For The Week Of 08/07/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy goes to his doctor because he’s been having problems remembering things. After a battery of tests the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I have bad news, and I have very bad news."

"What’s the very bad news?" the man asks warily.

"Well," says the doctor, "our tests show that you have cancer and only have three weeks to live."

"Oh, my God!" says the man. "Well, what’s the bad news?"

"Our tests indicate that you also have Alzheimer’s disease," says the doc.

"Well, I can always look on the bright side," says the man. "At least I don’t have cancer!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Barbie -In Jail
Ok Go! -Coolest Videos Of The Year
Shopping Cart Assualt -At 70 Mph.
The Art Of Shiv -Prison Weapons
Work Friendly-Make The Web Loook Like Office Documents!
Wild Shooter -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Mall Parking!
Sick of looking for that prime parking spot during the busy Christmas season? You could break your hip to get a handicap space…or you could try this. Park your 1985 Datsun along the sidewalk as close to the front door as possible. Leave a note on the windshield, in plain view of those funny mall security guards. The note should say "Car won't start. Went to call for help. Please do not tow." Everyone is in the Christmas spirit and won't screw you over by towing the car. If the mall cops are standing near your car when you return, tell them that you just called your girlfriend to pick you up but you want to try one more time to see if the car will start. Like magic, the battery will have regained just enough power to start your rustbucket and you can cruise to the next store. contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Gary
I have a strange dilemma. I’m a rather attractive 20-year-old guy, well groomed and a good dresser. I was raised to treat women with respect, so I don’t try to jump in their pants on the first date. The problem is, a few girls have asked me if I’m gay! All my friends have told me I should stop taking care of myself and start wearing jeans and a tee, and that would help. What do you think?
A:
I think your friends’ advice is a load of shit. No one ever found love by suddenly and drastically changing himself. Except, of course, in the movies, which are about as useful for relationship advice as Larry King. No, all you need to do is to adjust your tack a bit. You could first try to go for a different kind of girl. I know plenty of women who are ga-ga for a sharp-dressed guy with clean nails and no unibrow: mostly they’re older than you, the classy types. You say you’re respectful toward women. Keep it up. I know lots of girls who’d kill for a guy like you, rather than the usual Cro-Magnons they’ve got dragging them around by the hair. What you should be doing, though, is tapping into the tiger inside. Flirt. Let your sex-fiend show just a bit. You most certainly can compliment a girl on her looks and tell her she’s sexy, with just a hint of lust in your eye, without being impudent. In fact, when mixed in the right proportions, it’s quite dangerous.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


N.O.R.R.I.S.!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
LEWISTOWN, Pennsylvania (AP) - A man with a criminal record masqueraded as an attorney for months after stealing the identify of a lawyer with the same name, authorities said. Jeffrey P. Riddell, 40, of Hershey, has never held a law license in Pennsylvania, but claimed to be another attorney with the same first and last names, authorities said. At the time, the real attorney was living in Russia. Riddell was jailed Tuesday and faces a charge of unauthorized practice of law. Prosecutor Stephen S. Snook said he also hopes to file identity theft charges. Snook's suspicions started when he got a letter from Riddell on behalf of a defendant in a drug case in March. Written on the lawyer's stationary, the letter was threatening and "goofy," he said. "The letter was just not what you would expect an attorney to write," Snook said. He ended up getting more letters from Riddell and almost daily phone calls. Then, when he saw Riddell at a hearing, Snook said he started getting very suspicious. Snook and police believe Riddell assumed the identity of attorney Jeffrey A. Riddell after he had left the country and deactivated his law license with the state. "Maybe he Googled his own name one time," Snook said. "Somehow he knew about him." Jeffrey P. Riddell was being held on $50,000 bail. Snook said Riddell planned to represent himself in court.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"How to be a slut like Paris Hilton"-Dng
Runners-up
"College Tuition: $35,000 Books: $1,000.00 Sexy Lingerie: $100.00 Sending a picture of what you learned in college to mom and dad: Priceless!"-Sung
"The Olsen Twins gone wild"-R
"Between the two of them, they've got a lot to swallow!"-Steve



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