For The Week Of 08/08/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland."

George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."

George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!"

Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."

The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Strippers Caught -Frisky!
Self Protrait In Space -Eye Candy
Vintage Porn Posters -Classic
Ballon Bowl-Fun Times
One Word -Cool Concept
Picross -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Elevators
"The designers of some elevators include a hidden feature that is very handy if you're in a hurry or it's a busy time in the building (like check-out time in a hotel). While some elevators require a key, others can be put into "Express" mode by pressing the "Door Close" and "Floor" buttons at the same time. This sweeps the car to the floor of your choice and avoids stops at any other floor. This seems to work on Most elevators that I have tried! Most elevators have the option for this to work, but on some of them the option is turned off by whoever runs them. This is a rather fun hack, so the next time you are on an elevator, give it a try, you have nothing to lose, And this concludes Hacking Elevators 101!


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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Richy
My boyfriend and I have sex multiple times a day. Sometimes my vagina hurts. Can you get something from having too much sex?
A:

Yes, you sure can get something from having too much sex - a sore coochie! Seriously, the membranes in and around your vagina are delicate, and having frequent intercourse can irritate them. All the pounding, thrusting, and rubbing of the sex act can cause small abrasions and even some bruising of the tissue. The good news is that this heals quickly and does no lasting damage. If you feel minor pain only occasionally, this is probably just due to minor irritation and is a sign that you and Romeo need to give it a rest for a day or two. However, while the irritation caused by frequent or rough intercourse doesn't cause disease in itself, it can set the stage for an infection. It's always important to use condoms, but even more so for you, because small tears in the vaginal lining are how HIV, Hepatitis C, and other blood-borne infections can make their way into the body. Also, irritation caused by intercourse can make you more vulnerable to vaginal infections or bladder infections. If you are experiencing frequent or painful urination, or vaginal pain or itching that lasts for more than a couple of days or is getting worse, you should consult a doctor. Also check to make sure that you are not having an allergic reaction to your partner's latex condoms, or lube or spermicidal jelly if you use it. Incidentally, guys' dicks can also get sore from too much intercourse or masturbation - to the point where the skin becomes reddened, inflamed, and may even bleed. In most cases the irritation will go away on its own after a couple of days of abstaining.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Lighter Tricks
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "zippo.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "zippo.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Mike Tyson is reportedly set to star in a porn film - with Jenna Jameson. The former boxing World Heavyweight Champion claims he is desperate for cash, after being hit with a tax bill for several million dollars, and a porn career is a tempting offer. The disgraced pugilist, who retired from boxing last month, was approached by Jenna's representatives to star as her partner in the X-rated movie. He is quoted by Britain's Zoo magazine as saying: "I just talked to a gentleman called Jimmy who's involved with Jenna Jameson. They said they were interested in getting me involved in the adult film industry . "I need the money up front." Meanwhile, American boxing journalist Pedro Fernandez believes Tyson, who was jailed for six years in 1992 on rape charges, would triumph in the sex industry - with his alleged 14-inch manhood. (*See Link Below for Naked Picture of Mike Tyson) He explained: "According to court documentation from Tyson's rape trial, his member is at least 14 inches long. "If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star."
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"And you thought sex in the future was fun!"-Bio-Monkey Runners-up
"I want to "Pump.....You Up"-jeff
"Something went terribly wrong with the product testing of Playstation 5" -Brundel



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