For The Week Of 08/05/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman goes to the gynecologist for an exam. She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam. After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina." The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice." The doctor says, "I didn't."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Most Epic -Movie Trailer
Porn Stars -Wearing Clothes
The Legend Of -Oregon Trail
The 'Simpsons' -Movie References
Drunk Girls -Deepthroating Beers
Pan Man -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Heard Records BG Audio and Saves the Last Five Minutes

iPhone: Your phone is a very capable voice recorder, but you might miss an important moment in the few seconds it takes to find and open an audio recording app. Heard attempts to solve this problem by recording in the background, and saving a buffer of audio at all times. Once you launch the app and start recording, it will keep working in the background while you go about your day. If you hear something you want to save, just hop back to the app and save the audio buffer locally, or send it via email or Facebook. Battery life is always a concern for anything running in the background, so this might be an app you use at your desk while plugged in, or only in situations where you think you might need it. I'll be the first to admit, it sounds a little bit creepy, but Heard isn't uploading your audio to any third party servers unless you explicitly share it, so the only thing you need to worry about is making sure the people around you know that you're recording. One potential use for Heard is in the office; if someone comes by and dictates instructions to you, Heard can save you from awkwardly fumbling around for a notepad or recording app. Heard is a free app which saves a 12 second buffer in the background. A $1.99 in-app purchase though will unlock 30 second, one minute, and five minute buffers as well.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Danny

"Ladies, have you ever experienced a penis that's too big for you? What does it feel like?"

A:

"See the thing is that the spot where the woman feels the woman feels aroused with the penis is ont about 3-5 inches long but beyond that she CAN feel it but it wont feel good, she will just feel it in there, the reason why a pens that is too big hurts for a woman is because its hitting the crevix which is an extremely painful feeling that no woman likes hence why, large penises are a good yet bad thing. The man might think its great but for the woman it is not."

-Cperez11

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Truck Sandwich


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ALBANY, GA -- Larenzo Riggins was hungry when he walked into the east Albany McDonald's last night. "I went in to order seven McDoubles and one McChicken, and one fry," said Lorenzo Riggins, 911 caller. But after he walked outside, he says he noticed that wasn't what he got. "I left out the store without checking it, but when I got to my truck and I got ready to leave I looked in my bag and come to find out I had six McDoubles" said Riggins. Riggins says he took the bag back inside and talked to an employee hoping to get his other hamburger, but things didn't turn out so well. "She was trying to get an attitude with me and I said I'm going to call the police," said Riggins. And that's what he did, Lorenzo called the police. Lorenzo's call to police sent him to jail.

When a police officer arrived at the restaurant, Riggins was arrested and charged with violation of emergency 911 telephone. "I called the police and thinking that everything all cool by calling the police, I didn't know I was misusing 911," said Riggins. Riggins spent the night in jail and bonded out today. He's upset because he says he never got a chance to explain his side of things to police. "I want justice, I want to be treated like a person with respect and any other person with respect, but I never knew that I was misusing 911," said Riggins. Riggins also has a message for you. "I would like to say check your food before you leave, always be careful when you go buy food anywhere you go," said Riggins. And if there's a problem, don't call 911.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Definitely not the first time she's received a blast to the face." -Marcus

Runner-up
"The winner is me! Champagne bukkakes all around!" -Gerry



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