For The Week Of 08/13/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really!" said the manager.
"My wife is from Canada!"

"No shit! Who did she play for?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Thanks -Textbooks!
Animated -Pizza GIFs!
Unrustle -Your Jimmies!
A Map -Of the Internet!
LP Covers -Recreated w/ Socks!
Loneliness -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
CloudPlay Pulls Songs from iTunes, SoundCloud, etc.

Mac: You have a ton of different options for pulling songs from the internet and creating playlists. CloudPlay is a Mac app currently in beta that lets you create playlists based on sources ranging from iTunes, SoundCloud, YouTube, and online radio. CloudPlay sits in the menu bar and plays while you work. All you need to do is type in an artist you want to listen to, and then dump songs from various sources into one playlist.

You can create as many playlists as you want, or hunt down new ones right from the app. It's simple, but works really well.
You can download the beta version for free right now from the CloudPlay developer's web site.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Prince

I'm having trouble pleasuring my girlfriend the way I would like to. I don't want to be judged for my problem: I don't last more than a few minutes and its frustrating:( if there's anything I can do I'd be more than happy to try.

A:
I would say extend foreplay: do more oral on her to make sure she cums. To help with cumming early, use the start-stop method (she can help)...as long as she's satisfied first it will help your relationship.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Olympic Godzilla


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BLUE GRASS, IA -- A Blue Grass man was arrested early Monday morning after Rock Island police found him naked and covered in cooking spray. According to police records, Chad William Forber, 41, of 6020 145th St., Blue Grass, was arrested at 3:27 a.m. Monday in the 2200 block of 3rd Avenue. Rock Island County Circuit Court records indicated that he was charged Monday with one count each of possession of less than 5 grams of methamphetamine, resisting or obstructing a peace officer and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Deputy Rock Island police chief Jeff VenHuizen said police were called for a report of a naked man on the sidewalk. When officers arrived, he said, they found Mr. Forber wearing only a towel and carrying a pair of shorts.

Mr. Forber reportedly told police he took the shorts off because they were too big and would not stay on. Deputy Chief VenHuizen said people had reported seeing Mr. Forber in The District earlier in the evening. "He had been seen standing naked in front of one of the establishments down there," he said. "He had lathered himself up with Crisco cooking spray." After repeatedly telling Mr. Forber to put the shorts on, officers arrested him, Deputy Chief VenHuizen said. When they searched his shorts, he said, they found a small amount of what they believe to be methamphetamine in his pocket. He said Mr. Forber also was carrying a container of cooking spray. A Rock Island County Jail staffer said Mr. Forber was in custody on Monday afternoon. His bond was $40,000.
 
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Winner
"Heisenburg...you look ridiculous..." -Gregg

Runner-up
"I say, what a fancy place to have brunch!" -Lucie



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