For The Week Of 08/01/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Cop. Being a typical lawyer, he thinks he is smarter than the Cop so he decides to have some fun at the Cop’s expense.

Cop says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Cop says, "Exactly! License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Cop says, "The difference is the law says you have to come to a full and complete stop. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "I’ll make you a deal. If you can show me the legal difference between slowdown and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not you let me go and no ticket."

Cop says, "Certainly. Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the Cop takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the Lawyer. All the while, the Cop kept saying...

"DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Fat Man Walking -Inspirational!
Boobies In Manhattan -Sexy
Word Photo -Eye Candy
Droogle-Liquor Google
Truck Vs. Hurricane -Amazing
Stackapolis -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Blue Laws
If you are unfortunate enough to live in an area that doesn't allow beer sales on Sundays and you've got a hankerin' for hops, try switching the bottles from a six-pack of suds with a package of root beer. They'll simply scan the carton, and you'll not only get your beer, but you'll get it at a root beer discount!


contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Gemmy
Whenever I'm fooling around with anybody, I can't get wet. It doesn't matter how horny I am, it just doesn't happen. I would love to solve this, whether it be a mental block or a downstairs problem. Please help!
A:

If you’re able to get wet when you’re masturbating by yourself, it would seem like the problem is psychological. The next time you’re messing around with someone, check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. Do you feel self-conscious, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your body? These feelings are all normal, but you need to get past them to fully enjoy a sexual encounter. If you feel like you’re holding back, let go. Relax, try to concentrate on your physical sensations, especially “down there”, breathe deeply and breathe into your pelvis. Try to push your breath down toward your vagina when you inhale. This can relax and open up the muscles and blood circulation to your genital area, and may start the lubrication flowing. If you just don’t get wet, ever, the problem may be physical. It could be caused by a hormonal imbalance or a problem with the ducts or glands in the vagina that produce vaginal fluid and lubrication. Don’t be shy about asking your doctor or gynecologist about it. If it turns out that you are unable to produce lubrication for a physical reason, don’t worry – there are plenty of water-based lubes that can help you get wet.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Quarters king
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "quarters.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "quarters.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Female hormones found in tap water and food may be contributing to the development of breasts on male Britons, doctors said. The number of male breast reduction surgeries in British clinics has doubled in the past year, said the Sunday Times of London Online. Male breast growth is a medical condition called gynecomastia, and is linked to traces of the contraceptive pill in water and other food hormones used in farm animals. Gynecomastia causes breasts that are not due to fat. They resemble female breasts in makeup and tissue content, doctors say. Yanos Alexandrides, a London plastic surgeon, has been doing roughly four times the male breast reduction surgeries as he did in 2001, and believes processed fast food in particular is to blame.
 
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"Check it out, I'm doin' the robot, bitches!!"-Pothead Runners-up
"Doma Origoto Mister Reboto"-Dante
"Not surprisingly, Jon was never allowed in his brother's room again?" -Jamey



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