For The Week Of 08/29/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A woman is standing in line at the pearly gates talking to St. Peter when she hears an awful scream. "What was that!?" she asks. "Oh donít worry," St. Peter replies, "That was the person before you getting the holes drilled in their back for their wings." "Ouch," she blurts. Again she hears another ear-shattering scream. "Now what was that?" she inquires. St. Peter responds, "The same person was getting holes drilled in their head for a halo." Terrified the woman looks St. Peter in the eyes and says, "I think Iíd rather go to hell." He responds, "No, no you donít want to do that, youíll be raped and sodomized there!" The woman pauses and replies, "Well, at least I already have the holes for that!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Google Talk -Very Cool
The Rawker -Future Rock and Roll Star!
Desktop Image -Cool Things
Dust Devils-Mars Fun!
Bill Godberg Bike -FOr Sale
Four Leaf Clover -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Home Depot
When buying lumber at home depot and the like. The clerk will ask how many 2x4s you have. You have 40 but you tell her 32. Instant discount and they never check. Even if they check you have miscounted and done nothing wrong. Tip always get in the line of the youngest employee there.


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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Shooter
My roommate is jacking off all the time and it's driving me nuts. To make it worse, he leaves his cum-filled tissues and socks all over the floor by his bed. Last week, not realizing what it was, I picked up one of his kleenexes and threw it away. After I realized what I had touched, I scrubbed my hands for hours. Is it possible I can catch anything from his jizz rags?

A:
Dude, your roomie is a disgusting slob and you need to set some limits with him. That's the bad news. The good news is that it's pretty unlikely that you will pick up an STD from briefly handling his spunky litter. However, to be on the safe side, if in the future you ever have to touch any of his gunky stuff, use latex gloves, or better yet, a hazmat suit. Seriously, though, you need to let him know that you are not his mom (as if his mom would even pick up such filth), and he needs to clean up his act. Leaving cum-soiled rags around is not OK; move the waste basket next to his bed if he doesn't get the hint. And if his constant masturbating is disturbing to you or causing you to lose sleep, it's perfectly within your rights to ask him to indulge himself privately or when you're not around.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


NOT PARIS!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "notparis.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "notparis.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BERLIN (Reuters) - German police have arrested a 31-year-old man they caught vandalizing two cars by scratching large penis-shaped gouges into them and said they believe he may be responsible for similar markings found on hundreds of others. A police spokesman in the western city of Bochum said on Friday the man was under investigation for vandalizing around 330 vehicles in the region over the last few months, most of which had also been marked with the same penis insignia. The total damage may near 350,000 euros, he said. "Nearly all of them had this special motif," the police spokesman said. "He said he did it because he was mentally disturbed. I don't know if that was just a pretext." The suspect is now undergoing psychiatric treatment, he added.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"You're just jealous that I've been chatting with babes all day!"-Sub
Runners-up
"The first rule is - You do not talk about fight club"-Axe
"Napolean Dynamite 2: Lost In Cancun."-J



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