For The Week Of 09/01/2014
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "Hmmm...I don't know if it's in yet--" "Yeah that's the one."

SITES OF THE WEEK
One Star -Book Review
Know Your -Whale Vaginas
Nude Yoga -Fave Positions
U.S. States -Ranked by Beer
Funny Moments -In Prostitution
Hammer Man -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Blur Launcher Turns Apps Into Google-Style Home Pages

Android: The Google Now Launcher's spiffiest feature is that you can swipe to the left to access Google Now. Blur Launcher (from the makers of Talon for Twitter and EvolveSMS) takes it a step further by letting you swipe to access other apps from the home screen. The one (pretty major) downside right now is that developers have to add this support in per app. At the moment, Talon and EvolveSMS are supported (naturally), but everything else is awaiting developer action. Blur also has its own Google Now-style page with info cards that developers can plug into. This is something that many users and devs alike have wanted for Google Now for a while, so it looks pretty promising. If you're not a fan of waiting for features to gain support, Blur is still a pretty attractive option. It's modeled almost exactly after the Google Now launcher, but includes many key features that launcher tweakers enjoy like custom icon packs, hiding specific apps, and changing fonts. If you're bored of Nova and Apex, Blur is an interesting, customizable option with or without the features that require third-party support.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Music02

"Most of the people I know are married so I often have go out on the weekends by myself and being a man in my mid-30's I stick out among a sea of early 20 somethings. Going out alone means you always come across cliques and groups of women that refuse to talk to people they don't know. Being at places around this type of crowd also means hearing drunk guys bragging about getting laid, I know it's often lies, yet it makes me feel like I'm not welcome in public. We all know that there are people that are just jerks, yet it's often difficult to go have fun without coming across these people. How can I find places to go out to on the weekends where I will feel safe and among others in a similar phase in life?"

A:

"I have been in the same situation as your are in now. Fortunately, I work in a very large company with several eligible women. I only needed to let the news out that I was getting a divorce to have many of them hitting on me. Outside of the workplace I found very limited opportunities. I joined a few clubs briefly only to find that there were not any women that I was attracted to. I tried online dating sites only to find that those women I found attractive highly misrepresented themselves. For a while, the word was that the best places to connect with women was at a supermarket. That didn't work well for me. Most opening lines made me sound like either a dumb ass or that I was hitting on them. Obviously, based on my experience, I would advise you to look for opportunities at your workplace, but your success would depend upon the number of eligible women work there."

-TrueLoveSwallows

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

New Way to Beat Super Mario Bros. - Level 1


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ALBUQUERQUE, NM -- An Albuquerque woman was arrested Wednesday afternoon after, police said, she tried to poison her roommates when they discovered she had been having sex with two German shepherds.

Shari Walters, 53, was in the Bernalillo County Jail Thursday charged with aggravated battery, cruelty or extreme cruelty to animals, and assault with intent to commit a violent felony. Walters’ criminal complaint says one of her roommates called the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Office approximately two weeks ago and reported she had been poisoned. The roommate says she previously caught Walters lying nude inside a shed on their property having sex with her dog, Spike, the complaint says. After the encounter, the complaint says, Walters admitted to having sex with both her roommates’ dogs. Walters was dating a male roommate and, according to the complaint, he broke up with her after the encounter. While having dinner the night after the encounter, both roommates noticed their food tasted different. One roommate stated that the water wasn’t very clear but drank it anyway. According to the complaint, Walters then asked her roommate, “Aren’t you going to eat?” The roommate then stated in the complaint that Walters attacked her and admitted to putting rubbing alcohol in both roommates' waters, as well as toilet bowl cleaner in their food, because the male roommate broke up with her. The primary household caregiver said he was worried the dogs would contract diseases he was aware Walters had, the complaint says. A veterinarian at the VCA Animal Hospital said both dogs suffered minor injuries and that any disease Walters may have been carrying couldn’t be transmitted to the dogs. The complaint says both roommates are receiving medical treatment due to the ingestion of the toilet bowl cleaner and the rubbing alcohol.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"EVER GOT DOUBLE-PENETRATED BY FLIPPERS, LADY??"-Chase

Runner-up
"Martha had no idea that dolphins loved MMF threesomes."-TJ



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