For The Week Of 09/15/2008
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!" Confused, the father asks what's wrong. "Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that adults don't really fuck, I'll have nothing left to live for."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Organize Your -Beer!
Guess The -Logos!
World -Names!
YouTube -Snob!
Kick Ass Tailgating -Guide!
13 Days in Hell!-Game Of The Week!
TIPS AND TRICKS
How To Use Knees in Self-defense
Step1: Jab your knee into the groin of any attacker. This is the single, most powerful against a male attacker. To do it, grab hold of the attacker at shoulder height, then with one swift, fast and hard move, force your knee into the groin of the attacker. Step2: Control a weapon of any type with your hands. While doing so, bring your knee up to jab and hurt the individual at any position on his body. This martial arts move is effective at distracting and hurting an attacker so you can get away. Step3: Forcefully move the knee into the direction of the ribs and lungs of the attacker. If the attacker has you pinned down, you can use all the force you can with your knee by aiming for the location right under the ribs. This causes a lot of pain and causes the attacker to need to step back to catch her breath, therefore opening the door for your escape. Step4: Use the knee as a kicking tool for any area of the body. A well trained martial arts student can deliver enough force to cause internal injury and bleeding the same as a car moving at 35 mph. While you may not have that level of experience, fast, hard hits to virtually any part of the body can improve your chances. Step5: Protect yourself with your knees. In self-defense, the knees can be drawn up and placed in front of your chest and head to help protect these vital organs from assault.. Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by:Trey
I have recently noticed a very foul smell from my girlfriend's vagina. I do know that some women's vaginas have a fishy smell, but this is not a fishy smell at all -- it is more along the lines of an extreme body odor-type (armpit) smell. The odor is so strong that I almost don't look forward to sexual encounters with my girlfriend. I have read other articles about bacterial vaginitis, but I haven't read anything about this type of smell. Might she have this? If she does, what can I do to inform her and where can she go to get it checked out?

A:
Trey, Bacterial vaginitis is the most common type of vaginal infection, meaning that if your girlfriend does indeed suffer from this infection it can be easily treated and you can look forward to seeing your lady friend disrobe sometime in the near future.Symptoms of bacterial vaginitis include the aforementioned foul, fishy odor, and sometimes itching and burning sensations accompany the infection. There are, however, a wide of array of different causes that may be contributing to your girlfriend’s unpleasant vaginal odor; these causes range from serious to quite simple to rectify. She might be suffering from an STD like chlamydia, genital herpes or gonorrhea, in which case both you and she should see a doctor immediately. On the other hand, she may be suffering from a yeast infection, which can be easily treated, or she might simply really need to pay more attention to her personal hygiene. Body odor-type smells usually occur for one reason and one reason only -- a lack of soap use. And since you mentioned that this particular smell is more armpit-scent inspired, I’m prompted to say that this might be the case. Nevertheless, before you get dumped for telling her she’s dirty, encourage her to see a doctor to rule out any of the other possible causes.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Fat Skater Slips and Does The Splits
 
 
STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
A PARROT is ruffling feathers at a zoo by telling visitors to “fuck off”. Max the African Grey was donated by a previous owner who got fed up with his chatter. The five-year-old also mimics car alarms and mobile phone ringtones. Keeper Peter Hansom at South Park birdhouse in Darlington, Co Durham, blamed local school-children for teaching Max the obscenity. He said: “He’s a bright chap and easily picked it up. There’s no knowing when he’ll blurt it out. I hold my breath when parents stand with small children at his cage. “Sometimes he will just say ‘hello’ or ‘bye’ but as often as not it’s ‘fuck off’. “It’s usually when people are walking away and least expect it. “His favourite trick is to stick his head in a tin cup in his cage and then swear. He seems to know it makes a louder sound.”
 
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"Mary fell just shy of winning the Lorania Bobbit catch it contest" -Ralph
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"Look at me honey, No Hands!" -Barney



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