For The Week Of 08/14/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Jaisen Crockett -The Photography of
Mike's Office -Great Prank
Karma Sheet Ra -Cheat Sheet.
MC PLUS PLUS -Nerd Rap
PhotoShop-Tutorials
High Wheels -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Swanky Hotels!
When making an advance hotel reservation, book a luxury suite with your credit card. Once you arrive at the hotel, explain that you reserved a regular room, not a suite, and that you donít want to pay for one. If the hotel is fully booked, you will get to keep the suite, and be charged only for a regular room. I got away with this in Atlantic City! contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by J
Iíve heard that in order to make sex last longer, the guy must pull out before he comes, wait for a minute or so, and then start again. Thatís all fine and good, but how I can do this without the girl knowing thatís what Iím trying to do?
A:
Distract her with subterfuge, dude. The next time you pull out to avoid blowing off, donít just lie there counting, ďone, big elephant; two, big elephantÖĒ Dive down and make yourself useful. Once you place your kisser on her, your gal will likely be too preoccupied to ponder your motivation. If she does ask, a simple, ďI couldnít stop thinking about it, baby,Ē ought to suffice. And, you know, you donít have to de-sheath your sword entirely in order to stave off the big O. Just stop moving for a minute. Again, act as though you were too distracted by her luscious lips (the ones on her face) and lay a big kiss on her. In fact, thereís no need to pretend; you should really mean it. You can also last a little longer if you relax and minimize tension in your butt and pelvic muscles. Yes, I know, those puppies are your thrusters; so go for the non-thrusting positions. Roll onto your back and do your own remake of Woman on Top. You may also want to investigate some over-the-counter sprays that can help desensitize your buddy. Finally, Iíll leave you with some food for thought: Why not just be honest? Despite what you may have been told, trickery isnít the best way to run a relationship. Besides, an admission along the lines of, ďBaby, youíre so beautiful, I just want to do it with you as long as possible,Ē is bound to fall sweetly on her ears.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Britney On Drugs!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
An 88-year-old Indian farmer has become one of the oldest men ever to become a dad. Virmaram Jat has been trying for a son for 60 years. The mother is his third wife Gammo Devi, 45 years his junior. Virmaram, who already has a daughter of 16, lives in a remote mud hut in India with his family and tends cattle, goats and camels. According to the Sun he said: "I am a farmer with simple needs. I have intercourse daily and the best time is between 2am and 4am. "I will try to have more children. It is up to God whether he blesses me. I don't want to live for 100 years but my desire is that as long as I live, I enjoy my sexual life." Virmaram's 85-year-old first wife, who still lives with him, helped choose the mum and assisted at the birth. His nephew, 60, has vowed to raise the boy when he dies. The world's oldest recorded dad was Aussie Les Colley, who was 92.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Cutting out the middle man."-Steve
Runners-up
"A pot to piss in and a pitcher to drink out of ! What more could you ask for?"-Sung
"In the with good, out with the bad"-Greg
"How many times have I told you. You don't buy beer, you rent it. !"-Tia



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