For The Week Of 09/12/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


One Day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Scarmageddon -Share Your Favorite Scars
Mr. Cheney -Press Confrence Interrupted by A Protestor
La Tomatina -Spain's Huge Tomato Fight Pics
B LOVE-Best Drunk Dial Ever
Wolf Ram -Make Your Own Ring Tones!
Pop Star Or Porn Star -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Golf Ball Makers
These days golf balls cost so much you almost need a co-signer. But here's a tip to keep your bag full of new balls, year round. On the back of most golf ball sleeves, there’s a guarantee of a new sleeve of balls for every “sliced ball” sent in. It’s worth your time to collect sliced balls from your buddies, the driving range, or even Ginsu up a few on your own. Sending back just four sliced balls will yield you a fresh dozen.

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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Matt
Me and my girlfriend had just finished having sex. I pulled off the condom and she wanted to go again after she got me hard. She stuck it in without putting another condom on. Is it possible for her to get pregnant from what might have been left on the end of my dick?

A:
D'oh! Unfortunately, yes, after you took that condom off there was enough baby gravy left on your dick to potentially impregnate your girlfriend. You might as well have suffered a condom mishap - slippage, breakage, etc. And in fact, if anybody asks, you might want to just tell them that that's what happened. Because if you tell them you took the condom off and then stuck it back in, you're going to have to endure a lot of forehead slapping and looks of disbelief. If it has been less than 72 hours since this incident, there's still time for your girlfriend to take the "morning after" pill, which will prevent a pregnancy from occurring. Contact your local Planned Parenthood or health clinic to get more information. If it's too late for the morning after method, you're just going to have to keep your fingers crossed till she's due for her next period. There can be thousands of sperm in a drop of semen, and there is also sperm in pre-cum, the fluid that leaks out of your cock when you first get turned on. Sperm are small, resilient, and they're fast swimmers. So never, ever go spelunking in your woman's cave of love without a raincoat

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


OUCH!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "ouch.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "ouch.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) - Sex is for sale in the state capital, and police here say there's little they can do about it. Although soliciting sexual favors on the street is illegal in Rhode Island, authorities say a loophole in state law allows prostitution behind closed doors _ including in storefronts that advertise as massage parlors and spas just blocks from City Hall. "We don't have a law criminalizing prostitution indoors," said Providence Police Lt. Thomas Verdi, who leads the department's anti-prostitution efforts. Police and city officials have pushed for legislation to toughen anti-prostitution laws, although some say adding more laws to punish prostitutes is unnecessary. State law prohibits loitering for the purpose of prostitution, as well as harboring or transporting prostitutes. But the sale of sex indoors is not specifically banned. Providence Police Lt. Thomas Verdi, who leads the department's anti-prostitution efforts, said there are about 10 spas that serve as fronts for prostitution in the city, including at least two near City Hall. A woman who answered the phone at Bally Day Spa said it was not a house of prostitution. Midori Spa could not be reached by phone for comment. Verdi said police have raided nearly every suspect spa and massage parlor in Providence and charged women there with prostitution, but the charges were thrown out because they are not doing anything illegal. "None have closed their doors, because they don't have to," he said. "They continue to operate, continue to ship in their girls." Michael Healey, spokesman for the Attorney General's office, said there are laws on the books that can be used to prosecute prostitution that takes place indoors. But he said tougher laws are needed to help police. "There's just no explicit language in that statute that says ... it is illegal for a john to pay a prostitute for sex in a room or in a spa or in a motel or something," Healey said. Steven Brown, executive director of the state chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, said he does not understand why Providence police believe prostitution is decriminalized. "The current laws on the books have real teeth in them and are available for use right now," he said. For example, he said police could establish a connection with a prostitute willing to cooperate with police, although Verdi said that is extremely difficult. Police also need proof of a sex-for-money exchange, which is difficult, said Joseph Moran, police chief in Central Falls, who is also a state representative. Earlier this year, lawmakers considered legislation that would have made prostitution a misdemeanor punishable by up to 6 months in prison and a $1,000 fine. But the bills died amid criticism that they targeted prostitutes rather than those who exploit them. "I want to get at the source, not the poor woman who was being used in this way," said state Sen. Rhoda Perry, a Providence Democrat who sponsored the Senate legislation but later withdrew it. Brown said he doubted police would be able to get at pimps by punishing prostitutes with new laws. "I'm not sure that the prospect of a 6-month jail sentence is going to convince them to snitch," he said. Garry Bliss, director of policy and legislative affairs for Providence Mayor David Cicilline, said revised legislation to target prostitution will be introduced when the General Assembly convenes next year.
 
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Winner
"Carrot Juiced!"-Jeff
Runners-up
"Let's see them make fun of these props!"-Tino
"CarrotTop Reaturns!!! In "ANNIE 2: Revenge of the Orphan."-Omar



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