For The Week Of 09/01/2003
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to Please give us feedback too!


A man walks into his bedroom and finds his wife in bed with another man. “What are you doing?” he yells. “See?” the wife says to her lover. “I told you he was dumb.”

Counter -World Population
Boy Butter Lube -Good Times!
Britney Madonna Christina! -Shwing!
Total Hotness -Shwing Part Duex!
Fun With Adobe -Talented!
Operation Slaps -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Change Machines!
If you find yourself at the Laundromat (OK, arcade) and low on quarters and self-esteem, find a change machine, the kind in which you insert the dollar lengthwise into the automated sucker thingy. Acquire a crisp one- or five-dollar bill and crumple the ever-loving capitalism out of it. Then flatten it out and tear it from the bottom of the lower left-hand corner of the bill up about an inch between the first letter and number of the identification code. Next, insert the bill into the machine, ripped end last. It should stop at the tear and spit your bill out…but still give you your change. The machine simultaneously registers the bill as having been accepted, but rejects it due to the tear. This trick is absolutely amazing, but try not to use it in a crowded area. If you get caught, the arcade owner may tie you up and have little kids throw wet sponges at you.
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Q: I think I have a crush on my teacher and I don't know what to do. I just can't seem to control my feelings for him. Should I pursue it or just skip the class? submited by Tina

Neither. If you put moves on a teacher, there could be serious consequences for both of you; if you cut class, you're sacrificing your education. Lots of girls -- and guys too -- develop crushes on their teachers, finding them inspiring, kind, or just real good-looking. "Perhaps the reason you're attracted to him is because he's an authority figure you can actually respect," says Nancy Metzler Peterson, a nationally certified school psychologist in Illinois. That doesn't mean you and he are a good match. There are very strict laws about relationships between school personnel and students. If your teacher were to return your advances, he could lose his job and never be able to teach again. Would you want that to happen to someone you obviously care about? And if he doesn't return your feelings, the situation is just as messy. "You risk jeopardizing the positive relationship you have with him now," Peterson points out. "He may be very uncomfortable and treat you differently from the way he has in the past." That in itself can be painful. Besides that, your teacher is at a totally different stage of life. You wouldn't fit into his social circle; he may have a girlfriend or wife his own age. Bottom line: It's really not in anyone's best interest for you to make your feelings for him known, and you don't want to drop his class, either. Instead, stick with it and use your feelings in a constructive way. "Learn which attributes of his you admire," says Peterson. "It may give you an idea of the qualities you'd like to see in a future boyfriend." The guys you know might not live up this ideal right now, but somewhere down the line you'll meet someone who has everything (and more) that you saw in your teacher and is not in a position to flunk you for bombing a midterm. Meanwhile, if you become so preoccupied that your feelings for this man interfere with your schoolwork or your real social life, it might be time to talk to a guidance counselor or therapist. Remember, while it might seem an eternity to you, crushes don't last forever and you will get over him in time. We know everybody always says that -- but this time we guarantee it's true!


This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Chicken Dance!

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SAN JOSE, Costa Rica (Wireless Flash) -- Gamblers are scrambling for odds on football season, but one wagering website is betting that bettors will also be interested in a different kind of spread -- a nude photo spread. The website is currently offering odds on whether the girls in the pseudo-lesbian Russian pop group Tatu will bare their bods this year. The current odds are 5 to 1 that Tatu will strip naked for "Penthouse" by the end of the year. spokesman Peter Wilson admits folks won't wager as much on a nude spread as they would a point spread but he's banking things will change in the future. One sign he's on the money. The website is getting a great response from gamblers wanting wager if Arnold Schwarzenegger will say "Hasta la vista baby. I'll be back," if he loses the California recall election.

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"Momma just knocked you out!"-LL
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