For The Week Of 08/05/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that heís going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter. "My darling," he writes, "it looks like weíre going to be apart for a very long time. Already Iím starting to miss you and weíre constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptationís terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them." His wife sends him back a harmonica with a note reading, "Why donít you learn to play this?" Eventually his tour of duty comes to an end and he rushes back to his wife. "Darling" he says, "I canít wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!" But she stops him with a wave of her hand. "First, letís see how well you play that harmonica."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Super Mario Brothers -Which One Are You.
Time Travel Fund -Live In The Future!
Speed Traps -No Tickets For You!
ABC's of Ex-Girlfriends -Hilarious!
Castlevania Old-School -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat.... Online Retailers!
Most online retailers charge an arm and a leg in shipping for online purchases. But they also waive this charge for purchases over a certain amount. So, if you only want one item and donít want to pay shipping, make enough purchases to exceed the shipping-waived threshold, and return the rest of the items to the retailerís nearest store location. They will credit your card, and you wonít have to pay shipping!
B. Dover Franklin, Va

contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_Tips&Tricks
ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by Rick

After college i put some money in the stock market. Now my portfolio is 20% its original value. Should i sell now or just try and wait it out?

A:
i bought my first stock when i was 13, have bought more stock at least once a year since and i am now 26 so i can honestly say i've been interested in the market for half my life. i love the market and i love america so it is safe to say that i'm the unmitigated bull. don't let the media frenzy get to you. yes we do face a terrorism issue and some of corporate america's "dressing up" of the books have gotten out of control, but do you not think that these are issues that america can and will overcome? even in the great stock market crash of 1929 (which could never happen to such an extreme degree like that nowadays since the whole market is run by computers now and simply shuts down when it drops to fast) and 1987 we were back to pre-downturn levels within a reasonable amount of time (if you are a long term investor). the only thing you have to worry about is if you invested in a speculative company and you don't think they are going to be around for the long haul. for instance if you invested in someone like scient.com you might want to consider cutting your losses but if you invested in a blue chip like microsoft i wouldn't lose a second of sleep about it. this is the best time to be buying some of america's great blue chips, or even better, a conservative managed tax efficient fund. most people have the tendency to get in the market when it is hot and stay away from it when it is cold. this is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you need to be doing. buy in the downturns in good solid blue chips, or index type funds to spread your exposure, and hold onto the shit forever! check out the top 10 richest guys in america. do you know what they all have in common? all their companies are public. the one you really want to take a look at is warren buffet. probably the greatest investor of all time. his simple philosophy? buy solid companies with good balance sheets and never sell them. so to sum up. only sell your stocks that are of fundamentally bad companies (poorly run, lots of debt, negative cash flow, all hype, etc..) hold your blue chips and most importantly -- BUY MORE! ;-)

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


You Got Knock The Fuck Out!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "dog.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "dog.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In June, after the British musical group the Planets introduced a 60-second piece of complete silence on its latest album, representatives of the estate of composer John Cage, who once wrote "4'33"" (273 seconds of silence), threatened to sue the group for ripping Cage off (but failed, said the group, to specify which 60 of the 273 seconds it thought had been pilfered). Said Mike Batt of the Planets: "Mine is a much better silent piece. I (am) able to say in one minute what (took Cage) four minutes and 33 seconds." [The Independent (London), 6-21-02]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"45 is that her age or the cost of a blow job?!"-Jseery
Runners-up
"With traffic speeds rising, Atlanta police resorted to the only thing they knew would slow down a pick-up truck full of hicks." -Glenn
"WHEN THEY SAID EZ PASS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO NATIONWIDE, I DONT THINK THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD IN MIND!." -Rick



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