For The Week Of 09/14/2015
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?" Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job." Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Jesus Christ! No hand-job is v worth that kind of money!" The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?" "Yes." "Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?" "Yes." "And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?" "Yes." "Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500." Guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?" The hooker replies, "$1,500." "$1,500? My God! No blow-job could be worth that. A televangelist wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!" The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy...

Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500." The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up." Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?" The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?" "Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Naughty -NFL Fans
Shocking -NFL Scandals
Super Hot -Braless Beauties
Hot Women -Workout Shorts
Really Clever -Business Cards
Escape Run 2 -Flash Game
TIPS AND TRICKS
StandupTime Helps Status Meetings Stay Quick & Efficient

The worst thing about “status” meetings is that they can turn into “planning” sessions—where a quick get-together so everyone’s on the same page drags out so long you could be doing the work you’re sitting around talking about. StandupTime is a tool that can streamline the process—especially if you have to run those meetings.

Once you’re signed up, you can connect your coworkers, build out a team calendar, and even get (and push) notifications to everyone on the team when someone finishes something important, is late or has hit a roadblock, or there’s a general update. Best of all, StandupTime can collect all of those updates and events, then put them together into a status email to send to everyone on the team. StandupTime does all of this without human interaction, which frees you up to actually work, or if you’re a project manager, manage the project instead of spending all day making sure everyone knows what everyone else is doing. If you have a “big board” or a dashboard somewhere, StandupTime even has a “TV Mode” that lets you put a live view up on the big screen. If your team uses Hipchat or Slack to communicate, it can integrate with those services to send project notifications to your team or project channel.

StandupTime is designed for whole teams (and has pricing to match), but there’s a free account option for individuals who run their own meetings, or just want to give the service a shot to see if it’ll be useful for them and the people they work with. The free account omits the Slack/Hipchat integration and the option to have “observers,” (people who don’t interact with the project but get updates) but has everything else. If you’re working on an open source project, they’ll even spot you a paid account for your team.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by Johnnie

"Recently I've decided to hire a trans escort for a hand job. It's been a fantasy to have a sexual encounter with a trans but I'm not really down to have sex because of the std risks. Therefore, I need to know how risky is getting and giving a hanjob stdwise? Also what about making out? Or should I just forget it and its a bad idea?"

A:

"it's only a bad idea if u dont want to do it. std risk are low with hand jobs and making out alot lower risk than oral or anal or vaginal."

-Lovestoeat

Source
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Rad 97-Year Old Tree-Climbing Lady


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
RAINHAM, KENT, UK -- Paul Neaverson, 61, walked in to a branch of NatWest in Rainham, Kent and held a knife to the cashier’s neck. However he was caught out when he asked the clerk to transfer the money in to his own bank account. And why did he do it? Because he needed money to book a flight to Corfu for a job interview as a golf coach. Of course.

Maidstone Crown Court heard that during the terrifying raid the cashier managed to hit the panic button. Neaverson fled, but undeterred, he only went as far as the HSBC just 400ft away where tried to hold up that bank too. Danny Moore, defending, told the court that his client has been in trouble before and described his attempt to rob the banks as ‘ridiculous’. He said: ‘It was ridiculous. It only had one ending – and here it is. He has led a law-abiding life and now finds himself staring down the barrel of a very long sentence indeed.’

Neaverson, of Rainham, Kent, pleaded guilty to two attempted robberies and possession of a blade. He has now been jailed for two years.
 
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