For The Week Of 08/28/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win.

A year later they meet again: The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"

The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."

SITES OF THE WEEK
String Bikinis -Greatest Ever!
Crazy human Tricks -Google Video
Indexed -Life Told By Indexes!
Ebay -Ninjas Vs. Pirates
Slo-Mo-Home Depot
Reflex -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Bill Paying!
Spent the electric money gambling on the ponies at the merry-go-round again? (That pink horse was due, I tell you!) Don't shiver in the dark cursing when your service gets disconnected. Pay your bill through Western Union—but only pay a small fraction of what is due. If you owe $300, pay $10. Then call up your utility company and give them the payment confirmation number from Western Union. They'll turn the power back on. By the time they figure out your clever ruse, you'll have two more months of service contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Tanya
If a condom is stuck inside you, how do you get it out—without going to the doctor?
A:
The only safe way for you to retrieve that errant rubber is to fish it out with your—or better, his—fingers. Reach in and give it a grab first. Unless you’re ET, though, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to get it on your own, as the condom will probably be wedged up near your cervix (or in the area right behind it, the fornix). If that is the case, get your (hopefully well-manicured) man to give it a try. Lie back and spread, and have him feel up around the back of your trap. It might work best if he uses his fore- and middle fingers, so he can grab hold of the offending sin skin without scraping your insides. If those methods fail, suck it up and go to the gynecologist ASAP. (Don’t feel embarrassed, either. I’m sure the good doctor has seen much stranger objects trapped inside much stranger people.) She’ll remove the offending prophylactic with the help of a speculum, a bright light, and a pair of forceps operated by specially trained hands. Do not even think about leaving the condom in there, or you risk a whopping, stankin’, and potentially dangerous infection.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Idiot!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
WARSAW (Reuters) - Warsaw's symbol, a half naked mermaid, will have her chest covered on a poster promoting the Miss World competition after the original version was judged too erotic. "The way the artist drew it first, one of her breasts was covered and one wasn't," said Tadeusz Deszkiewicz, director of Warsaw's promotion bureau. "The combination was very erotic." The artist redrew the poster to include a sash over the mermaid's exposed breast. The Miss World pageant will be held in Warsaw on September 30. The mermaid, central to Warsaw's founding legend, is depicted in two statues in the capital and appears on the city's crest as naked from the waist up.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
""Add Boner, uh I mean Toner""-Kelly
Runners-up
"Just preparing my Holiday Cards"-Khhan
"Now are you sure this is a portable sunbed?"-Gary
“I may be blonde but I don’t think this is the water fountain!”-Robert



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