For The Week Of 09/05/2011
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A man was leaving a coffee shop when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long, black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind him were 200 men, walking single file. The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss. I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my wife." "That's awful! What happened to her?" The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." "Gosh, I'm so sorry...Well, who's in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

"...Could I borrow that dog?"

"Get in line."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Cool -Infographics!
Awkward -Universe!
UHpinions -Stupid Reviews!
GIF.tv -GIFs on TV!
Dumbtweets -Stupid Updates!
Frantic Frigates -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Codeacademy is an App That Teaches You How to Code

Webapp Codecademy teaches you how to code using an interactive console, motivates your with badges, and walks you through lessons in a straightforward curriculum. Best of all, it's free. Whether or not you have any interest in programming as a full-time job, nearly anyone can benefit from a basic knowledge of scripting languages. (I sincerely believe this!) Currently the site only features one introductory course called Getting Started with Programming, but they allow experienced users to become teachers and submit their own lessons. In time, the site could be an excellent resource for polishing your programming skills.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by sg

I know how to eat pussy but I was wondering if there are any good tips or tricks to eating it better.

Keep in mind that I do have a quite the tongue already ;)

A:
I personally don't like it just focused on the clit. I love it when the person licks around the clit, on the inner lips and on the outer lips. A bit of change in the licking does also help. If you wanna do something REALLY good at the same time as you lick her, use a vibrating egg. Just enter the egg in the vagina after you have made her very horny, and put it on low vibrate. Use two fingers to play with the egg inside her, and lick her in the spots she likes best. When you have done that for a little while, you can turn UP the speed on the egg a bit more. This you can do as she gets closer to cumming.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Beach Sand Trap


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
BONN, GERMANY -- The German city of Bonn has installed a meter to tax prostitutes for soliciting on its streets at a rate of six euros (£5.30; $8.70) per night. Those who fail to pay face fines or even a ban, and 264 euros were found in the meter when it was first emptied, according to AFP news agency. Tax has been levied on prostitutes elsewhere but Bonn is the first city to use a meter, a spokeswoman said. But a prostitutes' rights activist said the scheme amounted to double taxation. Prostitutes are expected to pay the flat rate, regardless of earnings. The machine, which looks like an ordinary parking meter, has been installed in an industrial area near the city centre which favoured by prostitutes and their clients. Isabelle Klotz, a spokeswoman for the city, said they expected to get about 200,000 euros per year from the meter. "Thanks to this new method we will be able to tax them in all fairness with the others." There are believed to be about 200 prostitutes in Bonn. Juanita Rosina Henning, from the Dona Carmen prostitute support group, demanded the meter's removal, saying prostitutes already paid income tax. "This has nothing to do with fiscal equality," she said. City officials have restricted the prostitutes' areas of operation to specific quarters but critics say this has made it easier for prostitutes to ply their trade, Reuters news agency reports. Bonn has also erected "consummation areas", or wooden garages clients may use to visit prostitutes.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"One step closer and I'll deflate 'em." -Marty

Runner-up
"As you can see I'm strapped with major firepower." -Derek D



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