For The Week Of 09/17/2012
Happy with all the porn you are taking off Sublime… time to give something back...
This week's Sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world-famous Sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entries to webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 note falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 notes falling out of your bag." "Oh, really? Damn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me." "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? "You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time a guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'. "Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well", not everybody pays..."

SITES OF THE WEEK
Champagne -Facials!
Why Hello -Hula Girl!
Google -Bacon Number!
Romania's -Merry Cemetery!
Amazing -Mind-Blowing Facts!
Closure -Flash Game!
TIPS AND TRICKS
Goodfilms Syncs with Netflix & Helps You Find Movies

If movie night inevitably means a long debate over what to watch and whether it's on Netflix streaming, Goodfilms can help you find a movie you'd like to watch, is actually good, and is on Netflix, all in one fell swoop. Goodfilms is primarily a service for rating and reviewing movies that you've seen and queuing up films you'd like to watch, but one click links your Goodfilms account with your Netflix account. Then you can sync your queues, and any films you films you queue at Goodfilms will also be added to your Netflix queue (if it's available.) From there, let Goodfilms guide you to good movies, queue them up, and a quick look at your queue will show you the ones available at Netflix (or iTunes, if you prefer.) Goodfilms uses a two-pronged approach to film ratings: you give a film a rating out of five stars based on how good it was (as if you were a film critic,) and then another rating out of smiley-faces based on how re-watchable a film is. That way you can easily find whatever you're in the mood for—a critically panned movie that's fun to watch or an incredible masterpiece that's hard to sit through but emotionally moving. If you invite friends to the service, you can see what they're watching, rating, and reviewing as well.

Feel free to send contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submitted by Kimmi

I have a small mouth, hardly any lips, and my boyfriend has a big penis. My blowjobs are a wreck and everytime I try to deepthroat, my teeth hit. Any advice??

A:
Forget about deepthroating for now. Just focus on how you move your tongue, and the motion of your head. Make sure your tongue is kind of massaging undernath his shaft, and all around the head. And make sure your head movement isn't just back and forth: try practicing by using your neck to push your chin outwards, but at the same time push your head up and then tilt it backwards. So it should all be one fluid motion: chin out, head up a little, tilt your head backwards a little. Just rest every minute or two and keep that up. So don't worry too much about how much you can get in, if you can fit the head plus an extra inch, you will be fine. Unless your guy has an unusually thick dick, then it might be a challenge to fit 2 or 3 inches in, but with practice you will be able to eventually, just never expect to be able to deepthroat.

-Tina

AskmyGF
 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new Sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.

Rapping Goldfish


Video contributions or suggestions to: webmaster@ sublimedirectory.com
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA -- The military and police are questioning a man who claims to have drifted from North Korea and was discovered hiding in a town near the western border with the North, the Joint Chiefs of Staff said Monday. The man, believed to be in his 20s, was discovered hiding in a civilian's house by a resident in Ganghwa, west of Seoul, at around 11:48 a.m. Sunday and police were called to take him into custody, the JCS spokesman Lee Bung-woo said. He was then handed over to the South Korean military.

The man, who was wearing only underwear and appeared drunk at the time, said he floated south from North Korea, Lee said. "The man said he crossed to the South, holding on to a floating object to waters off the coast of Gyodong Island," Lee said. "The floating object is seen as a wooden board that drifted due to the flood in the North." The Marine Corps now has custody of the man and is questioning him together with other agencies to ascertain his identity and his purpose for crossing the border, the JCS said, noting it will announce the results after the investigation is completed. South Korea returns North Koreans who accidentally drift to the South if they want to return, but accepts any North Korean defectors who want to live in the South.
 
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This Weeks



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Winner
"Imma getchoo Mario, and-a steal-a your CVS toilet-trees!" Marcus

Runner-up
"Let's hope Mario packed some Koopa shells." -Tina



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