For The Week Of 08/17/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap. "Why so little," she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing. When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Bob!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Hot '80s -Babe Posters
Nightmarish -Sex Toys
Horrendous -Sex Injuries
Purposeful -Product Placement
Babes Wearing -Short-Shorts
P3R A5P3RA -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Kaboom Gives You Self-Destructing Messages

Android/iOS: “Self-destructing messages” are mostly BS. There’s no way to ensure the message is ever really gone, and most apps require all your friends to sign up just to share messages. Kaboom solves at least the latter problem, by letting you share those timed messages anywhere, with anyone. Once installed, you can craft your text or photo message, and tell the app when you want the message to “expire,” or self-destruct. You can tell the message to vanish in as little as a few minutes (the clock starts after the message is opened by the recipient) or in months or years; it’s entirely up to you. Then, instead of only being able to share the message with other Kaboom users, you can share your message using any social network or messaging service you want.

Twitter and Facebook work, or you could use WhatsApp or Hangouts.

You could even use plain old email or SMS, or copy a direct link to your clipboard to send manually however you want. The big feature is that you get the whole self-destructing message thing without forcing all your friends to use the same service you do to take advantage of it. Plus, it doesn’t require Kaboom be super-popular just to be useful. Kaboom is by the same folks behind the freemium VPN Hotspot Shield, which I mention not as a nod to its security, but just to explain that it’s a mature product. Like any self-destructing message service, you have no guarantee that your message is really gone, or that the person you sent it to hasn’t downloaded it, saved it, screenshotted it, or whatever.

Kaboom doesn’t talk about encryption or security, or promise the message isn’t stored somewhere on their servers. Keep that in mind, and use apps like this for fun—not for truly secure communications.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by RICHIELIONHEART

"This is for the ladies but men feel free to jump in and answer as well. I have a question I want to know what's more important to a woman the way a guy looks or if he can hold a decent conversation. Also what's a good way to start a conversation with a woman"

A:

"My gf and I met online and she didnt ask for a picture until she already agreed to meet me and when we met she said good your not ugly so I think women want a man who can hold a conversation. And start simple. Hi my name is.. I noticed your... and wanted to talk."

-Lovestoeat

Source
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Tundra Twerk Team


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
FLORIDA -- Boyd Gene Wiley, a 47-year-old Florida man who apparently really loves him some weed, marched into a local sheriff's office Monday and accused detectives of stealing his massive crop of marijuana plants, police said. Wiley wanted to complain to a supervisor that he was growing medical marijuana, but since that's still totally illegal in Florida, the man was arrested on the spot. A housing code enforcement officer spotted a few plants during a routine inspection of Wiley's property last Friday, according to the sheriff's office. When a group of detectives drove over to see what was up, they found 91 marijuana plants, and spent the next few hours "eradicating" them. The detectives had been trying to track down who owned the property for a few days when Wiley walked into the sheriff's office to complain about his stolen weed, and pegged the blame on the cops. He was arrested on production of marijuana charges, which is a felony, and was released on a $1004 bond later that night. Somehow, the fiasco didn't end there. On Thursday, Wiley was arrested for the second time after he allegedly slammed a neighbor who owed him money over the head with a shovel. He called the cops again, this time to let them know he had been hit in the face during the brawl. Wiley was arrested for aggravated battery, and again released on bail.
 
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"Glass half-full: a girl with a beer belly that gives great head."-Chas

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"Try our all-new Mother's Milk Private Stock Ale."-Richard



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