For The Week Of 08/01/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A magician worked on a cruise ship, and the audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days... On the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer: "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
FC St. Pauli -Skull Generator!
Looking Like -Other People!
There Are Always -People Who!
A Tumblr About -Text in Space!
Very Sexy -Planking Pics!
100th -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
BillGuard Warns You About Questionable CC Charges

BillGuard is a free service designed to solve the problem of possibly overlooking hidden fees, billing errors or fraudulent transactions on your credit cards. It scans and analyzes your card transactions and alerts you if they match charges others have flagged as questionable. Unless you're vigilant about thoroughly reading your credit card and debit card statements (BillGuard says 9 out of 10 people aren't), it can be easy to miss things like being double billed or spotting that small mysterious charge that might be a scam. BillGuard uses our collective consumer vigilance and its own automated tests to help protect against unauthorized and unwanted charges or even just subscriptions you've forgotten about. Each time a user verifies or flags a transaction in BillGuard, it makes BillGuard a bit smarter and strengthens its power to act as "antivirus for our bills." If you're wary about handing over your credit card data to yet another online financial tool (healthy skepticism is a good thing), take a look at BillGuard's security information page, in which the company says they only have read-only access to your credit or debit card statements and your account login credentials are not stored. Although you can use a service like Mint to analyze your credit card data and find weird charges, BillGuard's system is much more focused on clearly showing you questionable charges, and it emails you immediately so you can take action. BillGuard can be very helpful for those of us with credit card or debit card statements cluttered with transactions or who just want to protect against suspicious activity.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

The girl I'm with is a virgin; everything we have done has been new to her. She is ready and willing to try everything, but when we try things it hurts. I am only able to use one finger to finger her and she says two feels painful. How do I go from inserting one finger to inserting my penis?

A:
Well, first of all get lube, lots of it. Reduced fritction will go a long way. Second: Let her take control for the penetration, that means her on top and she decides on the speed and force of everything. It can be very paiinful to her, especially if there is a pronounced size difference between the two of you. So be very careful, let her set the pace and eventually it will work. If not, she might want to consult a doctor.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Doorman Dog


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
SALEM, OR -- Police in Salem say three men were arrested last weekend after officers responded to a report of the men fighting naked. Police said officers later found out that all three men took the hallucinogenic drug LSD. Officers used stun guns on two of the men without any apparent effect before they were subdued. One was found lying naked in a street and the other was hiding in a back yard. Police were able to talk the third man into surrendering. None of the men suffered any serious injuries in the Sunday incident but all were charged with disorderly conduct.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Ma'am, I've told you twice...that's not highway-safe." -Bozzio

Runner-up
"Halt! You are...hot! That is all, carry on." -Charlie D



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