books, but also the teacher editions, with supplemental material. This won’t work with all publishers, but at $100 a book, it’s worth a college try.
K. Morehead Dayton, Oh

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ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Niki

hi jd! i was hoping you might be able to help me on this one. i'm 20 and still a virgin. the problem is that i'm ready to have sex with my boyfriend right now but i've told him that i'm not a virgin. is he going to be able to tell that i am a virgin? by the way, i love your site and visit almost everyday!

A:
first off, congrats on getting ready to experience one of life's greatest pleasures! sex really is a great thing when done responsively and even when it is not! ;-) seriously though, as you can imagine sex is a very intimate thing and something that you might not want to start off on a false pretense with. i really think being honest is the way to go on this one. who knows, maybe he doesn't have much experience either and you can learn together. if you are dead set on not telling him though there is a good chance there will be a number of signs that show you are a virgin. the most obvious is bleeding. now just because a girl bleeds does not mean she is a virgin but if there is a good amount of bleeding and it is obviously painful for you to have sex your boyfriend will probably suspect that you are a virgin (unless of course he is packing 14 inches and is used to such things). the one thing you can bank on is that there really is no way he will REALLY be able to know. so if you want to keep him in the dark about it just tell him you got your period or something and he will never think twice about it. in fact he will probably be snoring before he can put two and two together anyways. ;-)

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Midget Matador!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "mmr02.asf" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "mmr02.asf" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Surgeons have managed to stitch back a Moroccan boy's penis after it was bitten off by a donkey, the official MAP news agency reported Thursday. Professor Mouaad Mounir, chief urologist at Ibnou Toufail hospital in the southern city of Marrakesh, was quoted as saying the operation on the seven-year-old boy was carried out last week. He said the operation had taken 45 minutes and was successful. MAP did not say how the donkey managed to bite off the boy's penis. A source at the hospital confirmed the agency's report, but declined to give further details. Donkeys in Morocco are used for laborious work on farms and garbage collection and are often subject to harsh treatment.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Give Me Liberty or Give Me Sex!"-David
Runners-up
"Ask not what your country can do for you but how your country can do you" -Ownbe
"Uhh.. Mr. President, when we talked about screwing liberty in this country... that isn't what we meant." -Mike



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