For The Week Of 08/13/2007
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Little Johnny kept getting into trouble for disrupting his third grade class, seems he was regularly busting out obnoxiouysly loud farts. His teacher kept him after school to have a talk with him and, maybe, resolve the problem. When she insisted on knowing why he exhibited such offensive behavior, Little Johnny said, “I do it because I can do it better than anybody, and I’m proud of it.” The teacher, in a moment of despiration, says, “If I show you I can do it better than you, will you stop?” Little Johnny agreed and the teacher placed two pieces of paper on the floor with identical piles of chalk dust on each one. Johnny dropped his pants, squatted down, farted and blew all but a tiny little speck of dust off the paper. The teacher dropped her panties, lifted her skirt, squatted down and farted but when she was done, there wasn’t a trace of chalk dust left on the paper. Johnny was astonished and asked if he could see her do it again. She was willing and as she repeated the process, Johnny peeked underneath her skirt. “No wonder you won!” he exclaimed indignantly,”you’ve got a Double-Barrel!”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Career Saver? -Porn Solution!
Top Ten... -Inventions!
Logo Letdown -Bonehead Marketing!
50 Hottest -Women in Music!
Your Turn -Produce the film!
Bloxorz!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
HOW TO GET RID OF SWEAT STAINS
First thing you might want to try to get rid of armpit stains is a simple spot treatment, like those made by Clorox. You'll want to do this immediately after you've come home from either a long day or work or a sweaty day at the gym. Just dab a little on both pits--even if you don't see a stain forming yet--and let it sit for a few minutes. put a couple of teaspoons on the spot, rub it in a little, let it sit, and then throw it in the wash (but only with other whites). You'll want to make a paste with the powder. About a tablespoon of boric acid mixed with a little bit of water should be enough to spread over, and work into, the fabric surrounding the pits of one shirt. Let that sit for about half an hour, then brush off any crusties with scotch pad and throw that shirt in the wash. If none of this is getting rid of sweat stains, you may want to consider trying an Enzymatic Cleaner. Alcohol-based cleaners like those found in Baby Wipes will, apparently, get rid of armpit stains--and they're safe to use on colors. Alcohol is a great solution because it's a powerful solvent--meaning it will dissolve just about anything (including aluminum salts!)--and it evaporates just as quickly, leaving you with no residue or smell.

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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Jadah
I am an 18-year-old male and have recently become sexually active. I have a fear of coming during oral sex. I don’t feel comfortable ejaculating in my lover’s mouth, which leads to a loss of erection and a temporary ability to become sexually aroused. Is this normal? What can I do?

A:
Many men experience a fear of ejaculation for various reasons. Whether they’ve had a negative experience with ejaculating in the past or they have some other psychological stigma attached to it, it’s a common problem with a possible solution. If you can’t think back and recall a moment in your sexual history that could have prompted such a fear in you, you can chalk all this up to being a newcomer in the world of sexual activity. Sometimes, a fear of ejaculation stems from performance anxiety -- from the worry of not being able to perform adequately or to your partner’s liking. If you only experience this fear when it comes down to oral sex and ejaculating in your partner’s mouth, the solution is quite clear: Don’t ejaculate in her mouth. If you experience this fear during oral sex no matter where you ejaculate, practice makes perfect. In other words, try getting used to the idea of manual stimulation through masturbation until you reach the point where you’re confident in your abilities to share them with your partner.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Better than yo-yo ma!

 
 


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Man tries to take crocs, snakes on plane
Sun Aug 12, 6:39 AM ET
CAIRO, Egypt - It was very nearly a real-life version of "Snakes on a Plane." A man was stopped at Cairo's airport just moments before he boarded a Saudi Arabia-bound plane with carry-on bags filled with live snakes, as well as a few baby crocodiles and chameleons. Security officials became suspicious of the 22-year-old Saudi man's bags when the X-ray machine at the departure gate gave odd readings. Police said they opened the bags and found a large number of reptiles, including at least one cobra, squirming to escape. The animals were confiscated and turned over to the Cairo Zoo and the man was allowed to board his flight home. Transporting live reptiles out of the country is illegal in Egypt, but the passenger said he was unaware of the ban and that the snakes, crocodiles and chameleons were needed by a Saudi university for scientific experiments, police said. In May, another Saudi man was caught at the Cairo airport carrying 700 live snakes in his carry-on luggage. He told authorities that snakes were often kept in Saudi Arabia by storekeepers in glass jars or used as pets.
 
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"Michelob Light’s version of the Budweiser Clydesdale."-Doug
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