For The Week Of 08/02/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A boy asks his dad, "I need to know the meaning of 'hypothetically' and 'realistically' for school". So the father says, "Go ask your mom if she would sleep with another man for a million dollars". The boy goes and asks, and says "Dad she said yes she would." So the father says "Ok, now go ask your sister the same question". The boy runs off and asks his sister, then runs back to his dad and tells him "She said yes, she would also". So the father says to the son, "You see son, hypothetically we have 2 million dollars, but realistically we are living with 2 whores".

SITES OF THE WEEK
Captcha -Art!
Wow -Butts!
Epic -Sax!
VW Sunday -Drive!
Funeral -Cakes!
Cute Owl -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Top 10: Ways To Score A Guidette

Tip #1: Hit the gym and the tanning bed. “A guy definitely needs to have muscles and a ripped body. He needs to take care of himself, and he has to be tanned. It can be a spray tan, a tanning bed or the sun.”

Tip #2: Seriously invest in your clothes, including your jeans. “Be fresh to death like Pauly. Pauly dresses in blinged-out clothes -- designer jeans, designer shirts. Just be fresh. In the house, Pauly’s the hottest.”

Tip #3: No matter what time of night, don’t be a perv. “Guys can be perverts, and they need to calm it down. Mike ["The Situation"] Sorrentino’s a pervert. He creeps on girls way too much. He just needs to relax."

Tip #4: Don’t resort to pickup lines. “I think pickup lines are funny if you’re joking around, but if you’re being serious, I’ll probably smack you in the face.”

Tip #5: Don’t worry about the fragrance; just be clean. “I don’t have any brands [of cologne] that I like or know about. Just smell really good -- no b.o. Take a shower.”

Tip #6: Education is important. “When I’m looking to settle down with someone, they have to have a good head on their shoulders and some sort of education. I like really smart guys. I like Vinny’s personality. He’s really smart, but nobody really knows that.”

Tip #7: You don’t have to party 24/7. “People think I’m just a party girl, but I don’t look to party all the time. I can be relaxed and chill, but I don’t think people get to see that. I like a guy who knows how to have a good time, who’s nice to me and romantic -- the whole package.”

Tip #8: Don’t be an egomaniac. “There’s definitely a relationship that I don’t have with this person anymore [in Season 2]. It was surprising, but I definitely think it was a good decision on my part to stop talking to this person.”

Tip #9: Be yourself. “I like a guy who’s not scared to be his real self -- be dorky, be stupid. I like that. I like silly guys. I feel like I was the underdog [on the show], and I think that’s why I am so popular.”

Tip #10: Don’t go for a girl for the wrong reasons. “It’s been very hard to date. There are a lot of guys who throw themselves at me, and I know they’re only doing that because of who I am; they’re not really doing that to get to know me for me. They just want to be with me because I’m Snooki. It’s hard to find a genuine guy.”
Sex tips taken from: Ask Men
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Tarah

Tina, Im really wanting to try swinging with my husband, and not the dancing kind. How do I get him interested in trying it out with me?

A:
Dear Tarah, Well If he already turned you down, you can kiss that idea goodbye. Maybe hes afraid that will ruin your relationship with each other. At that point is when the situation comes to a halt. If one memeber of the party isnt certain and stable enough to get into something that risky you can kiss your relationship goodbye. Im quite surprised. Usually the women are the skeptical ones. You can start off by taking him to a swingers club which would be a safe environment and just let him watch, dont participate just yet. Go a few times just so he can get the feel of it and then maybe he will change his mind. Good Luck Babe.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Star Wars Improv Anywhere!
 
 
Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
The next move has been made in the beer ABV arms race: Dutch brewery 't Koelschip has created a 60% beer called "Start the Future." They created it in response to BrewDog's 55% End of History beer released just last week. "Start the Future" also beats "End of History" in terms of price point as well: the higher ABV beverage costs a mere €35 ($46 US), compared to BrewDog's £500 ($764 US) bottle. Meant to be enjoyed from a small glass and not from a beer glass,, the only drawback to "Start the Future"? It doesn't come in bottles encased in dead squirrels. "START THE FUTURE is a product made of 100% beer beer." >>> Here's what 't Koelschip has to say about their new brew (translation from Google Translate): It presents Reefer Biggest beer in the world now the Scots a 55% beer on the market was the question: what do we do now? He is START THE FUTURE 60% alc. in response to the Scottish reaction; Obilix 45% was a success, but this is even better! START THE FUTURE is like a beer OBILX product, a heavy alcoholic beverage ingredients with water, malt, hops and yeast. The beer is then processed into a product, a beer-based drink beer. START THE FUTURE is like OBILIX is a product made of 100% beer beer. How? Vvraag it to the brewer. You drink our START THE FUTURE Obilix and also from a small glass and not from a beer glass. Want START THE FUTURE AND OBILIX tests book a beer tasting. This may take place during a tasting at t reefer, or at festivals where we are or purchase at the brewery. All right, BrewDog. Your move..
 
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