For The Week Of 07/30/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime t-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A couple are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary, that evening the husband says, "honey, all these years and you've never given me a blow job, could you do that for just tonight?", the wife is repulsed and replies, "no, you will think me dirty and not respect me if I do that!" Years go by and the otherwise happy couple celebrate their 25th anniversary, again the husband asks for a blowjob and is again met with the same lack of respect and the issue of him thinking her to be dirty if she does this for him. On the occasion of their 50th anniversary their kids send them to Hawaii as a gift, the first night there the old man decides to once again ask his dear wife for oral pleasure. The mans wife finally decides to give in as long as he will respect her afterwards and not think her to be dirty later, agreeing upon the terms, finally the act commences, just as she finishes the phone rings, it is the kids wanting to know how things are going, the wife asks "who is it?", he replies..."It's for you, you filthy cocksucker!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Play Hooky at Work - Best Sick note ever
Cooking with Bush - Get great recipes with Jenna
Daytona 100! - Lawn Mower Races!
Need Help -Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Penis - Recognize Yours
TIPS & TRICKS
Free Stuff
Love Hooter Wings, Love Hooters waitress even more! Next time at Hooters, ask to see the manager. Ask the manager for a business card so you can tell the genral manager on the great job he is doing... Each Business card is a coupon for free wings. Enjoy and do ask the server if she was wants your hot sauce!
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Brian

Alrighty, so there is this new chick at work...f*king AMAZING!! Tight little ass, perky breasts, long gorgeous legs, and the most eccentric peronality I have ever seen. All she ever talks about is how she loves sex and how much her boyfriend doesn't. You could probably imagine how much I want to bang the shit out of her, however two things; her boyfriend, and my girlfriend hundreds of miles away. I can either spend the summer spankin' it everyday or giving this hottie what she really wants, what should I do?

A:
the age old question of whether or not to cheat on a girlfriend. let me just start out by giving a little snippet of my philosophy on life. i do not follow any arbitrary rules on life like whacking off is bad, cussing is wrong, drugs are bad, etc.. i mean who the fuck made these stupid rules? nobody that had any fun, thatís for sure! i come from a science/math background (my major was chemical engineering) and i learned that the real answers to life are usually VERY simple. for example the relationship between mass an energy is simply e=mc^2 (energy equals mass times the speed of light squared). think of things as complex as nuclear power...the reason it is so powerful is because of that little equation. so i am pretty sure the answers to life would not be some obscure list that some people came up with 1000's of years ago. instead i think it as simple and elegant as - do anything you please in life..as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else, including yourself. what this ends up being is karma...be an asshole and your life will pretty much be miserable, be a nice person and good things will happen to you. so, what does this have to do with the question you asked...everything! i have never cheated on a girlfriend in my life...the reason? i do not deny my urges...if i feel i really need to be with someone else then i probably shouldn't be in a relationship anymore. i'm not saying as soon as you have a thought about another women you should break up...but if you can not stop thinking about being with other women you probably are not with the right one. now your situation is unique...you are 100s of miles away from each other and you are getting horny as hell. totally understandable man! so if whacking off is not getting you through this and you need to bang this girl you need to break up with your girl. you can not have her trying to stay faithful and you checking this girls oil with your dip stick every night. it is not fair to her and it is not fair to you. cheat on her and you will regret it if she means a lot to you. so how good is the porn material in your area and how much do you like/love your girlfriend. answer these two questions and you will have your answer. if you go with the porn/faithful option may i suggest some of the rocco goes to brazil series...excellent material

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Bike Tricks?!?!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "stop.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "stop.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Knowing When To Stop Is The Trick!


Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In May, Randy Lunsford announced he would appeal a Raleigh, N.C., judge's decision shutting him out of the estate of his 18-year-old daughter, who died tragically in 1999 but whose estate won a $100,000 wrongful death lawsuit. Court records show that Lunsford moved away from the mother around the time the daughter was born, never came back, and never paid a penny in child support. Lunsford said, however, that he felt obligated to claim "his" share of his daughter's estate because he was fighting for all the imperfect parents out there. His argument: Since the daughter had turned 18 shortly before she was killed, the "abandoned child" rule freezing him out should not apply.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. if you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"The French division of the ally forces launches it's attack on Iraq!!!" --Robbie
Runnerups
"Much like his father Bruce, little Tommy was a real shit head." - Tre
"First my priest, now this fuck." gerry

Archived Issues: 06-18-2001 | 06-25-2001 | 07-02-2001 | 07-09-2001 | 07-16-2001| 07-23-2001


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