For The Week Of 09/19/2005
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


A rich, city man moved to some secluded mountains in Montana. He figured he had had enough of his busy city life and wanted to retire and settle down. For the first 9 months, the man was living in his personal paradise- there were no neighbors around to bother him.

Eventually, a redneck comes along to his house and rings the doorbell. The man, reluctant to compromise his solitude, answers anyway.

"Hey y'all," the redneck said. "You've been livin' up here for awhile now and nobody's e'en met ya! So I decided ta invite ya ta my party this Saturday."

"I'm not really a party animal," the man said, "But I haven't seen another human for 9 months, and it will be good for me to get out."

"Well, there might be some drinkin'."

"That's okay, I don't drink so I'll just stay away from the alcohol," said the man.

"There might be some fightin', too."

"I'll just avoid the fight," said the man.

"There might even be some sex."

"Well... I haven't been with a woman in the longest time, I'm in!" said the man. "Now what should I wear?"

"It doesn't matter much," said the redneck, "It's just gonna be the two of us."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Word Count -Most Popular and Least Popular
Talk Like A Pirate Day -Avast, me hearties!
Aurora -Eye Candy
Earth Bound Dog-Just In Case
Bill Gates -Goes to College
Jedi Trainer -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat...Golf Ball Makers
I live out in Phoenix, AZ, and I am almost sure this works for any @home service provider, granted that you can get cable TV and cable modem service through the same company. Just call them up and ask them for the cable modem access, after the come out and hook up your cable modem, buy a couple cable splitters and maybe a cable amplifier, wire the coaz cable through your house, and voila, you have cable TV in every room plus cable modem access. =)- chris

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ASK TINA

Q: submited by Krissy
Could you give me some tips that my guy and I can use to trigger my G-spot and clitoris at the same time?
A:
There's no special passion pose to guarantee his shaft alone will score a one-two knockout. But you can double your pleasure by adding some manual -- or battery-powered -- action while engaged in positions that give his member primo access to your inner hot spot. Doggie style and modified missionary (with a pillow under your pelvis and your feet resting on his shoulders) put your G-spot directly in his penile path. You can use your hands or a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris as he hits your internal bliss button with each thrust. Woman-on-top puts you in control of the angle and depth of penetration (allowing you to find the best G-spotting stance), while his hands are free to stroke your clitoris. You can also get twice as much satisfaction from oral sex by having your man slide two well-lubed fingers inside and making come-hither motions against your front vaginal wall as he titillates your clitoris with his tongue. Or, give him a hand and insert your own fingers (or a sex toy) to bring yourself to ecstasy. Have fun experimenting until you find the carnal combinations that suit you best.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Bad Jump!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "bikejump.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "bikejump.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




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STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
In the midst of a hearing in Allen Superior Court, 40-year-old Bradford Zeigler re-enacted the crime he is accused of committing this year. He stripped – twice. Baring all for the judge, several attorneys and others in the courtroom delayed proceedings the first time but halted it altogether the second time. Zeigler appeared in court Wednesday with several other inmates. He was supposed to be pleading guilty to a felony charge of public nudity stemming from an arrest in May after an officer spotted him walking naked through Foster Park. Zeigler sat quietly in the jury box with several other inmates waiting to admit guilt in various crimes. His hands were cuffed in front of him and he wore the county jail’s standard outfit – an orange jumpsuit. He waited to disrobe until after the hearing began and he was sitting at the defense table next to his attorney. The first time a bailiff redressed him, but a few minutes later Zeigler disrobed again, prompting Senior Allen Superior Court Judge Bruce Embrey to halt the hearing. Embrey is filling in this week while the county’s elected judges are attending a conference. Embrey ordered Zeigler to be psychologically evaluated by two doctors. The felony charge will remain pending until the outcome of the evaluations is determined. According to Allen County court records, Zeigler began accruing a criminal history in May. Previously, he had only one driving offense from 1991 for speeding. Zeigler pleaded guilty May 3 to a misdemeanor charge of public nudity stemming from a situation similar to the felony case, walking in Foster Park naked. He was arrested on the felony charge three days later, again for walking through Foster Park naked. In the meantime, Zeigler also pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of battery for which he was ordered to serve 60 days in jail. The probable cause affidavit alleged Zeigler touched his cellmate in a sexual manner while the cellmate slept Sept. 5. Zeigler had been naked, unbuttoned the cellmate’s jumpsuit, inappropriately touched the cellmate and later tried to kiss him, according to court documents. Zeigler offered to perform oral sex on the cellmate, court documents said. He was cited three times: twice in August and once this month for walking around naked in the Allen County Jail dayroom. The dayroom is a common area where inmates gather sometimes to play cards, eat or watch TV, Capt. Patt Kite said. Being dressed in common areas is one of the rules inmates are required to follow during their time at the jail, she said. According to Zeigler’s inmate records he was found Aug. 14 walking naked in the dayroom and told to get dressed. He did but then later that day he was found in the dayroom walking around naked again, the records said. The same thing happened Sept. 3, Kite said. Kite said although there have been occasions when an inmate has disrobed in the jail in an attempt to get attention, she couldn’t recall a situation in which inmates repeatedly removed their clothes. Officials have already discussed how Zeigler will be taken into court the next time he must appear, with restraints to prevent him from disrobing yet again before the judge, attorneys and others in the courtroom, Kite said.
 
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"So THAT'S what a funky cold medina is!"-Rob
Runners-up
"You may be the Shaq-daddy, but now i'm your Daddy, Shaq"-matt
"What do u mean you have only 4 inches"-Rock



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