For The Week Of 08/25/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting.

While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?' St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple. 'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?

SITES OF THE WEEK
Travelers -Sex Stats
Flamingos -Flock-A-Yard
Very Bizarre -Panoramic Shots
Top Fifty Icons -Of Sexuality
Sexiest Pornstars -On Instagram
Glue Knight -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Unpakt Compares and Offers Quotes for Movers Near You

Unpakt is a great tool to compare movers so you find a good one. Now the service has expanded into tons more cities and regions, and has a new "Quick Quotes" feature that offers near-instant quotes so you know how much getting your stuff to your new home will cost. Unpakt's new Quick Quotes is the big new feature here—in about a minute, after filling out some very basic information about your type of move and where you're headed, you'll get a rough estimate for how much it'll cost to move. If you like the price ranges you see, you can select specific movers that you can contact for more detailed quotes, complete with Unpakt's "Guaranteed Price" promise. Unpakt is a US only service, and supports over 282 metro areas in 48 US states. If you're not ready for a full quote, you can use the site's new moving cost calculator to get an idea of how much moving your stuff will cost you. If Unpakt doesn't work for you, try previously mentioned Moveline, or check out our guide to hiring good movers without going broke.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by NEVEREVERAGAIN

"OK so the other night an ex of mine came to my house in the middle of the night after a terrible date with her current bf and had sex with me I of course assumed we were getting back together only to find out SHE USED ME FOR SEX!!!!!! basically wham bam thank you Jake I was of course upset and to try and get even I decided if she could do it I could do it so I went to another kind of sort of ex of mine who did the same thing a few months ago only to find out about the double standard I mean what the fuck is up with this its just fucked up does anyone else agree"

A:

"Of course there is a double standard. There is a wide spread belief in our society that women GIVE sex to a guy and men TAKE sex from women. If you did the same to them as they did to you, you could well end up in jail. But it is perfectly fine for them to use you as if you're a dildo without any regard for your feelings. If you have a one-night stand with a woman you are accused of using her no matter how well she enjoyed it. If she has a one-night stand with you, you should be happy you got some -- to Hell with your feelings. It isn't going to change any time soon. The person who owns the pussy is the one who make the rules."

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Acrobatic Motorcycle Accident


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
MADRID, SPAIN -- What a boob! Spanish police have arrested a 43-year-old Venezuelan woman who landed in Madrid's international airport trying to smuggle 3.7 pounds of cocaine via her breast implants.

Narcotics agents started to suspect something was up while they were performing routine screenings of passengers who had arrived from Bogota, Colombia, and the woman began acting strange. Her luggage searches didn't reveal anything suspicious, but when female agents frisked her they noticed irregularities and deformities in both of the woman's breasts. The woman eventually copped to carrying implants stuffed with cocaine, according to a police statement. She was sent to a hospital and detained for an alleged crime against public health, the statement added. Surprisingly, stuffing breast implants with contraband is not uncommon, according to Dr. Matthew Schulman, a New York City board-certified plastic surgeon. "There were alerts put out several years ago about concerns about terrorists using breast implants as a way to move bombs, so it's one of those things in the plastic surgery community we are aware of," he said. "It's probably done more often than people realize." But how? Replacing the saline in a saline breast implant with cocaine, Schulman speculates. "There's obvious risks with that because it was probably not done under sterile conditions, so there's risk of infection and also the body absorbing that cocaine, which could cause sudden death from a cocaine overdose," he said. The woman might have thought she was in the clear because airport security personnel "are very reluctant to touch breasts" and other private parts, Schulman added. At Newark Liberty and John F. Kennedy International Airports, criminals have unsuccessfully tried to smuggle drugs via luggage hand rails and liners, and also by swallowing them, said Howard Cheng, a spokesperson for Customs and Border Protection in New York.

Spain has a specially employed unit to inspect passengers coming from countries with a history of major drug production.
 
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"Later they were both charged the two-drink minimum."-Robert

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"Surrounded by nude snatches since birth...what a mack!"-Nevin



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