An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, “Fluctuations.” The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”

Q: submitted by ryan

I love oral sex. But I find that the taste is often so bitter and leaves a bad after-taste. I have read somewhere that what you eat can improve or worsen the taste of your cum. Kind of the "you are what you eat" theory, I guess. All I can remember is celery and maybe fruits. Even though my girlfriend isn't a picky eater, I would still like to make it as pleasurable as possible for her down there (and vice-versa, of course). I'm sure everyone is different and cleanliness and communication are very important... but can you still give me a run-down on what you know of this? Not expecting a miracle, just some menu suggestions. Thanks.

A:
your semen, like your breath or perspiration, is unique to you. the contents of jizz are the following. 10% sperm and the rest consists of enzymes, vitamin C, calcium, protein, sodium, zinc, citric acid and fructose sugar. supposedly diet and exercise play only a very minor role to the smell and taste of your cum. i find this hard to believe..not to mention how easily would they be able to test something like that. imagine the ad in the college paper for that one! "looking for girl to participate in study to taste and smell a million samples of jizz." the things i could find that supposedly do noticeably affect the smell and taste of cum are the following. coffee and beer supposedly make it taste bitter. smoking can make it taste almost smoky. cauliflower, broccoli, onion, garlic or asparagus tend to make it very odorous and bitter. some say milk and dairy products can leave your sperm not tasting to tasty either. to make it taste lighter/better i've seen fruits and water mentioned a few times. from all the research i gathered that a balance diet and taking care of yourself is the best bet. it makes sense if you think about it. take care of your body and it tends to run great...don't take care of it and your jizz will taste like snot with anchovies in it! oh yeah, there actually is a product out their that claims to make your jizz taste good!

-JD