| JOKE OF THE
WEEK |
|
A man is stopped in heavy traffic in Los
Angeles and thinks, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. We’re
not even moving." Noticing a police officer walking down the highway
between the cars, the man rolls down his window and says, "Excuse
me, officer…what’s the holdup?" "It’s O.J. Simpson," says the cop.
"He’s all depressed. He’s lying down in the middle of the highway
and threatening to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on
fire, because he doesn’t have $8.5 million dollars for the Goldmans.
I’m walking around taking up a collection for him." The man says, "A
collection, huh? How much have you got so far?" "So far…ten
gallons." |
| SITES OF THE
WEEK |
| Pick Up Lines
-Get You Some Babes. |
| Anti-Masturbation
Equipment -What The Fuck!
|
| Gaping Maw -Learn To Get Drugs
In Sign Language! |
| Lego Workers
-Taught To Build A Computer!
|
| BattleShip
-Game Of The Week! |
| Tip and Trick of
the Week |
| Cheat.... College
TextBook Industry!
|
Think college bookstores
charge outrageous amounts for textbooks? Find out what texts are
required for each class (preferably a month or so in advance), then
call the publisher and tell them you’re a professor and would like
to review their book for possible use in class. This works best if
you can have the books sent to a campus address. When it works, you
get not only free books, but also the teacher editions, with
supplemental material. This won’t work with all publishers, but at
$100 a book, it’s worth a college try.
K. Morehead Dayton, Oh
contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
|
|
ASK DOCTOR
JD |
|
Q: submitted by
Niki
hi jd! i was hoping you might be able to help me on
this one. i'm 20 and still a virgin. the problem is that i'm ready
to have sex with my boyfriend right now but i've told him that i'm
not a virgin. is he going to be able to tell that i am a virgin? by
the way, i love your site and visit almost everyday! |
|
A:
first off, congrats on
getting ready to experience one of life's greatest pleasures! sex
really is a great thing when done responsively and even when it is
not! ;-) seriously though, as you can imagine sex is a very intimate
thing and something that you might not want to start off on a false
pretense with. i really think being honest is the way to go on this
one. who knows, maybe he doesn't have much experience either and you
can learn together. if you are dead set on not telling him though
there is a good chance there will be a number of signs that show you
are a virgin. the most obvious is bleeding. now just because a girl
bleeds does not mean she is a virgin but if there is a good amount
of bleeding and it is obviously painful for you to have sex your
boyfriend will probably suspect that you are a virgin (unless of
course he is packing 14 inches and is used to such things). the one
thing you can bank on is that there really is no way he will REALLY
be able to know. so if you want to keep him in the dark about it
just tell him you got your period or something and he will never
think twice about it. in fact he will probably be snoring before he
can put two and two together anyways. ;-)
-JD |
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|
CLIP OF THE WEEK |
|
This is our special section that will bring you
a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or
sent in by you guys. |
|
Midget Matador!
|
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| |
to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save
target as" option. save the file "mmr02.asf" to your desktop. once
downloaded simply double click the new "mmr02.asf" icon on your
desktop to watch the movie.
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
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| STRANGE
NEWS HEADLINES |
| Surgeons have managed to
stitch back a Moroccan boy's penis after it was bitten off by
a donkey, the official MAP news agency reported Thursday.
Professor Mouaad Mounir, chief urologist at Ibnou Toufail
hospital in the southern city of Marrakesh, was quoted as
saying the operation on the seven-year-old boy was carried out
last week. He said the operation had taken 45 minutes and was
successful. MAP did not say how the donkey managed to bite off
the boy's penis. A source at the hospital confirmed the
agency's report, but declined to give further details. Donkeys
in Morocco are used for laborious work on farms and garbage
collection and are often subject to harsh treatment.
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BEAT THE
CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF! |
This is your chance to
make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits
"this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime
T!
This Weeks
Last Weeks
Winner
"Give Me Liberty or Give Me
Sex!"-David
Runners-up
"Ask not what your country can
do for you but how your country can do you" -Ownbe
"Uhh.. Mr.
President, when we talked about screwing liberty in this country...
that isn't what we meant." -Mike
contributions or
suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_caption
| |
