For The Week Of 09/13/2004
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush lets the kids ask questions. ?How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?? asks one boy. Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they?ll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back in. ?Where were we?? says George. ?Oh, yes—does anyone want to ask me anything?? A different boy raises his hand and says, ?I have three questions: First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.? Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And, lastly, where the hell is Billy??

SITES OF THE WEEK
Total Change- Nsx To F50 -Why!
Ijaculator -Fun Times!
BBC Archive -Cool And Informational!
Big John's Toilet -Better Hit The Gym Instead
Top Olympic Quotes -Hilarious.
Ant -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Contracts!
Do whatever it takes to fit your contracts onto a single page: Format with single-spacing, use a 10- or 9-point font, and reduce the margins to less than an inch. Most people assume any contract that fits on one page will be simple and straightforward, and even sophisticated negotiators can be charmed by the lack of a staple.
ASK TINA

Q: submited by E
My wife uses sex as a bar-gaining tool, which doesn't seem fair. How do I get her to stop?

A:
How are your thespian skills? Pretend you're some B actor in a sappy Lifetime movie and say this like you mean it: "The way you hold sex over my head is damaging the intimacy of our relationship." Explain that when she treats "making love" like anything other than something "fun and exciting and romantic," it becomes "emotionally empty"--which bothers you because you want making love with her to be "positive and meaningful." Don't worry, she'll understand what you're talking about even if you don't. And you'll also be speaking the truth.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Only In America!
 
 

to view clip: right click flash and choose "save target as" option. save the file "george.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "george.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
Another televangelist, another sex scandal. Move over, Jimmy "I have sinned against you" Swaggart. Step aside, Jim "how could you hurt Tammy Faye" Baker. Now there's Paul Crouch, the 70-year-old founder of the world's largest Christian broadcasting network. Crouch has sought repeatedly to prevent a male former employee from going public with allegations of a gay sexual encounter between them eight years ago, the Los Angeles Times reported yesterday. Crouch, president of the Trinity Broadcasting Network, reached a $425,000 settlement in 1998 with the former worker who threatened to sue over claims he had been unjustly fired from the network. In a statement, the network confirmed yesterday that Crouch "reluctantly" agreed to pay Enoch Lonnie Ford, 41, with "the understanding that the accuser would go away and leave both he and TBN alone forever." "The scandalous claims leveled against him are false," the statement continued, adding that the money used to pay Ford was not ministry funds raised from the network's millions of religious faithful. "In hindsight, we should have fought Lonnie tooth and nail," Crouch's son Paul told The Times. "We should have drawn the battle lines right there." Ministry officials have described Ford, who has a history of drug problems, as a liar and an extortionist. Ford declined to discuss the case but one of his friends told The Times that Ford had told him the alleged sexual encounter with Crouch occurred in late 1996 at a network-owned cabin near Lake Arrowhead, east of Los Angeles. "Lonnie had a lot of bad traits; one thing he isn't, and that's a liar," said the friend, Sandi Mahlow, 50. The Times said Ford has threatened to go public with a manuscript detailing his allegations and wants $10 million. Crouch took additional legal action through private arbitration and last June won a ruling blocking Ford from going public. Ford is challenging the ruling. The sordid claims could damage the Orange County-based Christian broadcasting empire Crouch and his wife began in 1973. The network, which depends heavily on donations, reaches millions of people around the world. Crouch and Ford met at a network-affiliated drug treatment center in 1991. Ford went to work for the ministry the following year at a phone bank in Orange County.
 
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This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"penis envy no more"-b
Runners-up
"oritental noodle."-s
"the accessory for the modern woman" -F



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