For The Week Of 09/16/2013
Happy with all the porn you're taking off Sublime? Time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A businessman was about to go on a long business trip, and was worried that his wife would cheat on him while he was gone. So to prevent this, he visited the local sex shop in order to buy his wife a vibrator to keep her occupied in his absence. After examining the products, he hadn't found an appropriately amazing vibrator and asked the store clerk for help. The store clerk recommended the "Voodoo Dick." "How does it work?" asked the businessman.

The clerk unwrapped the Voodoo Dick from its ceremonial tiki box and said to it, "Voodoo Dick that door." The vibrator flew out of the box and attacked the door with such vigor that the door split in half. "Fantastic," said the man. "I'll take it!" He instructed his wife on how to use the Voodoo Dick and left on his business trip. Soon, his wife decided to try it out and said the magic words: "Voodoo Dick my pussy." The Voodoo Dick flew out of the box and gave her orgasm after orgasm. But soon it became too much, and she couldn't figure out how to make it stop. So she got into her car and began driving to the hospital, swerving so much that she got pulled over by the police. The policeman asked her why she was driving so recklessly and she explained to him that she had a Voodoo Dick inside her that wouldn't leave her alone. The policeman looked at her skeptically and said, "Voodoo Dick, my ass."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Drug Driving -In Aotearoa
Indie Rock -Band Photos
Key & Peele's -Football Names
Robin Thicke -Loves Treats Mag
Introducing -The Incredible Bulk!
Luftrauser -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
NiftySplit Creates a Dedicated Single-Tab Chrome Window

Chrome: When you're dealing with a lot of tabs, it can be tough to stay focused on just one. NiftySplit is a unique Chrome extension with a clever idea to keep you in line.P Once you install the extension, you'll see a NiftySplit option in your right click menu whenever you click a link. Once you open that link in a NiftySplit window, Chrome will automatically fill your screen with two browser windows, each taking up half of your real estate. The one on the right is your NiftySplit window, and the one on the left is your main window.

Clicking any link in the lefthand browser will open it in the NiftySplit window's single usable tab. The concept is a little confusing to grasp at first, but I really like it. On certain pages, I'll often find myself opening multiple links in new tabs, only to never actually get around to reading them. With this extension, I can use one window to find content, and the second one to consume it distraction-free. You can still open links in separate tabs by right clicking, but this extension adds just enough friction that it can
help you stay focused.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK MY GF

Q: submitted by JB

"So everytime she gives me oral sex it only lasts for about 5 mins IF that, she says it hurts her jaw to much. Is there a way I can help her so it hurts less for her. Second she says that the consistancy of my pre-cum grosses her out
(the fact that its "slimy") any way I can change this?"

A:

"I've just learned to get what I can in my mouth without it hitting the back of my throat, (gag). I lick it a lot and play with his extra skin. Guys can get too excited and try to push it all in sometimes."

-Cathy88

AskMyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Crazy Meal Deal


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
DENVER, CO -- Fans in Denver are a mile high thanks to Peyton Manning, and it has nothing to do with his seven touchdown performance in Week 1. A medicinal marijuana dispensary in Colorado is selling Peyton Manning pot, renaming a common strain of weed after the Broncos quarterback. “That happens all the time. You can grow anything and name it anything you want,” one dispensary employee who didn’t want to be named told the Daily News. “Dispensaries will have the same strain but name it different things.” The Manning strain — Chem 91 SFV OG Kush — is described as offering “The best of both worlds, a Uplifting, Happy, Euphoric, thought provoking Sativa,” designed to treat MS, anxiety, nausea and headaches. It also has a cartoon drawing of Manning, big head included. A dispensary worker said that particular strain is common, but different dispensaries will name it different things to breed competition. “We don’t like to mess with (celebrity) names too much,” another anonymous dispensary worker said. “Too many problems.” Medicinal marijuana is popular in Denver — as of 2011 there were more dispensaries than Starbucks in the city of 619,000 — but Manning, who yuks it up in commercials for DirecTV and Papa John’s, probably won’t be geeking out over this stunt.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION--GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below.

If you win you get a free Sublime Tee!
Runners up will win a kick ass Sublime Hat!

This Weeks



Last Weeks


Winner
"Dental floss goes inside your mouth, Mom."-Blair

Runner-up
"Ugh...how can I possibly compete with that?"-Kashif



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