For The Week Of 08/06/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Billy is a kindergartner. He comes home from school one day and says to his mom "Guess what happened to me in school today!" and before she can answer he says "I had sex with my teacher!" His mom goes apeshit and screams "Go to your room and tell your father what you did when he gets home." So his father comes home around seven and goes to Billy's room and says "What did you do this time Billy." Billy replies "I had sex with my teacher!" "Good boy!" Says his father, "Let's go buy you a new bicycle." When they get out of the bike shop with his brand new shiny red bike with training wheels and a cute little bell his father says "Do you want to ride your new bicycle home Billy?" and Billy says, "No, my ass still hurts."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Nic-A-Tampon - Stop Smoking And Take Care of your Period.
Peroidic Table Bush - Periodic Table The Man Show way!
HillyBilly Wacker - Masturbation RedNeck.
Y2Kai Rap! -Aint Notin But A G Thang!
Penis Size - Measure Your Penis.
Be Tiger Woods - Practice Minature golf and finally beat your girlfriend.
TIPS & TRICKS
Free Stuff
The busy person you are, you dont have time to cook, So you eat a lot fast food. The problem is that they never get your order right, and the customer service is third rate. Well, If you have one of these experiences, call the Corporate Office on their 800 number and let them know the crappy condition of the place and employees. Your prize for being a snitch will be a free meal on them. Now that you have free meal, log on to Sublime and get some free porn!
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Richie

My girl is always talking about her exís enormous wang. Mine isnít too short, but Iím worried that sheíll be disappointed when we get down to business. Is there any way to make my schlong bigger without weights, surgery, or medication?

A:
first off why don't you teach your girl some manners. you don't yap it up about
how tight your last girlfriends pussy was do you? i think talking about past relationships and experiences is a big no no. it is completely pointless. i've been with many girls that can not resist the temptation to brag about a past experience. i just chuckle and then fuck'em until they are cross eyed. i can assure you it will be the last time she yaps it up about a past dude. so back to the penis size thing. i think what is way more important is the width not the length. a girls clit is on the outside of her pussy and her g-spot is generally (individual results may vary ;-) 2-3 inches deep on the roof of her pussy so having a long dick is not going to do anything other than poke the back of her uterus and not let the friction of your pubic bone against her clit get full affect. a thick dick on the other hand will hit all the right spots. now here is the bad news. i am not aware of any ways to permanently increase the size of your penis by weights or exercises. surgery apparently works but is usually reserved for extreme conditions. now here is the good news. you can make your erection much thicker than it normally gets by using a little viagra action. i have friends that swear by it and i used it once and thought my johnson was going to explode. it was so hard and pumped up that i could easily have used it to hammer nails into the wall. so my advice to you is check out one of those websites where you can order some and treat yourself to a bottle (assuming you check with a doctor first, it is right for you and all that other bullshit that if you don't say you get sued). i think you will be quite happy with the results...and your girl definitely will! ;-) let us know how it goes...

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Shock Therapy?!?!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "fire.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "fire.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Taser guns Affects!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
The human-egg-donor business is flourishing in America, with brokers offering tall, athletic, brainy blondes as much as $80,000 for a multiple-egg harvest (though the average woman gets $5,000 or less), according to a May Los Angeles Times report. Several Ivy League women told the Times they pay off a semester's bills in a single doctor's visit to have eggs extracted by syringe (after a several-week hormone regimen). Said a bioethicist, "There is not much difference between those [egg brokers'] ads and what goes on with prize breeding of animals."

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"With the energy crisis in full swing, California is forced to implement a radical new power source alternative....."METHANE" -Jennifer"
Runnerups
"Don't ever say we never put our "asses" on the line for you" - Zappa
"Jonny to his Science Teacher: "See, Jupiter is the only planet with many moons!" -Mike

Archived Issues: 06-18-2001 | 06-25-2001 | 07-02-2001 | 07-09-2001 | 07-16-2001| 07-23-2001| 07-30-2001


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