For The Week Of 08/04/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her to open it. At this point, she's confused. Maybe he's just a guy who thought better of becoming an anonymous donor and wants his sample back. She opens the safe like he commanded. The robber yells: "Now bring over that tray!" The woman does as he asks and brings the tray of sperm samples to the counter. As soon as the tray hits the counter, the menacing criminal makes further demands: "Now open that container and drink it!" The woman's gag reflex triggers. She barely manages to stammer out "that's disgusting! I won't do it!" Angered the man in the ski mask cocks the hammer on his pistol and repeats his command to drink one of the samples. The woman complies, he tells her to drink another, and another until the entire tray is gone. Once the last cup is finished the man pulls off his ski mask and goes: "See honey, it's not that fucking hard."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Zippo -Lighting Tricks
Databending -Audio Pics
Sex Myths -To Not Believe
NESMania -Beat Every Game
Bill Clinton's -Record Swag
Game About Squares -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Riffstation Teaches Guitar Chords While Music Videos Play

Learning to play guitar is a difficult, fulfilling, and fun hobby. The web site Riffstation lets you crank that fun up to 11 by teaching you how to play a song exactly while the music video plays. Just head to the web site, search a song or artist, and pick your poison (just don't pick Poison, ugh). Once you've made your selection, the video will start to play. Below the video, you'll see the chords to play and what chords are coming up next. On the right, you can see exactly how to play each chord—just in case you need a reminder. You can even adjust the chords if you'd like to play with a capo.

It's a young service, so not every song by every artist is available, but most of the big ones are there. Now go get working on those finger calluses.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Lloyd1636

"After having a negative experience with a woman who was my age 2 weeks ago, I decided to primarily purusue women who are 30+. For whatever reason, women in my age bracket (for a very long time) seem to not find too much appealing with myself to want to date me on a short/long-term basis, so I have decided to take advice I should have taken years ago and pursue women who are at my intelligence and maturity level. The question is, where are they?"

A:

"Join OKCupid. They're there in droves. So long as you don't message women with just "hi" or "hey" or "you look great". You'll be fine. 1. Read their profile 2. FInd something interesting in it to ask them about 3. Don't make them think too much for the answer It's kind of guaranteed to get you into the gate. Actually the same works for women of all ages. Recently dated women 19, 24, 30+ and 40+ on OkCupid by just being a little creative in my replies."

-Thor

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

DMX vs. Slingshot


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DECATUR, IL -- A central Illinois man is accused of trying to kill his female roommate for allegedly eating cookies he perhaps coveted. The (Decatur) Herald & Review reports that 23-year-old Allen Hall of Decatur is charged in Macon County with attempted murder and aggravated domestic battery. Police allege that Hall turned angry Wednesday when he learned his 49-year-old roommate ate three Chips Ahoy cookies for breakfast and threatened to kill her. After the roommate at first believed that Hall was joking, the woman told police Hall tried to strangle her in a bathtub. The woman's husband and the landlord ultimately separated the two. Online court records don't show whether Hall has an attorney. He does not have a listed home telephone number.

Hall remained jailed Saturday in lieu of $75,000 bond.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
""Yeah but the front says 'My Wife Cheated on Me'...-Roy

Runner-up
"Looks like the EAT AT JOES dude hit on hard times."-Bishop



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