A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, she wanted "The Knob."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems: "I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said," Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."
She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee.
HotelTonight Lets You Upgrade That Cheap Room to a Suite
When it comes to last-minute travel, HotelTonight can be a lifesaver. The app allows you to get same-day hotel rooms at a fraction of the cost you might pay had you booked the room earlier. This week it added another feature: the option to upgrade that last-minute booking to a suite.
When you make a booking at a hotel that’s offering an upgrade you’ll see the option to bump up your room on the checkout screen. If you’re particularly interested in an upgraded room you can also just search for hotels that are offering one. For instance “Upgrade San Francisco.”
Upgrades will always be suites rather than just a room on a higher floor or with slightly better amenities, and they’ll also always be at least 50% cheaper than the hotel’s standard upgrade fee.
Upgrades are one of those things my boyfriend always asks for, but I always shy away from. There’s something a bit awkward for me about asking the person at the front desk if they have anything better available. Especially when it’s just me traveling, my original room is probably great, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t consider paying an extra $20 to get something amazing. I could see myself doing this.
And if you’ve never given HotelTonight a try, it’s definitely worth it. Hotels put their extra inventory in the app, often at a serious discount. You have to book the room the same day, but you can score some insane deals. We’ve used the service a few times traveling when our original hotel didn’t require payment until check-in. In those instances, we found a significantly better price at a much better hotel and just canceled our original reservation. You can book HotelTonight rooms up to seven days in advance, but the longer you wait the better the deals often get.
"My GF's not really open to talk about sexual things. How do I deal with it? Am I supposed to just guess? She isn't really like against most things but we can't really talk about what works for her or how she'd want it and so forth.
Is there any way I could make her more open to the subject?"
"my wife was like that too. what i did was just started doing things. and sometimes she liked it and sometimes she said 'hey not
here'. or she moved postions or she would get into the postion she liked best without talk or direction."
WALKER COUNTY, AL -- One inmate remains at large after a jailbreak Sunday night in northern Alabama, according to the Walker County Sheriff's Office.
Twelve prisoners went on the run from the Walker County Jail, in Jasper, the office said, but 11 have since been captured.
In a press conference on Monday, Sheriff James Underwood said the inmates used peanut butter to escape the facility.
The prisoners took advantage of a new guard who was working in the control room, Underwood said, using peanut butter to obscure the number above the jail cell and then yelling at the unidentified guard to open the door to let them in the cell.
"They changed the number over the door with peanut butter," he said. "(Then) they hollered, 'Hey, open door' so-and-so, but (the number the inmates gave the worker) was the outside door.
"And unknowingly to him, he hit that lock and out the door they went," Underwood said.
Underwood said it took eight hours to capture the first 11 escapees, most of whom were found in the Jasper area. Underwood said some of them took off on foot, while others are suspected of getting in a car.
Two of the escapees had been jailed on attempted murder allegations, and police offered a $500 reward for information leading to an arrest.
Still at large is Brady Andrew Kilpatrick, 24, of Cordova, who had been jailed for alleged drug offenses.
Off-duty personnel have been enlisted in the manhunt and the Jasper Police Department is also helping to search for Kilpatrick, the sheriff's office said in a statement on Facebook. Jasper is about 35 miles northwest of Birmingham. The Walker County Jail was opened in 1998 and houses 250 inmates, according to its website.
WRITE YOUR OWN CAPTION!
Send in the caption you think best suits this month's picture
Winner "The path to salvation lies in prayer. And tits. Real big tits." -Danny
Runner-up "For the dearly departed, we offer DD's de-bloused." -Mac