For The Week Of 09/18/2006
Happy with all the porn you are taking off sublime.. time to give something back...
This week's sublime times features more jokes, cool sites, cheat tips, and of course
Sex questions... all of them for you by you... Of course we will sweeten the pot and throw
world famous sublime T-shirts and hats if we use your submission on ANY of the sections below...
Email entrees to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com. Please give us feedback too!

JOKE OF THE WEEK


Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "OK Les Give me the bottle opener."

"I didn't bring it," says Les. "I thought you packed it."

Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"

Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.

Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........

"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT FUCKING GOING!"

SITES OF THE WEEK
Guy Ritche -Done With Toys!
Seals -Make Your Own
One Sentence -Stories
Mahir -Real Life Borat
Jon Stewart-On G W.
Map Game -Game Of The Week!
Tip and Trick of the Week
Cheat..Ebay!
Tired of paying excessive fees on your eBay auctions? Then try this little “work-around” (a bit like a reach-around, but more satisfying), and leave the online auction house counting the cost of its avarice. When listing your item, set a “Buy It Now” price of $1 and set the real amount you want for the item as your shipping charge (be sure to include your actual shipping charge in this amount, too). eBay only bases its take on a percentage of the final cost of the item, not the shipping amount, so you will only pay the minimum. On a $24 million Bel Air estate, that’s a savings of $360,000! contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com
ASK TINA

Q: submited by Ty
Do condoms work just as well underwater—say, in the pool or in the shower—as they do in the bedroom?
A:
The research I did on this matter turned up conflicting conclusions: While some information indicates that you can use condoms in water since they’re tested under aqueous conditions, other sources, including the Durex Web site, report that they are not aware of any research done on how condoms perform underwater. To clear up the confusion, I contacted James Trussell, director of the Office of Population Research at Princeton University and co-author of Contraceptive Technology. He confirmed Durex’s assertion: No medical studies have been done on the efficacy of condoms when used in water. Now, this doesn’t mean a big, fat nix on using torpedo Speedos for your water sports. After all, condoms must prove their rigor by undergoing a series of stress tests before they’re sold, so they’re pretty hardy. However, since this isn’t considered a “normal” situation for condoms, you’re going to need to take certain precautions. First, make sure to don your jimmy hat pre-immersion. This will reduce the chance of water seeping under the condom, which could make it slip off. Also, be aware of the lube situation, as water washes away both a woman’s natural love juices and the artificial lube added to the condom. If there isn’t sufficient lube, the friction could cause the condom to break. Use a silicone-based lube like Eros, ID Millennium, Wet Platinum, or Liquid Silk, as silicone isn’t easily dissolved by water. Finally, be wary of using bath oils or any other substance containing oil in the water. As you know (or as you should know, damnit), oil damages latex, which will cause condom breakage. You should be equally wary of swimming-pool chemicals, as they could also weaken the latex. (Durex reports that the salt in seawater does not, though.) Also, Trussell suggests trying the female condom. Both the anatomical design (it’s inside her body and will therefore see less of the water) and the material (polyurethane) make it a safer, stronger option. Do note, though, that this does not mean male condoms made of polyurethane are similarly safe. Published studies show that the poly bags have a higher breakage rate than latex ones. It’s the placement of the female version that makes it better. So, bottom line: You can use condoms in water, but also use caution. Keep an eye on the lube and the water to make sure you’re not exposing your rubber (and yourself) to unnecessary risk.

-Tina

 
CLIP OF THE WEEK
This is our special section that will bring you a new sublime clip every week. It will either be filmed by us or sent in by you guys.


Hippo Hero!
 
 

to view clip: right click video and choose "save target as" option. save the file "movie.wmv" to your desktop. once downloaded simply double click the new "movie.wmv" icon on your desktop to watch the movie.




Video contributions or suggestions to webmaster@sublimedirectory.com.
 
 


STRANGE NEWS HEADLINES
ATHENS (Reuters) - A Greek bank robber armed with ninja throwing stars finally ran out of moves Tuesday when police arrested him after an Athens bank robbery. Petros Onen, 49, had held up 11 small suburban bank branches making away with 50,000 euros ($63,590) in recent months, threatening to throw his razor-sharp, palm-size stars -- made famous by the Japanese ninja warriors -- at cashiers, police said. His luck ran out when undercover policemen at the last bank he robbed followed him home and arrested him with his loot, his throwing stars, a fake gun and a list of other bank branches.
 
BEAT THE CAPTION-- GET FREE STUFF!

This is your chance to make a difference! Send in the captions that you think best suits "this weeks" picture below. If you win you get a free sublime T!

This Weeks



Last Weeks

Winner
"Protecting yourself from Weapons of Ass Destruction"-Tony
Runners-up
"dam those dollar tacos!" -Green
"Puke! I am your father!"-Roger
"Beer $3.00 a glass
Brat $2.50
Plate of Bean $4.00
Being the only guy at "Bush's" Family Bean fest 2006 with a gas mask?
Priceless!!! " -NIC



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