For The Week Of 08/08/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus and sets it on a barstool. He announces to the bar "I'll bet anyone here $100 my octopus can play any instrument you give him, and play it well!" After a bit of discussion a man comes forward, and slaps a hundred dollar bill on the bar. "I'm betting he can't play my guitar!" he says, and shoves the guitar at the octopus. To everyone's surprise the octopus snatches it up and rips off a sweet solo. "Damn!" the challenger stalks off as the octopus' owner laughs and pockets his dough. After a while a man walks up with a flute and says "There's no way that thing can play a flute! It's got no lips!" and throws a hundred down. The octopus fiddles with the flute a minute, then shreds some wicked Tull, using its spout to blow air. Everyone is amazed and the owner sweeps up the cash. A third man approaches, and produces a set of bagpipes. "Here's my hundred", he says, and hands the set to the octopus. The octopus holds the instrument delicately, eyeballing it, then urgently begins spinning it about, examining. This goes on for a while, until the bagpipe dude gets impatient. "Hey!" he says, "that thing clearly can't play that!"

"Play it?" says the octopus, "Once I figure out how to get its dress off I'm going to fuck it!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Spock -Isn't Impressed!
Chicks -And Bikes!
Serial Killer -Daily Quotes!
Beautiful -Swear Words!
Boobs Don't -Work That Way!
Gap Monsters -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Diglo is an Anonymous File-Sharing Social Network

Diglo is a mashup between between a file-hosting site, a social network, and a media search engine. The site allows you to store a huge amount of data privately, shared with just a few friends, or publicly. A verified email address is enough to create an account. Everything you share publicly has no restrictions on hosting or transfer limits. These public files can also be shared outside of Diglo with a public link. For private files there is a 15gb storage limit; files shared among friends has a limit of 10gb plus 1gb for every Diglo friend on your account. The best part of Diglo is that you can browse or search for files shared publicly by others. The site is less than a year old, but already has a large user base. Diglo is a free webapp. You may purchase 30-day premium subscriptions to increase your data allowances for private and shared files.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

When I orgasm, sometimes I poop and it's not pleasant for my partner. How do I stop this? I'm serious, too, so anybody with a legit answer to this weird question, help.

A:
Apparently you lose control of your bowels during climax. Go to the toilet as closely before sex as possible and train your muscles to stay closed. Maybe go to a doctor, as it could be a medical issue.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Drunk vs. Porta Potties


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ORLANDO, FL -- He lives in a pineapple under the sea, but is now wanted for armed robbery. A man dressed as Spongebob Squarepants, along with his partner in crime, held up a 7-11 convenience store at gunpoint near Orlando on Thursday.

Detectives said the cartoon character was a first. "It's not unusual for criminals to disguise their identity," Osceola County Sheriff's spokesman Twis Lizasuain said. "It is unusual he would use that particular character." Shots were fired, but no one was hurt. The pair escaped with a drawer full of cash.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"I'll be your Dirk Diggler, Rollergirl." -Shawn

Runner-up
"Bending over is a great way to pick up speed, babe." -Rick K



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