OF THE WEEK
A 12 year old boy was doing his homework when he was puzzled by an
English question. So he asked his father, Dad whats the difference
between potentially and realistically? Well his father said, Go ask
your mom if she would have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars,
then ask your sister the same question, then ask your older brother
the same question... So off he went, he asked his mom first Mom would
you have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars? his mom replied
I would have sex with any man for a million dollars Brad Pitt would
just be a bonus. Then he asked his sister the same question her response
was also that she also would have sex with Brad Pitt or any man for
a lot less than a million dollars. He then asked his brother Big Bro
would you have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars? Yes I would
his brother replied as a matter of fact I would have sex with any
man for a million dollars. The boy returned to his father. his father
said "well"? the boy replied and then the father says -- "well from
what I gather Potentially were sitting on 3 million dollars, realistically
were living with 2 sluts and a fag!!"
OF THE WEEK
Gallery - When two is just not enough.
Yapoo Bush - Yahoof
Live Maiming - Cutting of legs live.
-Protect Kids from Masturbation!
- Can you get a life.
CountDown - Do Americans really Suck.
If $5.75 sounds like a reasonable price to you for a 12-ounce can
of Miller Lite, stop reading. If youíre sick of padding A-Rodís plumptuous
pockets when all you want to do is get drunk and surly at the ballpark,
order one of those gourmet beers, finish it, and head to the bathroom.
Throw a little water on the front of your shirt, and proceed to another
vendor claiming that some crummy kid ran by and knocked your full
beer all over you. Show them your empty cup, and boom! You just got
yourself a free beer!
submitted by Nick
Hey man, I'm an 18 year old virgin and just met this chick that
lives around 60 miles away. I haven't gone to see her yet and I
don't have much time to work on her. I'm not that smooth as it is
and I was wondering if you could give me some advice on what to
do to get laid. Help me out man!
as rob shenieider from waterboy would say "you can do it!" nailing
a chik is a lot easier than you think. the first thing to keep in
mind is that your attitude is everything. you have to be confident
BUT NOT cocky. you have to make her think that sex is not the only
thing on your mind. if you are all sexed up and always talking and
making jokes about sex she will think you are some kind of perv.
this is why every time you talk to her or spend some time with her
you have to rub one out first. this makes ALL the difference in
the world. your whole demeanor will be much different and you just
won't have that horny toad edge. the other great thing to do is
let her see you in your domain. let her see you do something that
you excel at. if you are really good at a sport invite her to a
game, if you teach something invite her to watch you teach...anything
where you are in your element. since you are 60 miles apart this
may be difficult. so instead go to her town and put together a nice
date (planned before hand). use the net to find a good place to
go and have everything planned ahead of time. there is no worse
way to start off a date than by asking a girl where she wants to
go. remember to be cool, calm, and collect during the date. be nice
to everyone (waiters, cabbies, etc..) and remember this keyword...indifference.
when you act like there is nothing that can be thrown your way to
fuck your shit up and that if you don't bang her tonight it is no
big deal it will drive her crazy. chiks are used to getting hit
on left and right and cheese balls bending over backwards to get
in their pants. when you don't play any of those games it sends
a girls head for a spin. she starts wondering why you are not acting
like every other dip shit that she runs into and she starts to see
you in a whole new light. so, you have the attitude down...now you
just need a few date tips. be a gentleman! open doors for her, pull
out her chair, get her coat, etc.. this is very important...plus
it is something you should get in the habit of doing anyways. don't
let those women libbers fool you...a woman LOVES to be treated like
a woman. take notice of something nice or cute about her outfit
and give her a little comment about it. the other important thing
is to not be a cheapo...that is a real turn off for chiks and no
one likes a cheapo anyways. also..make sure to keep the wine flowing
(pick a nice red like a tignanello, cabreo or amarone). now the
last important thing to remember to do on the date is to not talk
about yourself the whole time...that will really piss off a chik.
if you have adhered to all this so far then things should be looking
very good by the time you get home. play it cool and look at her
body english. if she is sitting close to you and is leaning towards
you when she talks that is a good sign. if she is exhibiting this
type of body english and you feel like it is the right time lean
in and confidently ask her if you can kiss her. if she says yes
(or more often than not will kiss you as soon as you say this) you
are money -- if she says no...NO big deal. just give a warm smile
and say "sorry..i just thought a kiss would be nice" and then drop
it. do not try and kiss her again -- simply continue the nice evening.
there is always tomorrow. not to mention you are only 18 and chiks
really don't start banging like nothing on the first date until
they are around 24. ;-) now if you got the kiss kicking then just
go with the flow...take your time! there is no rush and the signals
will be very strong on how far she wants you to go. if you do get
her in the sack don't even think about busting a nut and not getting
her off. that will be the last time you here from her. making her
cum like crazy is a whole other animal but just keep in mind to
take your time. so that is it...follow these steps and you will
be in her pants in not time. oh...btw, you can ignore all this if
you are rich and have a huge cock.
OF THE WEEK
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Video contributions or suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
July marked the appearance of a glossy, 32-page publication,
Mainline Lady, funded by the Health Ministry in the Netherlands
and designed to resemble a newsstand fashion magazine, for the
purpose of helping drug-addicted women feel better about their
health and appearance. Included are articles on rejuvenating
heroin-ravaged dry skin, putting on weight, and disguising needle
marks with makeup, as well as an upbeat horoscope column tailored
to the everyday problems of drug addicts. [Fox News-The Times
THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!
This is your chance to make a difference!
Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture
below. If you win you get a free sublime T!
"Andy Dick's rehab photo" -Justin
"Rule number three is on appropriate clothing for picking up chicks
at a Star Trek convention" - Grandy
"Hi my name is Steve and I am a virgin!" -D