For The Week Of 09/07/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A couple wants to have a quickie but their son is in the house. So they tell him to go out on the balcony and tell them what's going on in the neighborhood while they do their thing. He proceeds to the balcony and begins reporting what he sees. "Looks like the Jeffersons got a new dog." he said. "Oh! And the Alans are moving out." he exclaimed. "Look at that. Looks like the Johnsons are having sex." The couple stops dead. "How do you know the Johnsons are making love?" said the boys father. After a short pause he replies, "Becase their kid is out on the balcony."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Death -To Bullshit
Hot Babes -Yoga Pants
TV Shows -In Reverse
United Slang -Of America
The Dirtiest -Simpsons Jokes
Introducing Bloup! -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
Drivemode Uses Gestures & Voice to Control Your Phone

Android: Controlling your phone while you drive isn’t terribly easy. Google Now and other voice assistants can do a lot, but Drivemode takes the idea a step further. It incorporates many of those voice commands with a simple, gesture and color-based interface that’s powerful without being distracting. You can see some of the features in the video above. Drivemode calls this their “no look” interface, and while the video certainly does a lot of “looking” as it were, most of the app’s features are simple gestures you’ll memorize quickly, and be able to perform without taking your eyes off the road. Plus, Drivemode responds to voice commands and feedback, reads text messages and other alerts to you aloud and lets you respond to them with your voice, and more. The various “modes” of the driving interface also work seamlessly with the apps you have installed, so launching Google Music today and Spotify tomorrow doesn’t require a ton of reconfiguring or settings tweaking. You can answer calls without interrupting navigation, and it’ll even automatically navigate you to a destination if you have an appointment (with a location) on your calendar and you get into the car. The app has been in beta for a while, and the dev team is great about incorporating suggestions from users into the app.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Someone9522

"im a 17 yr old male that hasnt really had a good past history with girls. but i did finally find one girl that hasnt been a total bitch to me. i had classes with her for almost 2 years before i decided to embrace friendship with her. anyway ive been close to her now for a couple months but for some reason i still have a feeling deep inside me thats telling me thats shes gonna screw me over one day like every other girl has. how can i get past this feeling? it bothers me all the time."

A:

"maybe she will maybe she wont but with every relationship u have to wipe the slate clean. give her a good honest fighting chance unless she gives reason otherwise."

-Lovestoeat

Source
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Don't Taunt


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ALTOONA, PA -- A man who allegedly threatened car dealership employees after dumping a bucket of cash over his head has waived his right to a preliminary hearing. That decision on Thursday means 53-year-old Perry Semelsberger, of Patton, must now stand trial or work out a plea agreement on charges including terroristic threats and reckless endangerment. Defense attorney John Kalenish declined comment on the bizarre case that police say began when Semelsberger walked into Courtesy Motor Sales in Logan Township on Aug. 25. After showering himself with $39,000 in cash, Semelsberger allegedly stuffed some money into the dress of a female worker, gave other money away then pulled a gun and threatened to blow up the dealership. Police say that happened after Semelsberger accused a worker of “shorting” him while Semelsberger tried to buy a vehicle.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference. Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

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This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"The door for Natty Light beershits is curiously absent."-Viker

Runner-up
"Liquor before beer...or lick her before beer. Either which way."-Thom



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|08-31-2015 |09-07-2015 |





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