For The Week Of 09/03/01
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more Jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A rich guy and a poor guy are discussing what they bought their wives for their Anniversaries. The poor guy says, “So, what did you get your wife for your Anniversary?” “I bought her a fur coat and a BMW,” he says. “Wow,” says the poor guy. “Why did you buy her that?” “Because,” the rich guy says, “if she doesn’t like the fur coat, she can jump in the BMW and return it.” “What did you buy your wife?” asks the rich man. “I bought her a pair of bedroom slippers and a dildo.” “Why did you buy her that?” the rich guy inquires. “The way I figure it,” replies the poor guy, “if she doesn’t like her bedroom slippers, she can go fuck herself!!”
SITES OF THE WEEK
Dog Crap - Create Your Own!
Dancing Paul! -Get Your Groove On!
Mullet Game - Kill The Mullet Head.
TIPS & TRICKS
Get Money Back From Corporate
Despite the cold indifference of mega-normous corporate reichs bent on squeezing their customers of every remaining drop of plasma, you wield a lot more power than you think. Call up your cable or credit card company, long distance or cell phone provider, or AOL, and tell them you want to cancel your account because you found a better deal elsewhere. They’ll eat their own shit to keep you in their clutches. For example, your cable company will offer you free movie channels, such as HBO and Showtime, for staying with them. Your credit card company will re-negotiate your interest rate and maybe even late fees. Long distance and PCS carriers will offer you any one of a number of basement-rate per-minute plans, and possibly free months of service. For those who use AOL, they will offer you free months of usage, and sometimes will knock down their monthly charge. I got three free months myself, and now pay only $12.95 for 500 hours a month. If you need more than that, you’re a geek. UNTIL AND UNLESS ALL YOUR TIME IS SPENT ON SUBLIME.
ASK DOCTOR JD

Hey Doc JD,

Q: submitted by Scott

My wife and I are a young couple, and always fantasize about having another woman in bed with us. We sometimes rent a porn on Playboy channel and she loves it. She really wants another woman. But we have never really done anything about it. Well just recently she has been serious and said she REALLY wants to do it (thank you god!) anyway, how should we go about finding another woman? I heard swing clubs are good place....but we DO NOT want another man to be with us or even to watch....are there actually single woman at these places? I know looks arent a problem because we are both above average...its just finding a willing bi-female... thanks again JD....

A:
Looks like you've got the crucial ingredient to making a threesome become a reality...one willing girl. i say this because it takes only one chik to seal the deal with the second. most chiks are bisexual and it does not get any easier than a hot chik picking up another hot chik. there is one caveat though..the after math can be a bitch. it all depends on how far you go with the "other" chik. just watch your girl get it on with another girl..no sweat, grab the other girls tits and pussy a little..still smooth sailing, get into the realm of eating the other girl out or banging...oh mama. so if you think you are going to be with your chik for a really long time i suggest you take the chill route and just "play" with the other chik a bit. now there are pro level people that bang other people all the time, really do love each other tons and have no problems with the whole head trip...but being swingers is a whole new ball game and something i can not give advice on. so with all that in check lets talk about how you are going to make this dream a reality. the best place to pick up another chik for this threesome is a strip club. the chiks are drunk, they LOVE to party, and the smell of pussy is in the air. not to mention these girls are no stranger to the one night stand and are ready to be on there way usually the same night (which is good b/c who really wants to waste time with small talk after blowing the load of your life). bust a threesome with one of your girlfriends friends and you are just begging for trouble. let your girlfriend pick out a chik she likes and have her stay with you the whole night. just get table dance after table dance (hey..you are about to have two chiks munching box in front of you..it is not the time to be cheap). also...keep the alcohol flowing for the chiks! in the rare case that this stripper is not bi kick her in the ass and get another one (j/k give her a nice tip and tell her to go tell someone else about how her kid is a child prodigy). once you have found the right chik and the drinks are flowing it should be smooth sailing. have your g/f invite her over for a little more partying. if you have weed or coke now would be a good time to tell the nice stripper lady about the pounds of it you have at the house. i swear they should rename coke to "stripper bait." (btw..i am not making any endorsements for coke here i'm just stating some facts of life. chiks, especially strippers, love it..i happen to not really like it..so don't go emailing me if you are some pinhead with 5 "just say no" bumper stickers on your peugeot) anyways once you get the stripper back to the house and start partying things will just naturally happen...but, like i've said in previous issues, hot tubs and pools are always a good catalyst to nakedness. so it is easy as 1-2-THREEsome (ok bad joke..but they all can't be winners). make sure you email us to let us know how it goes so that we can put it up in the mailroom!

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


A girl that knows how to please herself!
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "squirtm.mpg" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "squirtm.mpg" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.


Fill her up!


Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Paul Morgan of Biloxi, Miss., has been busy the last few weeks lining up Web site viewers, at $20 each, to watch him slice off both his feet on Oct. 31 with a homemade guillotine. Morgan's feet are nonfunctional because of an automobile accident, and he wants hydraulically operated prostheses to make him more mobile, but this is the only way he knows to raise the $200,000 to buy them. Although traffic on CutOffMyFeet.com is heavy, as of mid-August, Morgan had signed up only 10 viewers.

 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the caption that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"I don't think freakin Peter Pan started like this." -David
Runners-up
"It wasn't the shame of the wedgie, nor the crushing pain on his balls; No, little Bobby was ashamed most of the fact that he was actually enjoying this" - Burritto Boy
"Sorry J.D. I will never touch your porn stash again. I promise!!!" -Scott

Archived Issues:
| 06-18-2001 | 06-25-2001 | 07-02-2001 | 07-09-2001 | 07-16-2001 |
| 07-23-2001 | 07-30-2001 | 08-06-2001 | 08-13-2001 | 08-20-2001 |
| 08-27-2001 |




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