For The Week Of 07/30/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Three women die and make it up to heaven. St Peter's at the gates and tells them there's only one rule in Heaven: don't step on the ducks. The three women agree and are allowed through the gates. They notice there are ducks everywhere and realize that not stepping on ducks is going to be hard. They begin to make their way when the first lady steps on a duck. St Peter walks up to her and without saying a word chains her up to the ugliest man in Heaven. The other two women decide to leave the first behind and go on their way. Soon, the second woman steps on a duck. St Peter walks up to her and without saying a word, chains her to the second ugliest man in Heaven. The third woman is now really concerned and tries really hard not to step on any ducks. Years pass and the third woman is still doing splendidly. One day, St Peter walks up to her without saying a word and chains her to the most handsome man in all of Heaven. The woman figures she is being rewarded in paradise for following the rules and asks the man what she did to deserve this? The man replies, "Look lady, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Pizza -On Face!
You -Chose Wrong!
Yesterday -Shipping!
Simpsons -Ralphisms!
GIFs Of -Calvin & Hobbes!
Skywire 2 -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Password Pad is a Writing App That Syncs a Mac & iPhone

Mac/iOS: Sometimes you might want to keep important data with you on your iPhone, but you don't want to just leave it open for everyone to see. Password Pad is a writing app for Mac and iPhone (and Java) that allows you to encrypt your cloud-synced text with either XOR encryption or Triple DES encryption. Password Pad is all about security. When you write up text, you give it a password, and Password Pad encrypts your text. From there, you can share between devices through email, iCloud, Dropbox, or iTunes Sharing. If you want to keep sensitive data on your phone that you can work on with your Mac as well, it's a great option.

As an actual writing app it's not that different from something like TextEdit, so it also works great for anyone looking for a distraction-free writing environment. Password Pad comes in two flavors on the Mac, the full version, which supports the very secure Triple DES encryption is $4.99.
The Lite version is free, but can only handle XOR encryption.
The iPhone version is $1.99 and supports both. Head over to the Password Pad homepage for a rundown of how the security works links to the software.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Smithy

What's the best suggestion for massage oils and/or lubricants?

A:
You can find many lubricants right at home: saliva, KY Jelly, etc. Stick to water-based lubricants for easier clean-up and more compatibility with contraception.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Epic Basketball Shot


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ORLANDO, FL -- Police say someone stole 500 gallons of gasoline from a local convenience store, but they don't know how. The theft was reported Thursday, but police suspect the crime took place sometime Wednesday between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m. Someone took an unknown tool and damaged pump No. 8 at the Race Trac on West Sand Lake Road in Orlando. The tool did little damage to the pump. "Apparently, this damage was so minute and so well done that no one noticed it," said Sgt. Vince Ogburn, with the Orlando Police Department. "Our detectives are going out there to review video to see if they can go back that few days-worth to find suspects or anybody acting peculiar near that pump," he said. Anyone with information is asked to call Orlando police.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

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Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"A wild bologna pony appears!" -Stephan

Runner-up
"Bucking bronco replaced by Fucking Honcho." -Freddie



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