For The Week Of 08/23/2010
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man walks into a bar, grinning from ear to ear, absolutely overjoyed. 'Why so happy?' said the barman. 'Well...' began the man, 'last night while walking home past the railway line I noticed a girl was tied to the tracks. I quickly ran over and untied her, and, in her state, decided it best to bring her home. We got back to my place and before I knew it we just started making love, the most amazing sex--cowgirl, anal, titty job, you name it. It was amazing, sublime!' 'Excellent!' said the barman 'How was the blowjob?' 'I don't know' said the man, 'I never found her head'.

SITES OF THE WEEK
The Ugly -Dance!
My High -Night!
Once Upon A -Title!
wtfshouldidowithmy -Life!
Zombie Survival Tactics That will Get You -Killed!
Yo Ho Ho Cannon -Game of the Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Worst Case Dating Scenarios!

Tip #1: She gets completely blasted off her ass. She’s gone and so is the food that she’s had in her stomach. Gone is the hottie sipping a Cosmo; now you have a boisterous, nasty wino. At some point during the night, she crashes face first into the pavement. So what do you do? Solution: End the date and call her a cab. Forget trying to salvage the date or see if she sobers up to being cute and sexy again. Be on the level because you don’t want to be accused of taking advantage of her at all.

Tip #2: Don Juan and Romeo, look out. You were set to be the smoothest man alive from sundown to sunup. But your date had other plans and you weren't included in them. As your laying your groundwork and looking over the menu, she’s putting on her coat and saying bye. Worse still is the hell that your boys are going to give you when you come home early with your tail between your legs. Solution: Go meet the guys and have a good night with them. Own the bad night and keep your head up. No strip clubs, though; that’s just depressing.

Tip #3: Didn’t know Goliath was out at the clubs tonight, did you? Well, your sweetness has decided to piss him off. Drunk or just a beautiful pain in the ass, she’s turned something like a bump or a stepped-on shoe into World War III. Unfortunately, you’re the only soldier in the battle as she steps back so you can fight the fight. Solution: Side with him. Tell him that she was being provocative for no reason. Cite her immature behavior and let her storm off, then knock back a scotch with him. You may have just made a new friend -- and a big one at that.

Tip #4:Maybe it’s the appetizers or nerves, but the butterflies in your stomach come flying out. You start with the bubble guts and go into full-blown chunk-blowing. Worse yet is that some of your undigested stomach goodness finds itself on your beautiful dream girl. Now you’re embarrassed and sick. Solution: Be as dignified as possible. Compose yourself as best as you can. Tell her that you clearly need to get home and ask her to wait outside while you clean up (spare her from looking at your puke). Be generous with the tip, keeping clean-up in mind.

Tip #5: She seemed like a great date -- in your mind when you first saw her at the coffee shop. In reality, she’s a hellion who is going off on you. Something big, something small, it doesn’t make a difference because she’s roaring at you. Everyone around you is staring at this spectacle and you’re trying to save face and shut the scene down (and her up). Solution: Let her win. This girl is obviously damaged, and trying to find out what set her off is pointless. Get the check fast and get out. Forget that next date; let her argue with your voice mail

Tip #6: All was going well, great even. Unfortunately, in scanning the room, one of you notices an ex. Maybe she sees the guy who put their sex life on the internet or you see the girl who cleaned you out. Just in time for the entree, the past has returned and has gutted one of you like a fish. And you thought you were over the ex? Solution: Relax. The past is really the past, and your ex is not with you (or her) for a good reason. Be cool and casual. If you bump into each other, make the introduction and move on. While there may be the impulse for PDA, fight the urge. That’s petty and that’s not you.

Tip #7: You tried to be a big baller, but when that card gets declined, your balls shrink. Few things make for an uncomfortable date like not being able to pay. You even ask the waiter or waitress to try again or use a different card. However, it’s the same result. Your date offers to pay and now you feel embarrassed -- and broke. Is there any other option besides trying to cut your own throat with your busted card? Solution: Play it cool -- don’t look flustered or fazed. Take the hit and tell her that you have to run to the bank machine. Be quick and efficient about doing so. Settle the bill before returning to the table. Afterward, over a post-dinner drink, you can explain why your card was rejected. Use cash to pay for the drinks.

Tip #8: Some caveman managed to walk upright long enough to proposition your date. Maybe he’s some Abercrombie model who shoots your girl the come-hither, I-have-a-flashy-car look. You initially want to flare nostrils and knuckle up. Especially when he threatens you with a beat down after he hits on her. Solution: Without a flat-out argument, man up, draw a line in the sand and let him know that his actions are unacceptable. If he works at the establishment, ask to speak to the manager and make your dissatisfaction known. Get this dude out of your face, away from your date and get things back on track.

Tip #9: Things were going well. So well that you two are now in bed, on the floor or on the washing machine and it’s on. But no one told Mr. Happy that he was also invited to the post-dessert dessert and you can’t get an erection. Your cobra has been defanged and your love missile won’t leave the silo. Solution: Take it south. If your regular star player won’t play, call in the backup plan: oral sex. Make it so good for her that she forgets about your preceding failure. Listen to what she wants and let your tongue tell her that you’re more than a man; you’re a legend -- even one with a limp noodle.

Tip #10: In the backseat or bedroom, she blocks you from the glove. But you still give her the love. Several weeks or so later, she comes to tell you that you treated her to more than great dinner and sex. You got spermjacked, and your life as you know it is over. You weren't even sure you would go on a second date and now you’ll be going on ultrasound appointments. Solution: No solution here -- you’re screwed. Do some damage control by determining what type of sperm-jacker got you and what your levels of commitment are.
Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q:submitted by: Kris

Hi, I'm a 24 year old male and My girlfriend is also 24. My girlfriend gets multiple orgasms durng sex, i can feel it through her reactions and she too tells that however she tells that she is never satisfied even after having multiple orgasms. She asks me to continue when i am done with it and tired and cant continue anymore. Why is she not satisfied even after having multiple orgasms? Is there anything that i can do to make her satisfied?

A:
You could try different kinds of orgasms to see if anything hits the spot a little better. For instance, if all she has is g-spot orgasms, play with her clit and see if you can get her to cum that way. That may change the way she orgasms, which in turn may make things feel better. You could make sure she is pleased in more than one area, like her clit and nipples or even her ass and vagina if that what she's into. Other than that, you may just want to look into intense oral as foreplay and see if that does anything. Have fun.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Bitches Ain't Shit...
 
 

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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
AMITYVILLE, N.Y. (AP) - The owner of the New York house made famous in the 1979 film "The Amityville Horror" is holding a moving sale. The five-bedroom Dutch Colonial on Long Island has been on the market since May for $1.15 million and is under contract. Owner Brian Wilson is holding a moving sale Saturday. Items include furniture and exercise equipment, not loot from the house's infamous past. The Oscar-nominated film is based on the story of the Lutz family's brief stay in the house in 1975 after six members of the DeFeo family were shot and killed as they slept. Oldest son Ronald DeFeo Jr. was convicted. The crime spawned a book and a series of movies that chronicled various supernatural horrors, including visions of walls oozing slime and moving furniture.
 
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