For The Week Of 09/09/02
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, “Fluctuations.” The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”

SITES OF THE WEEK
Adultry Exposed -Revenge At Its Finest.
Super Mario Bros -Villians.
Duke Of Hazard -Road Quiz!
2Pac -Murder Details!
Looking For A Husband -Maybe A Sublimer Could Help Her!
The Osbournes -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat....Your Future Employer!
Provided you smiled and charmed your way through the interview, all it takes is a little preparation to close the deal. Get a voice mailbox and have a female friend record a message pretending she’s the human resources manager of a phony company. Keep the message simple: “Hello, you’ve reached the human resources department of Lightning Media. Please leave a detailed message and we’ll get right back to you.” Once the interviewer has left a message, have your friend return the call, confirm your past salary (“Yes, we paid him in fistfuls of diamonds”) and sing your praises. Then hope your future employer is lazy enough to love you at face value.
Jaks SB, Ca

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ASK DOCTOR JD

Q: submitted by ryan

I love oral sex. But I find that the taste is often so bitter and leaves a bad after-taste. I have read somewhere that what you eat can improve or worsen the taste of your cum. Kind of the "you are what you eat" theory, I guess. All I can remember is celery and maybe fruits. Even though my girlfriend isn't a picky eater, I would still like to make it as pleasurable as possible for her down there (and vice-versa, of course). I'm sure everyone is different and cleanliness and communication are very important... but can you still give me a run-down on what you know of this? Not expecting a miracle, just some menu suggestions. Thanks.

A:
your semen, like your breath or perspiration, is unique to you. the contents of jizz are the following. 10% sperm and the rest consists of enzymes, vitamin C, calcium, protein, sodium, zinc, citric acid and fructose sugar. supposedly diet and exercise play only a very minor role to the smell and taste of your cum. i find this hard to believe..not to mention how easily would they be able to test something like that. imagine the ad in the college paper for that one! "looking for girl to participate in study to taste and smell a million samples of jizz." the things i could find that supposedly do noticeably affect the smell and taste of cum are the following. coffee and beer supposedly make it taste bitter. smoking can make it taste almost smoky. cauliflower, broccoli, onion, garlic or asparagus tend to make it very odorous and bitter. some say milk and dairy products can leave your sperm not tasting to tasty either. to make it taste lighter/better i've seen fruits and water mentioned a few times. from all the research i gathered that a balance diet and taking care of yourself is the best bet. it makes sense if you think about it. take care of your body and it tends to run great...don't take care of it and your jizz will taste like snot with anchovies in it! oh yeah, there actually is a product out their that claims to make your jizz taste good!

-JD

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Cum Battle
 
 

to view clip: right click mouse and choose "save target as" option. save the file "cumbat.asf" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "cumbat.asf" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to mailto:webmaster@sublimedirectory.com?subject=stimes_video.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In July, a federal judge ruled against lawyer Milo J. Altschuler (Seymour, Conn.), who claimed that his across-the-knee, bare-buttocks spanking of client Leslie Cerrato in his office was a legitimate trial-preparation tactic (and thus that when she recovered a $250,000 settlement against him for the assault, Altschuler's insurance company should pay it, as "malpractice"). Altschuler claimed that he thought the spanking would improve Cerrato's credibility as a witness. [Connecticut Law Tribune, 7-15-02, via Law.com]
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Captain Ron demonstrates the "Put out or swim" technique. Works every time."-Brown
Runners-up
"Where’s the fish? I can’t see it. Everyone on the deck says its in plain sight!?!?!?!?!" -jeremy
"you know they are blondes when they think this is muff diving.!" -Rick



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