For The Week Of 08/11/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the man driving tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie!"

The nun whips off her mask and shouts, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
HODOR -HODOR HODOR
SLUG SOLOS -Guitar Slugs
Unscientific -Sexual Fears
Sexy Keepers -Of Death
Cooking Steak -On Lava
P.A.I.D. -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Last App Switcher Switches Between Your Last Two Apps

On your TV remote you probably have a button that lets you switch back and forth between two channels. Last App Switcher works in the same way for the two most recently used apps on your Android handset. The app adds a little floating icon to your screen which you can place anywhere for ease of access. Tap this and you can switch to the last apps you used; it works just like pressing Alt-Tab in Windows. You can change the size and transparency level of the icon to make it less intrusive. Last App Switcher is much faster than using Android's built in app switcher.

You can choose whether your home screen should be included in switching if you want a quick way to access your home screen icons, or just switch between apps.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by No1uno

"I recently met this girl on a site vaguely similar to this one about a month ago I guess. We started messaging each other back and forth and a few days ago exchanged numbers. Since then things have just taken off! A couple of things though.... for one we were talking about me coming out there soon basically just so we can hook up really. The thing is she lives 5 hours away from me. Is this just to repeated even for somebody who hasn't been laid in years? The other thing to is that I'm not super physically attracted to her but I haven't had sex in so long I'm not sure I care at this point which makes it feel even more desperate. Also no offense to this girl but is it wrong to ask somebody you just met wether or not they have any STDs before you hook up or for that matter if she's on birth control? I'm probably just over thinking all this shit but I've been out of action for a LONG time! Any advice words of encouragement, anything?"

A:

"You haven't told us what "things have just taken off!!!" means to you. Has she said things that imply she is interested in a sexual relationship? Or are you just having a good time talking to each other? A 5 hour drive to me would have to include something more than just meeting for coffee or a few drinks. I'm just wondering if her expectations may be very different than yours. I would not ask her about STD's because she could have them and not know it, or could know but will lie about. The fact that you are not physically attracted to her but still want to have sex with her implies to me that you think of her primarily as friend who you would make a 5 hour drive for in order to get laid. Has she given you any reason to believe that is a motive she shares with you? I think you have a chance of it going the way you hope for, but there is a better chance that it won't. Good luck."

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
COLOGNE, GERMANY -- There are people who definitely are a bit too attached to their smartphone, but this determined German schoolboy is in another league entirely. A boy enjoying a fishing trip with a group of friends accidentally dropped his iPhone over the side of the boat – so he decided to drain the entire pond. The 16-year-old took matters into his own hands after the angling club refused to let him use his diving suit to retrieve the device, sneaking back later that night armed with a powerful pump and two hoses. ‘I thought two pumps would drain enough of the water from the pond so I could find my cellphone,’ he told his local paper in Cologne. ‘I knew the phone was probably dead but wanted to get the data card back with the numbers, pictures and videos of my friends.’ The youngster thought that if he directed the water into the angling club toilet he may get away with his plan – but he failed to notice that the toilet wasn’t attached to a sewage system. When the owner arrived to a flooded car park he quickly found the cause and called police. The boy was ordered to pay for the damage for the toilet, the clean-up operation and the water to refill the pond. And though he didn’t recover his phone, he was unapologetic. ‘It almost worked,’ he insisted.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference. Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

If you win you get a free Sublime Tee!
Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Wilbur Fudd is as shitty a hunger as his dad, Elmer."-Norm

Runner-up
"That deer hunted down the slowest of mammals, the lazy slob."-Sean



Contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com



Show your support…suggest SublimeTimes to a friend!
Friend's Email:
Your name: NOTE: Please put a name your friend will recognize
 

Archived Issues:
|06-18-2001 |06-25-2001 |07-02-2001 |07-09-2001 |07-16-2001 |
|07-23-2001 |07-30-2001 |08-06-2001 |08-13-2001 |08-20-2001 |
|08-27-2001 |09-03-2001 |09-10-2001 |09-17-2001 |09-23-2001 |
|10-01-2001 |10-08-2001 |10-15-2001 |10-22-2001 |10-30-2001 |
|11-05-2001 |11-12-2001 |11-17-2001 |11-24-2001 |12-03-2001 |
|12-10-2001 |12-17-2001 |12-24-2001 |12-31-2001 |01-07-2002 |
|01-14-2002 |01-21-2002 |02-04-2002 |02-11-2002 |02-18-2002 |
|02-25-2002 |03-03-2002 |03-10-2002 |03-18-2002 |03-25-2002 |
|04-01-2002 |04-08-2002 |04-15-2002 |04-22-2002 |04-29-2002 |
|05-06-2002 |05-13-2002 |05-20-2002 |05-27-2002 |06-03-2002 |
|06-10-2002 |06-17-2002 |06-24-2002 |07-01-2002 |07-07-2002 |
|07-15-2002 |07-22-2002 |07-29-2002 |08-05-2002 |08-12-2002 |
|08-19-2002 |08-26-2002 |09-02-2002 |09-09-2002 |09-16-2002 |
|09-23-2002 |09-30-2002 |10-07-2002 |10-14-2002 |10-21-2002 |
|10-28-2002 |11-04-2002 |11-11-2002 |11-18-2002 |11-25-2002 |
|12-02-2002 |12-09-2002 |12-16-2002 |12-23-2002 |12-30-2002 |
|01-06-2003 |01-13-2003 |01-20-2003 |01-27-2003 |02-03-2003 |
|02-10-2003 |02-17-2003 |02-24-2003 |03-03-2003 |03-10-2003 |
|03-17-2003 |03-24-2003 |03-31-2003 |04-07-2003 |04-14-2003 |
|04-21-2003 |04-28-2003 |05-05-2003 |05-12-2003 |05-19-2003 |
|05-27-2003 |06-02-2003 |06-09-2003 |06-16-2003 |06-24-2003 |
|06-30-2003 |07-07-2003 |07-14-2003 |07-21-2003 |07-28-2003 |
|08-04-2003 |08-11-2003 |08-18-2003 |08-25-2003 |09-01-2003 |
|09-08-2003 |09-15-2003 |09-22-2003 |09-29-2003 |10-06-2003 |
|10-13-2003 |10-20-2003 |10-27-2003 |11-03-2003 |11-10-2003 |
|11-17-2003 |11-24-2003 |12-01-2003 |12-08-2003 |12-15-2003 |
|12-22-2003 |12-29-2003 |01-05-2004 |01-12-2004 |01-19-2004 |
|01-26-2004 |02-02-2004 |02-09-2004 |02-16-2004 |02-23-2004 |
|03-01-2004 |03-08-2004 |03-15-2004 |03-22-2004 |03-29-2004 |
|04-05-2004 |04-12-2004 |04-19-2004 |04-26-2004 |05-03-2004 |
|05-10-2004 |05-17-2004 |05-24-2004 |05-31-2004 |06-07-2004 |
|06-14-2004 |06-21-2004 |06-28-2004 |07-05-2004 |07-12-2004 |
|07-19-2004 |07-26-2004 |08-02-2004 |08-09-2004 |08-16-2004 |
|08-23-2004 |08-30-2004 |09-06-2004 |09-13-2004 |09-20-2004 |
|09-27-2004 |10-04-2004 |10-11-2004 |10-18-2004 |10-25-2004 |
|11-01-2004 |11-08-2004 |11-15-2004 |11-22-2004 |11-29-2004 |
|12-06-2004 |12-13-2004 |12-20-2004 |12-27-2004 |01-03-2005 |
|01-10-2005 |01-17-2005 |01-24-2005 |01-31-2005 |02-07-2005 |
|02-14-2005 |02-21-2005 |02-28-2005 |03-07-2005 |03-14-2005 |
|03-21-2005 |03-28-2005 |04-04-2005 |04-11-2005 |04-18-2005 |
|04-24-2005 |05-02-2005 |05-09-2005 |05-16-2005 |05-23-2005 |
|05-30-2005 |06-06-2005 |06-13-2005 |06-20-2005 |06-27-2005 |
|07-04-2005 |07-11-2005 |07-18-2005 |07-25-2005 |08-01-2005 |
|08-08-2005 |08-15-2005 |08-22-2005 |08-29-2005 |09-04-2005 |
|09-11-2005 |09-17-2005 |09-24-2005 |10-03-2005 |10-10-2005 |
|10-17-2005 |10-24-2005 |10-31-2005 |11-07-2005 |11-14-2005 |
|11-21-2005 |11-28-2005 |12-05-2005 |12-12-2005 |12-19-2005 |
|12-26-2005 |01-02-2006 |01-09-2006 |01-16-2006 |01-23-2006 |
|01-31-2006 |02-06-2006 |02-13-2006 |02-20-2006 |02-27-2006 |
|03-06-2006 |03-13-2006 |03-20-2006 |03-27-2006 |04-03-2006 |
|04-10-2006 |04-17-2006 |04-24-2006 |05-01-2006 |05-08-2006 |
|05-15-2006 |05-22-2006 |05-29-2006 |06-05-2006 |06-12-2006 |
|06-17-2006 |06-26-2006 |07-03-2006 |07-10-2006 |07-17-2006 |
|07-24-2006 |07-31-2006 |08-07-2006 |08-14-2006 |08-21-2006 |
|08-28-2006 |09-04-2006 |09-11-2006 |09-18-2006 |09-25-2006 |
|10-01-2006 |10-08-2006 |10-16-2006 |10-23-2006 |10-30-2006 |
|11-06-2006 |11-13-2006 |11-20-2006 |11-28-2006 |12-04-2006 |
|12-11-2006 |12-18-2006 |12-25-2006 |01-01-2007 |01-08-2007 |
|01-15-2007 |01-22-2007 |01-29-2007 |02-05-2007 |02-12-2007 |
|02-19-2007 |02-27-2007 |03-05-2007 |03-12-2007 |03-19-2007 |
|03-27-2007 |04-02-2007 |04-09-2007 |04-16-2007 |04-23-2007 |
|04-30-2007 |05-07-2007 |05-14-2007 |05-21-2007 |05-28-2007 |
|06-04-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-18-2007 |06-11-2007 |06-25-2007 |
|07-02-2007 |07-09-2007 |07-16-2007 |07-23-2007 |07-30-2007 |
|08-06-2007 |08-13-2007 |08-20-2007 |08-27-2007 |09-03-2007 |
|09-10-2007 |09-17-2007 |09-24-2007 |10-01-2007 |10-08-2007 |
|10-15-2007 |10-22-2007 |10-29-2007 |11-05-2007 |11-12-2007 |
|11-19-2007 |11-26-2007 |12-03-2007 |12-10-2007 |12-17-2007 |
|12-24-2007 |12-31-2007 |01-07-2008 |01-14-2008 |01-21-2008 |
|01-28-2008 |02-04-2008 |02-11-2008 |02-18-2008 |02-25-2008 |
|03-03-2008 |03-10-2008 |03-17-2008 |03-24-2008 |03-31-2008 |
|04-07-2008 |04-14-2008 |04-21-2008 |04-28-2008 |05-05-2008 |
|05-12-2008 |05-19-2008 |05-26-2008 |06-02-2008 |06-09-2008 |
|06-16-2008 |06-23-2008 |06-30-2008 |07-07-2008 |07-14-2008 |
|07-21-2008 |07-28-2008 |08-04-2008 |08-11-2008 |08-18-2008 |
|08-25-2008 |09-01-2008 |09-08-2008 |09-15-2008 |09-22-2008 |
|09-29-2008 |10-06-2008 |10-13-2008 |10-20-2008 |10-27-2008 |
|11-03-2008 |11-10-2008 |11-17-2008 |11-24-2008 |12-01-2008 |
|12-08-2008 |12-15-2008 |12-22-2008 |12-29-2008 |01-05-2009 |
|01-12-2009 |01-19-2009 |01-26-2009 |02-02-2009 |02-09-2009 |
|02-16-2009 |02-23-2009 |03-02-2009 |03-09-2009 |03-16-2009 |
|03-23-2009 |03-30-2009 |04-06-2009 |04-13-2009 |04-20-2009 |
|04-27-2009 |05-04-2009 |05-11-2009 |05-18-2009 |05-25-2009 |
|06-01-2009 |06-08-2009 |06-15-2009 |06-22-2009 |06-29-2009 |
|07-06-2009 |07-13-2009 |07-20-2009 |07-27-2009 |08-03-2009 |
|08-10-2009 |08-17-2009 |08-24-2009 |08-31-2009 |09-07-2009 |
|09-14-2009 |09-21-2009 |09-28-2009 |10-05-2009 |10-12-2009 |
|10-19-2009 |10-12-2009 |10-26-2009 |11-02-2009 |11-09-2009 |
|11-16-2009 |11-23-2009 |11-30-2009 |12-07-2009 |12-14-2009 |
|12-21-2009 |12-28-2009 |01-04-2010 |01-11-2010 |01-18-2010 |
|01-25-2010 |02-01-2010 |02-08-2010 |02-15-2010 |02-22-2010 |
|03-01-2010 |03-08-2010 |03-15-2010 |03-29-2010 |04-05-2010 |
|04-12-2010 |04-19-2010 |04-26-2010 |05-03-2010 |05-10-2010 |
|05-17-2010 |05-24-2010 |05-31-2010 |06-07-2010 |06-14-2010 |
|06-21-2010 |06-28-2010 |07-05-2010 |07-12-2010 |07-19-2010 |
|07-26-2010 |08-02-2010 |08-09-2010 |08-23-2010 |08-30-2010 |
|09-06-2010 |09-13-2010 |09-20-2010 |09-27-2010 |10-04-2010 |
|10-11-2010 |10-18-2010 |10-25-2010 |11-01-2010 |11-08-2010 |
|11-15-2010 |11-22-2010 |11-29-2010 |12-06-2010 |12-13-2010 |
|12-20-2010 |12-27-2010 |01-04-2011 |01-10-2011 |01-17-2011 |
|01-24-2011 |01-31-2011 |02-07-2011 |02-14-2011 |02-21-2011 |
|02-28-2011 |03-07-2011 |03-14-2011 |03-21-2011 |03-28-2011 |
|04-04-2011 |04-11-2011 |04-18-2011 |04-25-2011 |05-02-2011 |
|05-09-2011 |05-16-2011 |05-23-2011 |05-30-2011 |06-06-2011 |
|06-13-2011 |06-20-2011 |06-27-2011 |07-04-2011 |07-11-2011 |
|07-18-2011 |07-25-2011 |08-01-2011 |08-08-2011 |08-15-2011 |
|08-22-2011 |08-29-2011 |09-05-2011 |09-12-2011 |09-19-2011 |
|09-26-2011 |10-03-2011 |10-10-2011 |10-17-2011 |10-24-2011 |
|10-31-2011 |11-07-2011 |11-14-2011 |11-21-2011 |11-28-2011 |
|12-05-2011 |12-12-2011 |12-19-2011 |12-26-2011 |01-02-2012 |
|01-09-2012 |01-16-2012 |01-23-2012 |01-30-2012 |02-06-2012 |
|02-13-2012 |02-20-2012 |02-27-2012 |03-05-2012 |03-12-2012 |
|03-19-2012 |03-26-2012 |04-02-2012 |04-09-2012 |04-16-2012 |
|04-23-2012 |04-30-2012 |05-07-2012 |05-14-2012 |05-21-2012 |
|05-28-2012 |06-04-2012 |06-11-2012 |06-18-2012 |06-25-2012 |
|07-02-2012 |07-09-2012 |07-16-2012 |07-23-2012 |07-30-2012 |
|08-06-2012 |08-13-2012 |08-20-2012 |08-27-2012 |09-03-2012 |
|09-10-2012 |09-17-2012 |09-24-2012 |10-01-2012 |10-08-2012 |
|10-15-2012 |10-22-2012 |10-29-2012 |11-05-2012 |11-12-2012 |
|11-19-2012 |11-26-2012 |12-03-2012 |12-10-2012 |12-17-2012 |
|12-24-2012 |12-31-2012 |01-07-2013 |01-14-2013 |01-21-2013 |
|01-28-2013 |02-04-2013 |02-11-2013 |02-18-2013 |02-25-2013 |
|03-03-2013 |03-11-2013 |03-18-2013 |03-25-2013 |04-01-2013 |
|04-08-2013 |04-15-2013 |04-22-2013 |04-29-2013 |05-06-2013 |
|05-13-2013 |05-20-2013 |05-27-2013 |06-03-2013 |06-10-2013 |
|06-17-2013 |06-24-2013 |07-01-2013 |07-08-2013 |07-15-2013 |
|07-22-2013 |07-29-2013 |08-05-2013 |08-12-2013 |08-19-2013 |
|08-26-2013 |09-02-2013 |09-09-2013 |09-16-2013 |09-23-2013 |
|09-30-2013 |10-07-2013 |10-14-2013 |10-21-2013 |10-28-2013 |
|11-04-2013 |11-11-2013 |11-18-2013 |11-25-2013 |12-02-2013 |
|12-09-2013 |12-16-2013 |12-23-2013 |12-30-2013 |01-06-2014 |
|01-13-2014 |01-20-2014 |01-27-2014 |02-03-2014 |02-10-2014 |
|02-17-2014 |02-24-2014 |03-03-2014 |03-10-2014 |03-17-2014 |
|03-24-2014 |03-31-2014 |04-07-2014 |04-14-2014 |04-21-2014 |
|04-28-2014 |05-05-2014 |05-12-2014 |05-19-2014 |05-26-2014 |
|06-02-2014 |06-09-2014 |06-16-2014 |06-23-2014 |06-30-2014 |
|07-07-2014 |07-14-2014 |07-21-2014 |07-28-2014 |08-04-2014 |
|08-11-2014 |





[ back to sublime main ]