For The Week Of 08/27/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel So good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! ... Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? ... He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker! He makes me run around the forest like an idiot each time he is on ecstasy!"
SITES OF THE WEEK
Feta Pets - Cutest Pets You Can Get!
Bristish Hygiene - British Health Care Doesnt Cover Teeth.
Grow A penis! -Everyone Has Hope!
crazy cheap - cheapest computers we've ever seen.
Harely G. String - Bachelor of the Week.
Bowling - Now You Dont Need A Date To Bowl!
TIPS & TRICKS
WIN AT POOL
While youíre chalking your pool cue, slyly dip your finger in your beer and rub some of it in the chalk before handing it to your opponent. Thisíll slick the other guys tip just enough to send the balls flying all over the table. If thatís not working for you, see if any women in the house have Chapstick. If you manage to score some, rub some of it into the house chalk. (Be sure to leave a clean one for yourself hidden somewhere close.) Thisíll really mess up their breaks and angle shots, leaving you free to rule the felt with a waxy fist.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Monk

I'm having a very difficult time maintaining an erection with my girlfriend. My erections when I'm with her are just not very hard, and they go away when I put a condom on. This has not happened before, and I think I'm too young to be goin impotent, but yeh, any advice? I dont seem to have trouble getting hard when viewing porn. And I have not had this problem in the past with other women. And it's not like my gf is ugly either, because she's really hot, and there's nothing I'd want to do more than to just be able to perform! I don't know what it is. Please help, thanks.

A:
not to worry monty. this is a very common problem. not to mention the whole jimmy situation never helps anything...those damn things are really annoying. so...the first part of your problem can be attributed to the jimmys but you have to wear those and there is nothing you can do about that. with that in mind, lets try and tackle another possible problem. my first clue to the problem you might be having is that you have never encountered this erection problem before and that you are young. i think that pretty much rules out the possibility of an actual medical condition. this problem seems to be a mental barrier of sorts. i think that although your girlfriend may be "hot" she simply might not turn you on. this happens all the time...you get a hot chik but she just doesn't have that certain something that makes you want to bend her over and stick your hot poker in her ass. here is a perfect example. who would you rather bang. cindy crawford or shannon elizabeth from apple pie. cindy crawford may be a supermodel and very pretty but i am pretty sure that most of you would want to toss shannon elizabeth's salad if you know what i mean. i think you girlfriend needs to turn up her slut factor just a bit. try having her bang 3 black guys in front of you...that will probably make you see her in a more sexual way. just kidding....try something like watching a porno with her or finding something that turns her on. i think if you can find a little bit more sexual energy in her you johnson will pay a little more attention. if none of this works and you truly find her sexy then you could be just psyching yourself out. getting a woody is a natural thing and as soon as you start trying to "make" one happen you can pretty much be sure that there is going to be no erection action. this is why you have no problems getting an erection while watching a porno. your are just chillin'...no stress situation waiting for your favorite chik to rub one out to. if you think you might be psyching yourself out and you need to get throught this slump i would suggest getting some viagra off one of the viagra sites. DISCLAIMER...i am NOT a doctor (ok...maybe of love) and you should see a real doctor before taking something like viagra....so don't sue me if you take the shit your dong falls off. i think you should give some of the things i mentioned above a try and if things don't turn "up" i think you should consider the fact that your g/f just does not turn you on. hope this helps and be sure to let us know how things go.

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Dancing Fool?!?!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "dance.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "dance.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Feel The Music!


Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Film turned up in July of tourist boat operations near Cape Jervis (near Adelaide), Australia, which ferried visitors so they could stand on a dead whale and watch great white sharks munch off the carcass; some tourists even posed for vacation photos petting the preoccupied sharks on the head (briefly). The local environmental minister said he was appalled and would ask for legislation "to protect people too stupid to protect themselves." WE AT SUBLIME ARE AGAINST THIS KIND OF LEGISLATION!

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"And all the white men gazed down in shame as Tyrone in the back pulled down his pants." - Joesph
Runners-up
"The cast of Beverly Hills 90218: The year: 2020" - Scott
"Opening night at the new adult resort - FEEDONISM!" -Gary

Archived Issues:
| 06-18-2001 | 06-25-2001 | 07-02-2001 | 07-09-2001 | 07-16-2001 |
| 07-23-2001 | 07-30-2001 | 08-06-2001 | 08-13-2001| 08-20-2001




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